Requiem for a dream
by Dustland-Fairytales
Summary: One rainy autumn night, Kakashi stumbles over a half-dead girl.She has no memory of her former life,but possesses a unique ability that could help to save Konoha-or destroy it when she is forced to chose between the village and the man she loves.SasukexOC
1. Prologue

_**~Requiem for a Dream~**_

_How far would you go to save the one you love...? _

**Summary:** One rainy autumn night, Kakashi stumbles over a half-dead girl. She has no memory of her former life at all, but possesses a unique ability that could help to save Konoha in times of upcoming war - or destroy it, when she is forced to decide between the village and the man she loves...Sasuke x OC.

**Disclaimer:** I'm only saying this once – Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, not to me. I don't own a single penny with this story.

* * *

* _**Prologue **_*

The night was utterly dark and the rain was pouring down relentlessly. Not a single star managed to get past the thick layer of clouds that covered the sky, and no one could escape the harsh and chilling wind.

Even if Kakashi hadn't been out in the field for hours he would have been completely soaked and freezing. Not even the crowns of the trees he was moving under could shelter him from the rain. Being the experienced ninja he was, he tried to ignore the cold as good as possible and kept on running through the forest. He was getting close to the border to the sound country, and he couldn't afford to lose his focus now.

Suddenly, Kakashi heard some branches crack behind him. Instantaneously, he whirled around, at the same time grabbing one of his kunai.

Nothing. There was nothing.

Or was there?

Kakashi couldn't sense any chakra, yet he was sure someone was out there. Narrowing his visible eye, he cautiously moved forwards, one step at a time, trying to make no sound at all. A startled, half-choking sound to his right made him jump. Out of reflex, he lifted his arm to throw the kunai – and stopped short.

A girl was staring at him with wide eyes, filled with terror. She was young – probably not older than fifteen or sixteen. But it was not that which caught his attention. It was how she looked that had him rooted to the ground.

Her clothing – or rather, what might have been her clothing before, for now it was hardly worth the appellation – was almost completely shredded and barely concealed her famished, bruised and wound-covered body. How she could walk or even stand was a mystery to him. Even in war he hadn't seen anything similar. It looked as if there was no spot on her skin that was unscathed, except for some parts of her face.

She tried to stumble backwards, away from him, obviously afraid of him, but her knees buckled beneath her. Her eyes locked with his one last time before she fell to the ground.

* * *

**A/N.:** The links to the soundtrack can be found on my profile page. Please note that in this story, the main characters are three years older than they originally are in the manga/anime, just because I feel more comfortable with it. If you don't like it, feel free to pretend they are still 15/16 during the shippuuden-episodes and ignore it when I say that someone is 18.


	2. The girl with no name

***Chapter 1***

_Whoever wants to shine  
Flees from the light  
He faces the night  
The paleness that gleams on our cheeks  
Makes us as beautiful as angels  
They will fall to their knees  
And pray for the moon to stay hidden_

_- Subway to Sally – Eisblumen (Frost pattern) -_

* * *

„Hatake-san?"

Kakashi averted his gaze from the fragile looking body that was covered with clean white sheets now. It had taken him almost a day and a half to get the girl to the nearest hospital in Takigakure. Not exactly the best one, but the only one in the area that had medic-nins who could deal with wounds like those. Kakashi hadn't even been sure she would still be alive when he reached the hospital, seeing how it had been hard to find places on her skin where he could tough her without laying his hands onto some wound, but somehow he hadn't been able to just leave her there to die. As soon as he had entered, a bunch of nurses and medics had rushed over and taken her to the operating room. Now, five hours later, they had finally transferred her to a normal room, where she lay, attached to countless machines and tubes.

"Hai?"

The medic that had addressed him hesitated. "Are you related to the girl?"

"Uhm...no? Why?"

The medic frowned. "I'm afraid, but I'm not allowed to give any information to anyone who is not related to the patient."

"I doubt there is anyone else here to care for her but me."

"Still, I-"

"Kaito-san," a harsh voice interrupted him. Turning around, Kakashi recognized the voice belonged to one of the nurses who had been in the emergency room. "This is the man who brought her here and he has been waiting here for hours. Furthermore, he is probably the only one who knows her, so he's responsible for her at the moment – tell him!"

The man – Kaito – cringed and begrudgingly began to rattle off her injuries. "Fine...let's see. The girl is severely injured. Multiple cuts and bruises, some broken bones, mostly ribs and the right arm as well as some bones in her hand, a basically shattered rib, fortunately no internal bleeding, most likely a concussion, too. We were able to cure those wounds without much effort. We found tracks of several types of poison and antidotes in her system, though, that probably brought her near death more than just once before she was cured last-minute. All in all it look like she's either been tortured or used as a guinea pig, or both – for several weeks at the least. We know this because some of the cuts are half-healed, and there are basically three or four layers of bruises in different stages. And..." The medic hesitated.

"There's more?" Kakashi asked matter-of-factly, hiding his concern well. He was a ninja, after all, and trained not to show his emotions. He merely cast the man a short glance before continuing to watch the unconscious girl.

"Yes." Kaito swallowed hard. "She...she's been raped. Several times, from what we can tell."

"Kami," Kakashi whispered and closed his eyes. He had seen so much cruelty and brutality during the war, but somehow, in the times of peace, he seemed to have forgotten how vicious men could be. She was so young. She shouldn't have experienced something like this. No one should. "Who does something like this?"

Kaito shrugged helplessly. "We hoped that you could maybe give us some information. Her name, address...something like this."

Kakashi shook his head. "I don't know who she is. Nor where she came from or whether she has got family. I don't know anything about her."

"Now that's too bad...so, if you are responsible for her..."

Kakashi glanced at the man, knowing what he wanted to say. "I'll pay the bill", he said emotionlessly.

Kaito actually had the impertinence to look satisfied.

"Will she pull through?"

The medic shrugged nonchalantly. "We cannot tell. Her condition is still critical, but at the moment her vital signs are stable. This could change within an hour, though. We'll have to wait and see whether she responds to the treatment and whether her condition improves."

"May I go in?" Kakashi inquired.

For a moment it looked as if the medic wanted to decline, but, remembering the angry look he had been given by the nurse only minutes before, he nodded shortly.

"Ten minutes."

* * *

Kakashi cautiously sat down on the chair next to the bed. The continuous beeping of the machines unnerved him. _Beep – beep – beep – beep- beep._.. It reminded him too much of Rin's death so many years ago. He had spent a lot of hours in the hospital back then, but hadn't been able to help or do _anything _at all. All he could do was sit by her side and wait for her death. Maybe this was why he still hated being in hospitals so much. He associated hospitals with death rather than with cure.

"Don't die, understood?" he sternly told the unconscious girl. "Who are you?" he muttered. He didn't even know why he cared...but there had been something in her eyes when she looked at him that made him feel responsible for her. Kakashi tried to remember what the colour of her eyes was, but he couldn't remember.

Thoughtfully, he observed the girl, trying to take in as many facts as possible, as if that would tell him something about her. Her reddish-brown hair was cut to chin-length, but seemed to have been ripped out at several spots. Her cheeks were hollow and there were dark circles beneath her eyes. Hadn't she been as famished, she might even have been pretty. Not exactly a beauty, maybe, but pretty, yes.

Kakashi couldn't stop wondering who she was and who had done this to her. And why. She could have been a kunoichi that had been caught during a mission and tortured for information, but for some reason he knew that she had never been leading the life of a ninja. Despite the fresh wounds, she had no scares whatsoever. And one couldn't be a ninja without gaining some scars along the way.

He heard a knock on the door, signalling him that the time was up and he had to leave.

"You better get well soon," he told her quietly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Kakashi came again the next day. And the day after that. And again the day after _that._

Every day the same procedure would take place. He was allowed to go into her room for a short time, and then would continue to watch her from the outside. He knew that he was probably acting stupid, but he had the feeling she would know he was there, and maybe it would help her. At least she had been detached from all the machines by now, so it seemed as if her condition was slowly improving.

When he came in on the fifth day, the nurse who had snarled at Kaito the first day welcomed him with a genuine smile.

"She is getting better," she informed him. "She might even wake up today."

Kakashi sighed, relieved.

"If you want to, you can stay in her room until she wakes up", the nurse told him. "I don't think it will harm her, and actually it will probably be good if she sees a familiar face when waking up."

"She doesn't know me," Kakashi objected.

"I know, but according to what you told us, your face was the last thing she saw before falling unconscious. She might remember you, and in that case she might not be as scared as if she woke up to total strangers surrounding her," she explained. The nurse paused shortly. "I should warn you, though. It is very likely that she will be traumatised. In fact, I would be surprised if she wasn't, considering what she went through. So...be gentle, keep a certain distance and don't be shocked if she screams at you or is afraid of you – that would be a normal reaction. Just call me as soon as anything happens, alright?"

Kakashi nodded solemnly and entered the room.

* * *

In the end, he had to wait until it was almost midnight before the girl began to stir. Kakashi quietly retreated to the window – he wasn't so sure a masked face would be the most calming and reassuring sight when she woke up.

Finally, her eyes fluttered open and she drew in a sharp breath as she tried to take in her surroundings. Her face became confused and Kakashi had the feeling she would soon begin to panic. And then she spotted him.

With a muffled scream, she shot up and crawled backwards until her back hit the wall. With a low whimper, she crouched down, pulling her knees to her body, trying to make herself as small as possible.

Kakashi winced at the fear in her eyes. He lifted his hands and took another step back, to make her understand he meant her no harm.

"Easy, girl," he murmured. "It's alright. I won't hurt you."

Something else flashed in her eyes, and all of a sudden, Kakashi felt as if his mind was attacked from the inside. As if someone was pushing against his mental barriers, tearing them down. Before he could react, a stream of pictures and feelings invaded his mind. Darkness. A small, cramped room. Pain. Fear. A blurry face appearing in front of him, but he couldn't make out who it was – all he could see was the sadistic smile that played around the lips. Then, more pain.

The sensation disappeared as soon and abruptly as it had come. Breathing heavily, Kakashi stared at the girl.

_What the hell was that?_

It hadn't been anything _he_ had experienced, yet it had felt so real..._"It must've been her memories,"_ he mused. He wondered whether she even knew what she was able to do, what she _had_ been doing only seconds ago. He guessed not.

"Who are you?" the girl asked, her voice shaking. "What do you want from me?" She blinked. "I have seen your face before," she mumbled almost inaudibly. "You are the man in the forest."

Kakashi nodded. "My name is Hatake Kakashi. You don't need to be afraid of me," he added, seeing how she wrapped her arms closer around her body. "I mean you no harm. You were severely injured, so I brought you to this hospital where you were taken care of." She avoided his gaze, he noticed. She must have been more frightened than he thought she was. "What's your name?" he asked her softly.

The haggardness was clear on her face and her look flashed from one place to another, as if she was searching something. "I...I don't know," she whispered shakily. "I don't remember."

"You- you don't remember your name?" Kakashi was baffled.

The girl shook her head. "I don't remember anything. Only darkness and pain and screams and coldness. And then...your face. Nothing else."

These memories exactly matched the pictures she had basically thrown at him before, he noted. So his guess had been right, it had been her memories...as he took a step closer, she finally lifted her eyes to look at him. They were a very dark shade of green, almost like the colour of fir needles, with tiny silver spots sprinkled in them. As soon as she met his gaze, once again something flashed in her eyes. This time, Kakashi felt nothing, but she let out a shriek and retreated even further, burying her face in her hands.

"What the...?"

She was breathing hard now, almost like an asthmatic. He approached her, but before he could get much closer she spoke up: "Please don't touch me, _Sharingan no Kakashi of Konohagakure._"

Again, Kakashi was startled. "How do you know what people call me?" he asked harshly. "How do you know where I come from?"

"I could see it," she whispered somewhat desperately, still refusing to look at him. "I could see everything. Your memories suddenly filled my mind. They are everywhere and _they just won't leave_. It's almost like they aren't your memories but mine, they are so vivid and clear. So many memories of war and loss, of love and hate, of names and places and..."

"So the effects goes both ways," Kakashi thought. "Interesting...just what is this? Is this some special ability, her Kekkei-Genkai, even? I wouldn't have thought she was a ninja...then again, I've never heard of any ninja with an ability like hers before so maybe she isn't a kunoichi at all..."

In the end, it was the girl who vocalized what he was thinking: "What the hell is going on?"


	3. The return to Konoha

*** Chapter 2 ***

_Where has my heart gone?  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I, I want to go back to  
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all _

Where has my heart gone?  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I, I want to go back to  
Believing in everything

_Evanescence: Field of innocence - _

* * *

Sighing, Kakashi rubbed his temples and tried to ignore the itching in his – _Obito's_ – eye. The past two days had been exhausting, even thought he hadn't actually done much save waiting and waiting and waiting. He had thought this endless sitting around would stop as soon as the girl woke up, but quite the contrary had happened.

During the past two days, the medics and nurses had run countless tests on the girl to figure out what was wrong with her and, respectively, deciphering her DNA to check whether her abilities might be a kekkei genkai. None of that had gone as simply and swiftly as they had wanted it to, though, for the girl wouldn't let anyone touch her and refused to talk to anyone.

They didn't even get close enough to take a look at her injuries, for every time a new, unknown person entered the room, she would retreat to the farthest corner of the room and growl at them until they let her alone. Kakashi knew it wasn't because she was really afraid of them in person, she was only afraid of the touch, and of experienced the same thing that had happened when looking at Kakashi. It was obvious that she couldn't control it at all: every time she looked at someone she absorbed all of their memories, with no exceptions. So she had refused to look at anyone and struggled so hard every time they had tried to persuade her to let them check her through that they had felt impelled to put her under a heavy genjutsu to examine her.

What unsettled him the most was her general behaviour, though. He had expected her to go into shock, to scream, to cry. She didn't do any of that. She just kept staring at the walls with a blank face, mostly not portraying any emotions at all.

Kakashi's head jerked up as another medic entered the room. "Any news?"

The medic shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. We've been searching for some barrier that might block her memories, but there is none to be found. We can only assume that the amnesia was caused by the shock and the ...previous events."

"And that means...?"

The medic shrugged. "Maybe she will remember one day. Maybe she will never remember anything. As for the other issue...we cannot help her with that. It seems as if she doesn't consciously do it, and we have no idea how to stop her from doing it. She'll just have to deal with it." He shrugged again, showing his indifference. "We'll release her tomorrow – her wounds heal well, and there is no reason to keep her here where she obviously doesn't feel comfortable."

Kakashi raised his eyebrows. He thought they didn't want to release her because she didn't feel comfortable but rather because they wanted to get rid of her – she did cause a lot of work and trouble, after all.

"She has got nowhere to go," Kakashi remarked quietly.

"That's regrettable, but not our problem. We are a hospital, not an orphanage." The medic didn't even notice the angry glare Kakashi shot him – he was already halfway out the door.

* * *

Kakashi knocked several times before he opened the door, not bothering to wait for a response. The girl hadn't been as averse to his presence as she had been with others and wasn't as afraid of looking at him. He was sure she didn't trust him at all, but she had gotten used to him sitting on the windowsill in complete silence, all the while reading his infamous favourite books. Mostly, she had just ignored him, yet sometimes he had thought he had caught her glimpse at him – or rather, his book – with some curiosity.

"Yo," he greeted her, and she nodded, acknowledging his greeting. Kakashi claimed his usual spot by the window, while she continued to stare at one of the walls. As soon as she realised he didn't take out his books, however, she narrowed her eyes at him, waiting for him to say something.

"Okay, kid, here's how it is," Kakashi sighed and scratched the back of his head. "The medics don't know what to do anymore and intend to release you tomorrow. Now you've got two options: _One_..." He held up his index finger to emphasize his words. "...you leave and wander around out there alone, not knowing where to turn to, or, _two" – _second finger was lifted – "you come with me."

Every inch of her body tensed and she looked at him warily.

"Why would I do that?" Kakashi was surprised when she spoke up.

"Tsunade-sama, our Hokage, is a very skilled medic-nin - most likely the best. If there is anyone in this world who could help you regain your memories, then it's her." Kakashi paused, letting the words sink in. "It's your decision, kiddo. If you want to come, meet me at the entrance at noon."

With those words, he got up again and left the girl to think about his offer.

* * *

When Kakashi neared the hospital entrance – an hour and a half late, of course, because one had to cherish the traditions – he spotted the lonely figure at once. She looked terribly forlorn in her wide, black cloak and with her arms wrapped tightly around her petite body.

"Yo," he said lazily. "Sorry I'm late. I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life."

She didn't seem to be surprised that he was late – then again, considering that she had seen his memories, she probably knew everything about him now and had expected it. Kakashi shouldered the baggage and started walking. The girl followed him with some distance.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, he turned around.

"What?" she asked abrasively.

"Just wondering." He said, "How am I supposed to call you? The journey to Konoha will take us two weeks, and I can't keep calling you 'kiddo' forever."

She shrugged. "I don't really care."

"Hn." Kakashi cogitated. "How does Akiya sound to you?"

"'_Autumn night'_?" She considered that for a moment, then shrugged again. "It's alright, I guess."

Kakashi smiled. "Akiya it is, then."

* * *

They mostly travelled in silence for the rest of the journey. Akiya's tension was almost tangible, and it grew even worse the closer they came to Konoha. Kakashi noticed that she didn't sleep well at night. It took her hours to fall asleep at all, and then she began tossing and turning and often woke up with a start again. Nightmares were haunting her. In those moments, he asked himself whether it wasn't better for her if there were some thing she didn't remember.

Kakashi led her through the gates towards the Hokage tower, ignoring the villager's curious stares, and told her to wait outside while he entered Tsunade's office.

"You are late", Tsunade greeted him irritably.

"I-"

"DON'T GIVE ME YOUR STUPID EXCUSES!" the Hokage shouted. **"**IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS A DAY LATE, BUT TWO WEEKS ARE JUST INEXCUSABLE!"

"Actually, this time I have a good excuse", Kakashi replied calmly. And then he began to tell the story of the girl in the forest.

When he had finished, Tsunade laid her chin on her folded hands and looked at him thoughtfully.

"Well..."she began slowly, "I'll take a look at her. But you shouldn't raise your and her hopes too high. I've never heard of anything like this before. However, I'll see what I can do. And _you-"_ She glared at him before tossing him a scroll "This is a new mission for you. I know you should have time to rest, but since the client especially requested you, you will just have to deal with it. And Kakashi – I expect you to be back in five days at noon, and not a single hour later, _or you will have to face my wrath_! Did I make myself clear?"

Kakashi cringed. "H-Hai!"

* * *

Five days later, twelve o'clock sharp, Kakashi stood in the Hokage's office again. Tsunade's jaw dropped at the unfamiliar sight.

"I suppose I should threaten you more often," she commented with a sly smile.

"I would rather appreciate it if you didn't," Kakashi replied coolly, causing Tsunade's smirk to widen. "So...how is Akiya?"

Tsunade's face darkened at once. "I tried whatever I could, but she still hasn't regained her memory. She still refuses to let anyone near her, too." She sighed. "I'm at a loss."

Kakashi frowned. "Where is she now?" he inquired. He didn't even know why he still felt responsible for the girl, after all he didn't know her, and had no bond with her either. At the beginning, he had planned to drop her off at Tsunade's office and let someone else take care of her. He had hoped that she would remember who she was and would travel back to reunite with her family – or something similarly cheesy. But since this hadn't happened, he felt as if he should be the one to be there for her.

"The girl is at the orphanage."

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow. "Do you really think the _orphanage _is the right place for her?" he questioned sceptically.

Tsunade bristled with anger. "The elders got wind of her being here. Of course, they wanted to see her and let her be interrogated by Ibiki immediately, seeing that she is a stranger without any permission to be in Konoha. They suspect her to put on an act, and that she is a spy. They enforced her stay at the orphanage." The disdain she held for the elders was clear in her voice.

"I better go find her, then", Kakashi announced with a weary sigh.

* * *

Two hours later, he still hadn't found her, and he began to panic. The head of the orphanage had told him that Akiya hadn't slept there a single day, but had fled from the place as soon as possible, never to come back. So now he was still searching the entire village, for he knew she couldn't have left Konoha without being noticed. And he was worried – if she had slept outside without proper equipment – which she couldn't possess – she would be freezing. The rain was pouring down again, and the nights were perpetually growing colder as the beginning of winter was approaching.

In the end, there was only one place he hadn't checked yet: the training grounds. Yet, he had no idea why she should be there of all places. Kakashi went there anyway, deciding that if he didn't find her there, he would call it a day and stop searching.

And really, she was there, sitting in the shelter of a tree, her knees pressed against her upper body and curled into a small ball. She looked up as she heard him come closer, and Kakashi felt a jolt of solicitude run through his body. If possible, she was even thinner than before.

He stood in front of her, his hands buried in his pockets and nodded towards the village. "Come," he said simply, and started walking. A few seconds later, he heard the rustling of her clothes and the light steps behind him.

He brought her to his apartment. "You can stay here," he offered. "If you want to dry yourself, the bathroom's over there. There should be some old shirts as well – you can use them as a nightgown. Go and get some sleep – I'll find a place to stay tonight, buy some groceries and come back to check on you in a few hours."

Akiya nodded and headed towards the bathroom.

"I guess I should go see whether Genma or Tenzou are currently in Konoha," he mused. "They still owe me..." Begrudgingly, he laid his hand on the doorknob. He wasn't particularly keen on getting completely soaked again, but it couldn't be helped...

Just as he was about to open the door, he heard her hesitant voice behind him. "Kakashi-san?"

He turned around, startled. She had never addressed him before, let alone with his name. "Hai?"

"Thank you."


	4. Hold me

*** Chapter 3 ***

"_Laugh", you told me,  
You have to laugh.  
Come, get up again.  
Forget the world and close your eyes  
My hand is with you"_

_Rosenstolz : Lachen (Laughter - translation) -_

* * *

Kakashi was back at his apartment in no time. He had found out that Genma wasn't in town, but had, as always, left the window open, so Kakashi had decided to crash at his friend's place tonight. After all, he was sure that Akiya would prefer to be left alone during the night. His plan was to grab a few clothes and then return to Genma's to simply throw himself on the bed and get some sleep.

When he tiptoed into his apartment with the intention not to wake Akiya, it only took him seconds to realise the bed was unoccupied. The sheets were creased, though, so it was evident that she had been lying in bed. Just where was she gone to now?

Only then did he notice the rushing of water in the bathroom. Kakashi cocked his head. The shower was running, yet she had neither closed the door nor switched on the light. Frowning, he entered the bathroom and pressed the switch. As the light flickered on, he became aware of two things. One: the bathroom floor was basically flooded with cold water and two: Akiya was sitting on the floor beneath the shower, curled up into a tiny ball and shivering violently. Her clothes were completely soaked and clung to her thin body.

Kakashi sighed inwardly and made his way to the distraught girl. She didn't move as he sat down next to her – she didn't even flinch, even though he was positive she had heard him come in. He shuddered as the cold water hit him, but then again, it wasn't any colder than the rain outside.

Unexpectedly, Akiya began to speak, her voice trembling. "I couldn't sleep. Every time I woke up screaming. It's ...so dark and cramped. Too much like..."

She trailed off, but Kakashi didn't need her to finish the sentence to understand what she was talking about. It didn't surprise him in the slightest that after everything that had happened, she was claustrophobic. What did surprise him, though, was that she suddenly moved closer to him and laid her hand on his arm, clinging to him like a drowning man would clutch a straw.

"I can feel their hands on me," she whispered with a haunted voice, "They are everywhere, and I can't get rid of them. I cannot wash them off."

Kakashi realised she was crying. So she finally was going into shock. Even though it unsettled him to see her like this, he figured it was a good thing. Maybe she would begin to work through the traumatic experiences. Akiya reminded him of himself, after he had seen the first people die, and after he had killed the first time. First, he had refused to talk and think about it, and after a few days, had suddenly felt the desperate urge to wash the non-existent blood of his hands. He had spent hours and hours scrubbing his hands, yet had felt as if the blood had lingered. He had felt incredibly...dirty.

Akiya was going through the same pain he had experienced. She had been shutting herself off from the world, but he had known she would break down eventually. It would be good for her. She needed to get over this and start anew, no matter how hard it would be.

Hesitantly, he moved his arm to lay it around her shoulders and pull her closer. She didn't resist, but instead put her head on his shoulder, crying soundlessly.

"Are you cold?" he murmured, and she shakily nodded her head yes. Kakashi reached upwards to switch the tap and let the hot water pour down on them.

Kakashi waited patiently while Akiya changed into one of his dry shirts and pants. She had stopped crying eventually, so he had ordered her to get into bed again. She seriously needed some sleep. Well, so did he, but he wasn't so sure he would get any tonight.

Akiya entered the room and slipped under the sheets. Kakashi watched her from the doorway. His clothes were definitely too big for her, even though her height was average, but like that they at least hid the fact that she was still painfully thin. He would have to make sure she would put on some weight, he decided. And he didn't care if he had to shove the food into her mouth himself.

"Why were you at the training grounds?" he asked her curiously. He had expected her to search for a quiet, peaceful place, not go to one where there was violence all the time.

"I wanted to avoid the people in the village," she explained quietly. "I cannot control this...this _thing_. Tsunade-sama says it's probably a kekkei genkai that only just activated itself, but I have no influence on it whatsoever. I can't stop seeing people's memories – and once I've seen them, I cannot forget them. They are stored in my brain...pictures, emotions, names...and I don't want that. I don't want other people's memories entering my mind."

That was the longest speech she had ever given. Until now, she had never uttered more than one or two sentences at the most. Kakashi smiled. So Akiya was beginning to trust him and slowly opened up.

"Plus..." Akiya continued hesitantly, "I thought I might be able to learn a few tricks from the trainees."

Kakashi was surprised. "You want to learn how to fight?"

"I want to learn how to defend myself," she corrected him.

Kakashi contemplated that for a moment. "I'll speak to Tsunade-sama tomorrow. You will need special training to learn how to control your kekkei genkai anyway, so maybe we can enrol you in the academy or at least get you a good trainer..."

Her eyes widened. "You don't need to bother with me, you know that."

Kakashi smiled. "It's no bother. If you need anything, I'll be there for you."

"That's usually what friends are for."

"Well, looks like I am your friend, then."

Akiya stared at her hands. "Friends..." she murmured. "I overheard one of the villagers saying something interesting the other day. '_A friend is someone who holds your hand and touches your heart'_, were here words." She glanced at him, a pleading look in her eyes, and Kakashi thought that she had never before looked so...so _vulnerable_.

"Hold me, Kakashi," she whispered. "Only a while, until I can sleep."

* * *

"This is completely out of question!" Elder Homura's face was red with anger, and elder Koharu didn't seem to be pleased, either. Not that Kakashi had expected that, but their reaction was more vehement and hostile than he had anticipated.

He and Tsunade exchanged glances. The fifth Hokage was visibly annoyed with the elders. Kakashi knew that she didn't get along well with the counsellors, for they often had contrarian opinions on important matters and Tsunade hated to be ordered around by them. Unfortunately, even though Tsunade held the official power in this village, it was the elders who had the last word in the important matters.

Sighing, Kakashi scratched the back of his head. This was ridiculous. The elders had no reasons to believe that Akiya was a spy, yet they were determined not to change their mind and let her enter the academy.

"Don't you think it is pretty unlikely that anyone would beat their spy to a bloody pulp before sending her out to run across one of our ninjas who would take her to Konoha so that she could infiltrate our village unsuspected?" Tsunade's voice oozed with sarcasm. "She nearly died out there, for Kami's sake! And no one could have known Kakashi would bring her to Konoha."

"Our decision is final," elder Koharu told them coolly, before striding out the door with elder Homura.

Tsunade slammed her fist on the desk, making Kakashi jump. "Argh!" she screamed. "This is ridiculous!"

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Tsunade-sama?"

"Yes?" the Godaime barked irritably.

"I'll do it."

"Huh?"

"Well, since they do not allow her to enter the academy, I will teach her what she needs to know. I don't care whether you will allow me to do it, but she needs to learn how to control her kekkei genkai, and she needs to learn how to defend herself. I only ask of you to...put me on leave for a while. I cannot both go on missions and instruct her."

Tsunade considered that, and then nodded. "I don't like the idea of not being able to resort to you when assigning mission, but I guess it cannot be helped - since you are the only one she seems to trust it is the only logical conclusion that you teach her." She sighed heavily. "You should concentrate on teaching her control first, though. Regarding the rest...well, I'm not sure Akiya is suited for this."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Why is that?"

"I don't sure Akiya is mentally stable enough to be a kunoichi."

"If you say mental stability is the key qualification for shinobi, you would have to kick more than half of them out," Kakashi commented dryly.

The Hokage smirked. "This point goes to you, Hatake Kakashi. I'll put you on leave. Teach her. As soon as you think that she cannot deal with it anymore, though, stop immediately. Understood?"

"Hai."

"Good. Get out, then." Tsunade waited until the copy nin had left her office, then called her assistant. "Shizune?"

"Hai?"

"Get me Shiranui Genma. He has returned from his mission an hour ago, hasn't he?"

"That's right, Tsunade-sama. He is waiting right outside."

"Even better. Tell him to come in."

A few moments later, a tall shinobi entered the office, like always a senbon between his lips and his hitai-ate backwards.

"Ahh, Genma, you are just in time. I have another mission for you. Your old friend, Hatake Kakashi is going to start training a girl named Akiya soon. I'm not sure she will be able to control herself, and since he is terribly biased when it comes to her, I want you to keep an eye on them and report to me regularly. Stay hidden, though, your presence might upset her. Any questions?"

* * *

Akiya was already waiting for him. As soon as Kakashi entered the room, she sprang up from her seat by the window and looked at him expectantly.

Kakashi smiled at her.

"Let's begin, shall we?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "They don't want you to teach me, do they?"

Kakashi sighed. Even now she already read him so easily. "No, the elders don't approve of that. But I don't care."

"I don't want you to get into trouble because of me."

"I won't get into trouble," he promised her. "Actually, Tsunade ordered me to teach you control over you kekkei genkai – and more, if I think you can handle it. So come on...training starts now."


	5. Training begins

*** Chapter 4 ***

_- Memoires __of a geisha (Soundtrack): Becoming a geisha –_

* * *

They had moved to one of the unoccupied training grounds to start their work there. Kakashi had noticed Akiya kept her head down, avoiding looking at anyone. "So," he began slowly, "does this memory-reading thing only happen when you look at someone?"

Akiya nodded. "Yes. First, it was only when I had eye-contact with someone, but now I sometimes see their memories if I let my gaze linger on them too long," she said darkly. "At least they mostly don't see my memories anymore. Somehow I manage to keep them hidden."

Something in her voice caught Kakashi's attention.

"Has there been a change in your memory?" he asked, recalling the previous night. When she had finally fallen asleep due to exhaustion, still holding his hand, she had been tossing and turning restlessly and even sometimes screamed silently. The only positive thing had been that she hadn't woken up again, and even Kakashi had managed to fall asleep on his seat by the bed eventually. Still, there had been something different from before, when they had been travelling to Konoha.

Akiya hesitated and bit her lip. "I...no. Yes. The dream has changed slightly. Or maybe I dreamt about it before and just didn't remember when I woke up. I see...another face. A young woman. She...we look alike."

"So you think she might be related to you? If you say she was young, she might be your sister..."

There was another pause. "Yes. It doesn't matter, though."

"It doesn't matter?" Kakashi was dumfounded. "Of course it matters! If she is related to you, we might be able to find her, and she will be able to tell you who you are. You might even be able to return to your former life."

"I highly doubt that," Akiya responded quietly. If that was possible, she had grown even paler than before.

"Care to elaborate?" Kakashi tried to sound casual, but didn't succeed. Judging from her facial expression, which was completely blank and carefully composed, nothing good had happened in her dream. "What happens to her?"

"She...she begs them to stay away from me, to take her instead." Akiya's voice was barely audible while she stared into nothingness. "She screams and cries and...someone is laughing. And then...they kill her. I could see the sword and all the blood and..." Akiya drew in a sharp breath and pressed her lips together, clearly not wanting to say any more.

Kakashi closed his eyes. Again, he thought that no one should have to experience so much pain at so young an age. Yet he knew she wouldn't want his pity.

"Do you see who does it?" he inquired calmly. Maybe this would give him an idea where to start looking for her past.

Akiya shook her head. "No. I don't know who did this. But there is one thing I do know. As soon as I am able to defend myself, as soon as I am strong enough, I will find them. I will find them, and I will kill them for what they did!"

She meant what she said – he could see that she was determined to do it. She had changed during the past weeks, he thought. Or rather since the previous night. There was not much left of the frightened girl he had found in the forest. Instead, she now painfully reminded him of a former student of his...a certain Uchiha who had left Konoha in search of power to avenge his clan.

Kakashi sighed inwardly. He could understand her. He really did. But he would make sure she would not make the same mistake Sasuke had.

Never.

* * *

They began their training with basic chakra control. Since Akiya was already familiar with the theory thanks to the fact that she had seen Kakashi's memories earlier, he skipped the introduction concerning the chakra system and tried to make her aware of the chakra running to her body. He let her meditate for half an hour with the instruction to just concentrate on "finding" her chakra, and then continued with easy tasks to let her concentrate her chakra in certain areas of her body, just so that she would know when to use her chakra and when not. He didn't want her to use her chakra unconsciously, after all.

When he had the feeling she had grasped this, he asked her about her experiences with her abilities. "So...what do you actually see in your head when you see someone's memories?"

Akiya thought about that for a minute. "I see pictures – from infancy to now. Everything is there. Smells, sounds and even the feelings of that certain person."

"What about thoughts?"

Akiya declined. "I know nothing about their thoughts."

"Hmm...fine. What I want you to do now is to read my mind."

"Just like that?"

Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly. "It's your kekkei genkai, after all. Now that you know how to _not_ use your chakra, you should be able to look at someone without seeing his memories at once. On the other hand, using your chakra, you should be able to control when you want to read someone's mind...I cannot really say how to do this, since I have never heard of an ability quite like yours before, but it's _your_ kekkei genkai after all. I'm sure you'll just...feel it and know what to do."

"Okay..." Akiya shifted uncomfortably and closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. Now that she was aware of the chakra running through her body, she could almost feel its desire to go into a certain direction. Deciding it was worth a try, she let it run free, and really, when she opened her eyes and looked at Kakashi, his memories flooded her mind again. With a gasp, Akiya tried to shut down the chakra flow and eventually managed to stop the pictures rushing through her mind.

Kakashi looked at her curiously. "Interesting," he said. "It seems that your kekkei genkai is some kind of dou-jutsu. Whenever you do this, the silver spots in your eyes almost seem to dance...now, could you do the same thing backwards?"

"Backwards?"

"Show me what you saw. Just like you did that first day in the hospital."

Akiya tried to recall what she had done back then, but found that she had no idea what to do. Following her instincts, she concentrated on a certain picture and tried to shove it behind her mental barrier. Kakashi tensed slightly but otherwise showed no sign of emotion.

"Did it work?" Akiya asked.

"Hai."

"What did you see? Did you see everything or just one memory?"

"Just one," Kakashi replied. "You showed me how I met my team for the first time."

Akiya nodded, satisfied. This had been the memory she had focused on. "Do you think that if I can select certain memories when I send them to someone, I also can select the memories I want to see?"

"Hmm." Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "That might be possible. We will try to work on that soon. No taijutsu until I can be sure you won't collapse, and no nin- or genjutsu until you can control your chakra perfectly. But for now...the training went better than I expected, so let's call it a day."

Akiya raised her eyebrows. "We barely did anything," she objected.

Kakashi sighed. "I wouldn't have thought you would be so eager to learn how to kill."

Akiya's face darkened. "I don't like the idea of killing, except for the ones who did this to me - and my family, if this girl belonged to my family at all. I know you are tired, though, so if you want to, I will continue to work alone."

Kakashi sighed again. "Fine...let's grab us something to eat and then we will do some shuriken practice...or, rather, _you _will do some shuriken practice and _I_ will take a break to read my book. Does this sound like a compromise?"

It turned out that Akiya's aim was far from perfect. Unlike the chakra control that had come easy to her, she had big problems when it came to throwing kunai or shuriken, and therefore they kept on practicing for hours. At least she managed not to cut or dismember herself in the process. All in all, taking into consideration that she had never done anything like this before, Kakashi was pleasantly surprised. Akiya had a sharp mind, and even though she probably wouldn't learn as fast as, for example, the Uchiha prodigy, he was positive that she would become a very strong kunoichi in no time.

* * *

The following days they always started the day by working on her target aim and then would continue to improve her chakra control. Akiya made progress quickly. Having internalised Kakashi's memories certainly helped her with the tasks, as she could simply resort to his experiences.

On the fifth day, she noticed the faint chakra signature lingering in the trees next to the training ground the first time. Akiya glanced at Kakashi. Was he not aware of the person watching them? He seemed to be totally at ease, just like always, so Akiya shrugged it off, thinking that maybe she was just imagining things.

Soon she realised she wasn't paranoid – the chakra signature was always there, faintly but perceivable. Every day when they resumed training, the person would follow them and stay until they left. It began to unnerve her. She hated being observed. Therefore, she gladly took advantage of the situation when one day the person ended up hiding exactly behind her targets and threw a kunai directly at him. Had it been the first day, she probably wouldn't even have hit the right tree, but now the person actually had to duck to avoid being hit.

"You might as well come out," Akiya said coolly into his direction. "I know you are there."

Kakashi chuckled behind her back. So he _had_ noticed they were being watched. "Well, otherwise he would be a poor excuse of a ninja, I suppose," she thought. "But why did he pretend this guy wasn't there? Did he know of the orders to keep an eye on us or does he just know this ninja means us no harm?"

"Looks like you are busted, Genma," Kakashi called, and Akiya could see the grin he wore even through his mask.

"Well enough," a calm voice came from between the trees. A tall man dropped from the branches and slowly made their way towards them. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his pants and he seemed to be pretty relaxed. "Cowering in the trees gets kinda uncomfortable when you have to do it several days in a row," he said casually, all the while constantly chewing on something that looked like a chopstick.

Akiya knew she had seen him before. He repeatedly appeared in Kakashi's memories and she knew they were close to each other.

The ninja looked her up and down evenly. "So this is the girl the elders are freaking out about, huh? Doesn't look very dangerous to me," he commented matter-of-factly, yet his words didn't sound dismissive, and neither was his look.

Maybe it was just because his eyes were a very warm shade of brown, Akiya mused. He looked like one of those calm, composed and considerate persons that one would trust easily. Still, she chose to not reply and kept her distance. She still didn't like being around people and this guy was no exception.

"Mind if I stay here? The elders don't need to know I haven't been watching you from a hideout...this is ridiculous anyway, after all. It's not like you weren't aware of me from the start, right, Kakashi?"

"It's hard to miss that someone is watching you if this person happens to be as negligent as you are," Kakashi retorted dryly. "Akiya, this man is Shiranui Genma, an old friend of mine and, as you can see, a shinobi of the leave."

Akiya just nodded shortly. Genma didn't seem to mind her defensive demeanour. "I'm not going to interfere with your training," he informed her, catching her deprecatory attitude. "Just pretend I'm not there."


	6. Of masks and first encounters

*** Chapter 5 ***

_When I see your smile  
The tears run down my face  
I can't replace  
But now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold  
And breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me  
I can be the one_

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

_- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus: Your guardian angel – _

* * *

Pretending Genma wasn't there was exactly what she did during the next weeks while Kakashi taught her how to walk up trees or to stand on water. All the time, Genma just patiently sat next to them and didn't make a sound, except for some bickering with Kakashi at the beginning or end of the training session. Akiya grew used to his presence. Actually, she was pretty glad that he had been the one chosen for this mission, and not one of Kakashi's other friends whom she had met several days ago, namely the "Green beast of Konoha".

Akiya had nearly gotten a heart attack when Gai had suddenly appeared in front of them, challenging his "eternal rival" to a fight and crying waterfalls for almost half an hour when said rival declined. Akiya hadn't thought grown up men could be that ridiculous. And embarrassing. And _annoying_. Of course, she had seen him in Kakashi's mind before, but somehow the whole thing got a lot worse when Gai stood in front of someone in person, with his stupid green spandex, his thumbs-up and his blinking smile.

Akiya shuddered inwardly at the memory – and nearly lost her focus on her chakra. She swayed a little until regaining her balance.

"Are you all right up there?" she heard Kakashi call.

Akiya rolled her eyes. "Of course. It's the greatest thing in the world hanging upside down under a thin rope that's swaying in the wind, about thirty feet above the ground", she shouted sarcastically. Damn, she could almost hear Kakashi and Genma smirk.

"Didn't know you were afraid of heights," Kakashi teased her, and Akiya groaned.

"I'm not!"

During the past weeks, her and Kakashi had gotten pretty close – which was not surprising, considering they were together basically 24/7. He was the only person she trusted, the only one she actually liked being around, the only one she allowed to touch her.

Akiya was still living in his apartment; they had settled this without even talking about it. For him, it had been a matter of course, and she was grateful he didn't kick her out. She was still claustrophobic, especially when it came to sleeping in the rooms. Kakashi's presence was the only thing that calmed her down enough so that she could fall asleep, even though it was an uneasy sleep.

She just felt...safe around him. So safe that she didn't even mind that they were now both sleeping in his bed. First, he had sat on a chair beside her until she fell asleep, but they had found she would wake soon if he left the room to sleep on the couch. Feeling guilty for stealing his bed, Akiya had offered him to share. Somehow the situation hadn't even been awkward. She knew he would never touch her, because he just didn't see her this way.

"You know that if you should fall, I will catch you, don't you? I promise," Kakashi told her simply, and Akiya knew he meant it. Still, she couldn't resist teasing him.

"Right. Just like your promises to be on time, huh?" she shot back and scoffed. "If this promise of yours is as honest as the other ones you gave me, I want to get down here as soon as possible." And without a warning she stopped the chakra flow in her feet.

The air rushed past her and the ground was suddenly not that far away anymore. The blink of an eye later, she was caught by a pair of strong, warm arms.

Kakashi looked at her, visibly shocked. "What the hell was that for?" he inquired brusquely.

"Just checking," Akiya replied casually. And for the first time since she had met him in the forest, the corners of her mouth curled up into a smile.

* * *

"Finally!" Tsunade greeted Genma angrily. "It was about time you showed up to report back. The elders have been bugging me for days now, and I'm itching to tell them something that will shut them up."

Genma shrugged. "There's nothing suspicious about her, if you ask me, but I'll continue to watch her anyway. She's a fast learner, too."

"How is she?"

"She's improving," was Genma's plain answer.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I wasn't talking about her training, baka!"

A smile played around Genma's lips. "Neither was I."

The frown on Tsunade's face disappeared, and she nodded in satisfaction. "That is good to hear. That's really good to hear."

* * *

"Please tell me you are joking," Akiya said blankly.

"No. I'm dead serious." Kakashi grinned at her – obviously he was enjoying himself. "I'm meeting up with Sakura at Ichiraku's at seven for some ramen, and you will accompany me."

"I really thought you knew me better than that," Akiya commented dryly. "I wouldn't set a foot in there for all the money in the world."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Akiya, you need to socialize, and you need some contact to people your age, too."

"I don't need any of that," she replied stubbornly.

"You will like it, I promise."

"Yeah, about as much as driving burning needles into my eyes," Akiya muttered sarcastically under her breath.

Kakashi sent her a scolding look. "I wouldn't have thought you would be such a chicken."

"Who's the chicken, huh? You only want me to tag along because you're afraid of being alone with a touchy, loud and emotional teenage girl for a long time," Akiya shot back. Kakashi pulled a face, and she knew she had hit the mark.

"I'm sure the two of you will get along well," Kakashi tried one last time.

Akiya sighed. She found it hard to refuse Kakashi's request, even though she already knew this evening would turn out to be a disaster. He had done so much for her, so accompanying him should be a matter of course. "Fine." She finally gave in. "I'm coming. But you do realize it's already a quarter to eight, don't you?"

Kakashi grinned. "Of course. I have to sustain the tradition."

Akiya merely rolled her eyes. "Let's get this over with," she said brusquely and stormed out of the apartment.

A few minutes later, they reached the ramen stand. Kakashi entered first. "Yo," he said casually, before giving his trademark excuse. "Sorry I am late, I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life."

"YOU LIAR!" someone screamed at him. Akiya cringed. Just why did this girl have to be so loud?

"You should know by now that Kakashi-sensei is always late, Sakura," someone remarked in a very bored sounding voice.

"He he", Kakashi laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head, something he always did when he didn't know what to do or whenever he felt extremely sheepish. "Guys, I want to introduce you to someone. This," he said, dragging Akiya into the restaurant by her arm, "is Akiya."

Akiya's eyebrows rose at the sight before her. Apparently they weren't only meeting Sakura but also some other members of the Rookie Nine. Akiya tried to match the names in her head with the faces in front of her. Inuzuka Kiba. Nara Shikamaru. Hyuuga Hinata. And a blonde girl, probably Yamanaka Ino.

_Just great._

Kakashi caught her mood. "Be nice," he whispered sternly into her ear. She sent him a menacing glare before composing herself and turning back to the group of teenagers. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said, trying to be polite although she certainly did not think it was a pleasure to be stuck with them for the next few hours.

"Ah right, you're the girl he found in the forest," Sakura said and smiled at her. "So your name is Akiya?"

"It's not my real name," Akiya corrected her tonelessly.

"Oh sorry, I forgot," Sakura said hastily. "But it's a pretty name. How come you chose to use it?"

"I didn't," Akiya said shortly. "Kakashi tried to be creative. _Tried_ being the operative word," she added dryly.

One of the boys – Inuzuka Kiba, if she recalled it correctly – chuckled. "I like this girl," he declared loudly and would have started to pat Akiya's shoulder if she hadn't flinched and shied away from the touch. At least Kiba got the hint and stopped his movement just in time. Still, the situation was kind of awkward. It seemed that Sakura felt obliged to keep the conversation going, for she made another attempt to change the topic, this time addressing her ex-sensei.

"Well, Kakashi-sensei, what have you been up to?"

"Oh, nothing much...missions...and training Akiya, naturally."

Akiya could see a flash of jealousy in Sakura's eyes as the pink haired girl realized how close her sensei and the newcomer were. Kakashi had never spent time training Sakura individually, so she must have gotten the feeling he didn't really care for her, Akiya mused. _"I guess I've just antagonized someone without even doing anything...not that I would suffer the deprivation of her presence..."_

In the course of the next few hours, Akiya learned many things.

_One:_ Hyuuga Hinata was incredibly shy. She pressed the tips of her fingers together whenever she was talking, as if she was afraid she might be saying something stupid, even though Akiya was convinced that the blue haired girl was quite intelligent. She stuttered terribly and was completely oblivious to the fact that Inuzuka Kiba was basically drooling over her.

_Two: _Nara Shikamaru was even lazier than Kakashi. The latter had told her before that the always-complaining chunin had an IQ of over 200, and although he almost slept through the entire meal, Akiya had the feeling that this was true. All in all he was probably the person she would get along with best, because he wouldn't get too close to her.

_Three:_ Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino and Inuzuka Kiba were incredibly _loud_. Akiya got a headache listening to their constant bickering. At least one could say that Sakura and Kiba were genuine, but Ino was just...stupid. Shallow. Akiya disliked her from the beginning and it showed soon that this feeling was mutual, even though Akiya kept silent for 99, 9 percent of the evening.

At some point, Kakashi excused himself to go to the restroom. Immediately, Ino began to babble away. "Kakashi-sensei is really creepy sometimes, don't you think? I mean, why does he always wear this mask? What do you think, Akiya, you know him best, after all?"

"I think that we all wear a mask. His is just visible." Akiya ended the discussion before it had begun.

The situation became unpleasant when Shikamaru, clearly just trying to be polite, asked her whether it wouldn't be convenient if she trained with Ino from time to time, seeing how her kekkei genkai was slightly comparable to the Yamanaka clan hiden.

"Thanks, but I'd rather not," Akiya answered coolly, horrified by the idea of having to spend time with this girl ever again. She was desperately waiting for Kakashi to return from the restroom so that she could finally get out of there.

Ino laughed. "I'm sure she's just too chicken. I would beat her in two seconds!"

"Ino!" Shikamaru hissed.

"What?" the blonde exclaimed. "See, she's got nothing to say to this, so I guess it's true."

"I know a lot of thing I could tell you. Actually, I would love to mentally duel with you, but I don't fight unarmed persons," Akiya replied sarcastically.

"Huh?" Ino stared at her blankly, while Kiba began to roar with laughter and even Shikamaru smirked. "I don't get it."

"That's my point," Akiya replied dryly and got up. "I should get going," she announced and rushed to the door.

Kakashi entered the apartment only minutes after her. "This wasn't so bad, was it, now?" he asked.

Akiya threw him a dirty look. The silver haired jonin sighed. "Alright, alright. I won't force you to come along next time."

"Good," Akiya replied icily. "I wouldn't have come anyway."

"You _really_ should socialize."

"I've got you," Akiya said simply. "Why would I need anyone else?"

Kakashi just sighed again and decided to drop the subject. A moment of silence followed, which was eventually interrupted by the girl. This was unusual – normally he was the one to start a conversation. "Will you ever show me your face?" she asked.

Kakashi was surprised. "You already know how I look without the mask. You have seen it in my memory."

"Yes, but that's not the same. I want _you_ to show it to me by choice. After all, you want me to trust you, but you never show me that you trust me."

Kakashi smiled. "If you wanted to see my face, you should have just asked. Of course you can see it."

Unhesitatingly, he pulled down his mask. Akiya cocked her head and regarded him silently for a while. "Why do you wear it? It's not like you need to hide anything," she inquired.

He shrugged. "A shinobi mustn't show his emotions. When I was a child, I found it easier to conceal them by hiding my face. After that, it became a habit. Plus, it helps to keep away the fangirls."

Akiya chuckled. "I think your fascination for the _Icha Icha_ series would do the job as well...then again, a combination of these two things is probably more efficient."

She only just avoided the pillow aimed at her head.


	7. A quantum of solace

*** Chapter 6 ***

_Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there  
With open arms and open eyes, yeah  
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there  
I'll be there_

_- Incubus: Drive -_

* * *

"Kakashi?"

The copy nin lifted his head as he heard the sound of Akiya's voice behind him. "You've been standing out here in the rain for hours," she said softly. "Don't you want to come in?"

"Not yet," he answered.

The girl sighed and stepped beside him to lay her hand on his arm. "I don't think they will mind if you leave them be for now in order to not catch a terrible cold just before you have to set out for your first mission in months," she told him, her eyes lingering on the black memorial stone in front of them. "Actually, I'm rather sure they would agree with me and tell you to dry yourself off."

Kakashi remained motionless. "It's just that…" he began, but trailed off.

Akiya smiled sadly. "I know," she said simply. "I know."

Hatake Kakashi spent at least two hours at the memorial stone every day. But today was different for it was the anniversary of Rin's and Minato's death. Minato had died seventeen years ago, and Rin, who had ironically passed away the same day her sensei had, had been dead for almost ten years now.

Akiya knew that if she didn't do anything, Kakashi would spend the entire day by the memorial stone. She stayed by his side for a few minutes, and then grabbed his hand. "Come," she said gently and lead him back to their apartment.

When Kakashi stepped out of the bathroom after taking the hot shower Akiya had basically forced on him, said girl was standing in the kitchen, making some tea. He stopped and leaned on the doorframe to watch her.

Almost a year had passed since he had found her in the forest. Physically, there was not much left that would remind anyone of the half-dead, famished child he had found. Akiya was now seventeen (or at least so they thought), and her outward appearance had changed a lot since back then. Only a few faint scars were left of the wounds that had been inflicted upon her then. Despite that, only her mesmerizing eyes and the colour of her hair had remained.

She had let her hair grow, though, and now it fell down to her shoulder blades in soft waves. Her body had changed, too – she was still slender, yet she had become muscular due to the months of hard training. During the past year, Akiya had developed female curves, too, but since she constantly hid them under long black pants and wide black sweatshirts no one was really aware of that.

Akiya had kept on pushing herself to the limits all the time. As soon as Kakashi had allowed her to start with taijutsu training, she had started with a tough workout, nearly exhausting herself more than just once. In vain he had tried to slow her down. Fortunately, it hadn't done her any damage. She had just been eager to absorb everything, and he hadn't been able to scold her for it.

Kakashi thought back to their early training sessions. Once Akiya had grasped the subtleties of chakra control they had started with nin- and genjutsu. And while she had had to work extremely hard to reach a high level in taijutsu, ninjutsu had come easy to her.

They had found that her kekkei genkai was extremely helpful when it came to learning new jutsus, for ninjutsus had a lot to do with feeling how to do it right. So whenever Kakashi had wanted to teach her a new jutsu, he had made her look at his memory first to feel and see how it was done correctly. She then mimicked and imitated his actions, and was soon able to perform the jutsu perfectly. Kakashi had heard that some of the ninjas had referred to this as "copying", but the two of them knew that her abilities had nothing to in common with his sharingan at all.

Her abilities were impressive, though. Over the weeks, she had constantly worked on improving her skills with them. She was now not only able to control when to read someone's memories or to show her memories to others, she had also learned to filter minds for special information.

Furthermore, she was currently expanding the limits of her kekkei genkai even more. First she had only been able to see pictures, hear sounds and sense emotions, but now she had started to work on hearing people's thoughts as well. She hadn't perfected that one yet, but Kakashi was sure she would be able to handle it in no time.

The only flaw in her skills was genjutsu – which was strange, as people would usually put her kekkei genkai into the genjutsu category. Still, she had problems casting them. At least she was able to detect and release them, but despite that, genjutsu remained her weakness no matter how hard she worked on it. So lately she had decided she was fine with tai- and ninjutsu and weapons, and would therefore reduce her genjutsu work.

Yes, she had indeed become a strong kunoichi. Or rather, she would have been a good kunoichi, but since the elders were still treating her with suspicion and disdain, it was highly unlikely that she would ever work as a ninja. Akiya didn't mind, though. Killing people wasn't exactly her top priority – on the contrary, Kakashi usually had had to encourage her not to be so hesitant to strike.

She would have been happy with being allowed leaving the village to search for her past. He knew she was itching to find out who she was, where she came from and whether she still had any relatives. And she desperately wanted to find the persons who had tortured her and killed the person that had most likely been her sister.

Up until now, the elders had refused to let her go, and Akiya had never questioned their decision, yet Kakashi suspected it was only a matter of time until she began to rebel against them.

Her character, on the other hand, hadn't changed at all, he mused. She was still secretive, quiet and reserved, terribly sarcastic and aloof, and preferred to be left alone. Akiya liked to blend in, to stay unnoticed by most of the people who surrounded her.

Only to him had she opened up – when they were alone, she was able to show a side the others never got to see. The few villagers who knew her considered her to be a cold, indifferent and emotionless, yet always polite woman, but Kakashi knew better; deep inside, Akiya was extremely vulnerable. There was a soft side to her; she had just chosen not to show it in order not to get hurt.

She hadn't even been able to let Genma in, even though he still observed their training sessions every day (or most of the days, to be precise, because Genma was assigned other missions as well). Kakashi knew that she respected the jonin and held him in high esteem, but still she hardly ever spoke to him. Actually, she hardly spoke at all, unless it was absolutely necessary or when she just felt like it.

Kakashi couldn't help but think that they were more alike than anyone would think. And sometimes they knew each other better than it was good.

* * *

Akiya examined Kakashi thoughtfully. He had been staring into space several minutes now. She wondered what he was thinking about, but she was discreet enough not to mess with his mind. She could read him easily enough anyway.

With a sigh, she got up, pressed one of the tea mugs into his hand and shoved him onto the nearest chair. Finally, he woke from his trance.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I know I'm terrible when I'm depressed like this...one could get the impression you have to take care of me like you would take care of a sick puppy."

"Don't worry about it," she waved it off. "It's not like I don't understand it, right?"

After all, Akiya had felt his loss just as utterly as he had. She knew that he missed his best friend, Obito, and his sensei Minato. But most of all, he missed Rin. The ever gentle, ever caring, ever smiling Rin. He had loved her much more than he had ever admitted, and maybe that was another reason why he felt so bad when thinking about his former teammate. They could have been happy. Maybe, if he had ever confessed his feelings for her, she might not have accepted this one fatal mission. Or maybe, just maybe he would have been able to save her.

Akiya knew she could never ever replace Rin. She didn't want to, and he didn't want her to, either. The bond she shared with Kakashi was completely different to the one he had had with Rin.

With a sigh, Akiya hopped onto the kitchen counter and let her legs dangle. She wouldn't ever tell him, but she hated to see him like this. In a way, it hurt her, too, because his pain was so obvious that it was impossible for her not to feel it. She hated that she was so utterly helpless when it came to that. She could only try to comfort him and ease his pain by being there for him. But it seemed that at the moment this wasn't enough.

Kakashi continued staring into nothingness. After a while he got up and walked over to her to pour his neglected and already cold cup of tea into the sink. "I'd better go and prepare for tomorrow's mission", he declared gravely.

Akiya regarded him with a sad smile and stretched her arm to reach for him. "Come here", she commanded softly, and he moved to stay in front of her. Acting on instinct, Akiya took his face between her hands and kissed him.

She could sense his surprise and his hesitation, but after a moment he closed his eyes and she felt his lips, as always hidden by his mask, move against hers. There was no lust or desire in their kiss, only desperation and the need for comfort. They both knew it wasn't her Kakashi was thinking about right now; it was Rin who occupied his mind, and Akiya knew he was pretending to be kissing his long-dead love, not his best friend. Yet this kiss was the only solace she could give him.

A few seconds later, he pulled away and let Akiya wrap her arms around him. He buried his face in her shoulder as he cried soundlessly for all the ones he had lost. And all the time, Akiya held him, just like he had held her when she had been broken.


	8. Rescue mission

*** Chapter 7 ***

_Northern downpour sends its love...  
Hey moon, please forget to fall down  
Hey moon, don't you go down_

_- Panic! At the disco: Northern downpour –_

_

* * *

_

It had been the first mission of several days' duration that Kakashi had been assigned to ever since he had found Akiya. In the course of the past months, he had completed some shorter missions that would allow him to be back at nightfall. Kakashi knew that Akiya still wasn't able to sleep indoors when she was alone, so every time he went away she either stayed awake or camped outside (which was _not_ a good idea in winter), so leaving her alone made him jumpy, too.

This mission, however, required total concentration. It was a high A-rank mission, which was why a team consisting solely of jonin had been assigned to the task.

Kakashi had been paired up with Sarutobi Asuma, Mitarashi Anko and Maito Gai. Provident as always, Akiya had slipped a pair of earplugs into his pockets when they had parted. Kakashi had grinned when he had found them. Her sense of humour was just unbeatable. Still, he knew he wouldn't need them – he was an expert when it came to ignoring both his self-declared "eternal rival" and the loud-mouthed, obnoxious female. And they weren't _that_ bad after all.

The mission scroll had let the mission sound easy: escort one of the highest nobles of the fire country safely to the palace of the daimyo, and, when being there, sneaking into one of the counsellor's room in order to confirm the man was not a spy. The task had come directly from the daimyo, which was why it was classified A-rank – all in all, it shouldn't take longer than a week and should go flawlessly and easy.

Or at least so they had thought. They had _not_ expected to be attacked on the way. Not by nearly twenty shinobi, anyway. So when they walked right into the ambush and the first kunai came flying towards them, there was not much they could still do.

* * *

Akiya was restless.

She had been pacing up and down in Kakashi's apartment for hours now, only stopping to stare out of the window, drumming her fingers on the windowsill and then resume pacing back and forth.

It had been like this for the last three days. Kakashi and his team were late a grand total of three days. Three. Fucking. Days.

So how could she not be worried?

It was normal for Kakashi to be some hours late, maybe even a day. But three days? No. Especially not when he had Anko and Gai with him. Something had happened, of that Akiya was sure. And the worst thing was sitting here, not knowing what was going on and not being able to do anything.

Again, Akiya stopped at the window to look outside. The sun was already setting. Another day had passed without any notice. Akiya made her decision at once – there was no way in hell that she would sit around doing nothing anymore. She quickly grabbed a jacket, put on her shoes and made her way to the Hokage tower.

Akiya knocked on the door impatiently and entered as soon as she heard Tsunade's voice telling her to come in. Closing the door behind here, she saw that she wasn't the only one in the Hokage's office. Genma was there, too, along with some other shinobi, all of them wearing jonin clothing, so it was pretty obvious that this meeting was about something important.

From the look on Tsunade's face, Akiya could tell that this was about Kakashi, so she crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at the woman defiantly, thus telling her she would definitely not leave the room until she knew what was going on. Tsunade frowned at her behaviour, but let her stay. Without acknowledging her presence, she continued to question her shinobi.

The Hokage had sent out a reconnaissance squat for Kakashi's team, Akiya soon realized.

"There has unmistakingly been some fighting going on," one of the shinobi reported. "We found trails of blood leading towards some caves in the north of fire country, so it is likely that they are being held captive there. Whoever our opponents are, they guard their hideout with great care, which would make an attack highly difficult, as well as the general topographic characteristics of this area. Furthermore, they will probably outnumber us..." The shinobi paused, before adding: "I don't think we will be able to get them out of there."

"_What?"_ Akiya's outraged voice broke the silence following his words. "You want to leave them in the hands of our enemies?"

"I cannot risk losing more shinobi on a retrieval mission," Tsunade said gravely. "Especially if we don't know whether the four of them are still alive. No, I cannot send anyone. We run short of shinobi already, I cannot afford to lose more of them."

"You will just sit here doing nothing and let your best shinobi be killed just like that?" Akiya couldn't believe Tsunade could be so calm about this. She couldn't believe _Genma_, who called Kakashi a friend, could be so calm and composed.

"Enough!" Tsunade snapped. "I will not let my shinobi throw their lives away for a lost cause!"

Akiya shook her head in disbelief. "You cannot be serious."

But the look on Tsunade's face showed that the woman couldn't be more serious.

* * *

Hastily, Akiya threw random weapons and ninja tools into her bag, closed it and jumped out of the window. Her plan was to climb the city wall near the training grounds, so that no one would realize she was leaving the village without permission, so she ran into the direction as fast as possible.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The familiar voice made Akiya stop short. She turned around to see Genma standing there, leaning against a wall, his hands as always stuffed in his pockets and the obligatory senbon between his lips. She glared at him.

"Unlike you, I am not going to let Kakashi there to die," she hissed.

"Who ever said I wanted to leave him rot there?" the jonin replied. "But _you_ certainly can't save him alone. Furthermore, Kakashi would _kill_ me if I let you go out there alone. He told me to follow every step you take and make sure you don't get into trouble, and that's exactly what I intent to do right now. You know, action speaks louder than words."

Akiya's eyes widened as realization dawned on her. So he hadn't followed her to stop her, but to accompany her.

"We need a team," Genma continued. "After all, we have to assume that they are injured and that we have to carry them back to Konoha and even I can't carry two tall shinobi all the way back home. Furthermore, we don't know the exact location of the hideout, so we need someone who would be able to find this quickly..."

"...and they should have a personal interest in freeing them, so that they don't give our plan to leave the village illegally away," Akiya added.

Genma nodded, satisfied with her quick receptiveness.

"Nara Shikamaru used to be in Asuma's genin team, and as far as I know, they are very close," Akiya mused.

"He would be a good choice," Genma agreed. "And it comes in handy that Gai used to have a Hyuuga on his team. I'll go fetch Hyuuga Neji; you search for the Nara kid. We'll meet up here in fifteen minutes."

* * *

"Can you see anything?" Genma asked Neji quietly.

"Hai. The entrance of the hideout is being guarded by two men. There are five more in the first corridor," Neji replied. He and Shikamaru hadn't hesitated a second when Akiya and Genma had asked them to accompany them on the rescue mission. They had travelled fast and were now cowering in the trees close to the enemy hideout.

"Any sign of Asuma and the others?"

Neji continued to search. "I found them! They are in a room underground, at the end of the caves."

"Good. Shikamaru, Neji, you eliminate the guards. Try making no sound, though, we don't want to have a bunch of rogues behind us when we get out of there. If they managed to defeat the four of them, they must be very skilled in fighting. Akiya and I go in first, you follow us. Understood?"

"Hai!"

Genma and Akiya stayed behind while Shikamaru and Neji moved closer to the entrance.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

Genma smiled a tiny smile. "I suppose that's a yes." He turned his head to watch how their teammates took care of the guards. Akiya flinched as she saw the first body drop to the ground. Of course, Genma noticed it.

"Are you ready to kill, too?"

Akiya's determination didn't waver. "If I have to."

Genma examined her for a moment, and then nodded. "All right. We go in now."

They moved with caution, trying to make the least sound possible. The ground was extremely uneven, which caused Akiya to almost stumble once or twice. Only a few minutes later Shikamaru and Neji joined them. Akiya tried not to look at the bloodstains on their clothes. She didn't mind blood in general, but the thought that it belonged to men who had only seconds before been alive and breathing made her shudder.

Moving through the dark caves made her heartbeat begin to rush. She could already feel the harbingers of her claustrophobia coming and desperately tried to restrain herself from hyperventilating. Akiya swallowed hard and sternly told herself to ignore her fear. She focused solely on her task, focused on the thought that she was doing this for Kakashi, and somehow this gave her the strength to go on.

"To the right," Neji announced in a muffled voice, and really, Akiya could feel a familiar chakra signature lingering behind the walls. Akiya rushed forward and quickly opened the door.

Kakashi's head perked up as he heard the door squeak. His eyes widened when he caught sight of the leaf shinobi entering the room.

"What the-" he breathed.

Akiya quickly drew a kunai to cut the ropes that tied him to the wall. Kakashi's knees buckled when they suddenly had to carry the entire weight of his body again, and he slumped forward. Akiya caught his arm before he hit the ground and gave him a scrutinizing look. He had several cuts and bruises, but didn't seem to be severely injured.

"Are you okay?" she asked, nonetheless worried about his condition. His chakra was definitely very low, and she wasn't sure he would make it out of the hideout without passing out.

Kakashi nodded weakly. "Did the Hokage send you?"

"No. We're here on our own accord," Genma answered before Akiya could even open her mouth. He and the others had freed the rest of Kakashi's team in the meantime. Gai seemed to be in the worst state – he couldn't walk without staggering, and Anko...well, she had been knocked out, but despite that didn't have any further injuries.

"You left the village without permission?" Asuma, who was also panting heavily and leaning on Shikamaru's shoulder, asked. "Are you out of your mind? Do you know what consequences –"

"I will take the full responsibility for that," Genma interrupted him brusquely. "Now let's get out of here! We-"

Genma never finished his sentence as a kunai whooshed through the air and only missed him by centimetres.

"Shit," he cursed and flung a bunch of senbon in the direction of the adversary shinobi who was now blocking the door, and with it their only way out. His opponent blocked the senbon with ease and promptly started his counter attack. Genma had to let Anko drop to the ground in order to dodge the attack and defend himself. Soon he completely wrapped up in his fight, struggling to get the upper hand. He had been right not to underestimate their enemies. After all, Genma was one of the leaves' most skilled shinobi, and if even he had problems defeating this man, he must have been really strong, Akiya thought.

She knew they didn't have time for this. The longer this fight would go on, the more like it was that the noise they made would alarm the others and they really couldn't afford a fight right now, not if they had to carry four injured ninjas!

"Shikamaru-san!", she called, and he understood what she wanted to say at once. Seconds later, Genma's opponent was caught in his Kagemane no Jutsu, and the former took the advantage of the situation by knocking him out.

"Out. _Now_!" Genma barked, lifted Anko up and shooed them out of the room.

They hastened through the narrow corridors, each of them supporting or carrying one of their wounded comrades. They could already see the light that fell through the entrance when all of a sudden another shinobi appeared in front of them and darted towards them, targeting on Kakashi.

This time, Akiya was the one to react first. Her kunai flew through the air and hit the man in the middle of his forehead. His eyes turned back in his head as he dropped to the ground lifelessly.

She stared at the dead body for a moment, shocked by what she had just done. Then Genma yanked at her arm, thus snapping her out of her trance. "_Out of here,_" he commanded again, and Akiya flung her arm around Kakashi's waist once more, dragging him towards the exit before anyone else could step in their way again.

* * *

They set up a camp as soon as they felt they were far enough away from the enemy hideout to bandage the four jonin up. When Genma had checked on Anko he strolled over to Akiya and Kakashi, who was now fast asleep. Akiya was sitting next to his unconscious body, her eyes never leaving his face.

Genma kneeled beside her. "You really love him, don't you?"

Akiya turned her head to look at him. "Of course I do."

The jonin cleared his throat. "You do realize, though, that this is...well...that this could never..."

For the first time since Akiya knew him, the man was at a loss of words, but still she understood what he wanted to say. "It's not like that, Genma," she said, shaking her head. "I'm ten more than ten years his junior, of course he doesn't see me this way. Kakashi may be reading perverted book, but that doesn't automatically make him a paedophile."

"I know he doesn't see you this way. But what about you? After all, you wouldn't be the first girl to fall in love with him."

Akiya smiled. "I _do _love him. How could I not? Kakashi is the one who has always been there for me, whatever has happened. He is my anchor, the one constant in my life. He's everything I hold on to. But, like I said before, it's not like that between us. He's just...my best friend. And I don't know how I could live without him."


	9. To take a life

*** Chapter 8 ***

_If you take a life do you know what you'll give  
Odds are you won't like what it is  
When the storm arrives would you be seen with me  
by the merciless eyes of deceit?_

_I've seen angels fall from blinding heights  
But you yourself or nothing so divine...  
Just next in line_

_Try to hide your hand, forget how to feel  
Life is gone with just a spin of the wheel_

_Arm yourself because no one else here will save you  
The odds will betray you  
And I will replace you  
You can't deny the price it may never fulfil you  
It longs to kill you  
Are you willing to die  
The coldest blood runs through my veins  
You know my name..._

_- Chris Cornell: You know my name -_

* * *

When they finally reached the gates of Konoha, a fuming Tsunade was already awaiting them. Some of the guards that were positioned in the forest had reported their arrival.

"Do you even have the _slightest_ idea what you did?" she hissed. ""You didn't only leave the village without permission – you defied both mine _and_ the elders' orders. You risked your life and might even have endangered Konoha by departing on this self-assigned mission_. And,_" she paused, making the silence hang in the air threatening, before a small smile crept on her face "you just saved four of my best shinobi. Congratulations. You did a great job."

Akiya raised one eyebrow. This woman had serious mood swings.

"Now, get them to the hospital," she ordered. "I'll deal with you and the elders subsequently. I expect you to report at my office in half an hours; be prepared to face the elders' wrath," Tsunade warned them.

"What a drag," Shikamaru sighed, whilst Genma, Akiya and Neji remained unfazed.

"You can be glad _I_ didn't kick your ass, Nara, so stop whining!" Tsunade shouted, causing the lazy chunin to back away and making haste to get to the hospital, all the while muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "_troublesome woman_".

Akiya hated leaving Kakashi behind, even though she knew he was taken care of well; Sakura, who had become Tsunade's apprentice, personally took charge of his medical care.

"Don't worry about me – I'll be out of here in no time," he had reassured her, and with a laugh had added: "You take care of yourself. Don't let the elders rip your head off."

It really looked like the elders would have wanted nothing more but to rip their head off –Akiya's in particular. Akiya had no idea why they hated her so much, but frankly, she didn't care.

Indifferently, she waited until the elders had finished screaming at them. Genma, Neji and Shikamaru were pretty unimpressed, too, which was probably due to the fact that the elders looked rather ridiculous instead of threatening right now.

In the end, Tsunade interrupted the elders' rant. "I think that's enough for the moment – I'd like to postpone the decision on how we should punish them. What I am interested in now is of more importance: Who were these shinobi, where did they come from and what exactly was their purpose?"

"They were from the sound," Neji answered.

This caught everyone by surprise, even Akiya, who had do admit that she had been too wrapped up in her thoughts on her task to notice the shinobi's hitai-ates.

"From sound?" elder Homura repeated, completely taken aback. "What were they trying to achieve by abducting one of our squads?"

"From what Asuma told us, we think that they were most likely trying to gather information on the village. He said that they wanted him to tell them everything they knew about Konoha and its defenses, but we cannot really figure out their intentions from that," Genma said.

Tsunade propped her head on her folded hands and frowned. "This is some alarming information. From all we know Orochimaru could be plotting against Konoha again."

"This is definitely unsettling," elder Koharu agreed. "You should strengthen our defenses and increase the number of shinobi investigating in this matter."

"I know what I must do," Tsunade snapped angrily, thus putting an end to the discussion. "Now, moving on...I know you won't like this, but I know I need every shinobi available to defend this village and keep the business running. Therefore, I will declare Akiya genin."

_"What?"_

Tsunade silenced the elders before they could begin another rant. "Like I said, you won't like it, but I don't care. I need neither your approval nor your permission, and I will not ask for it. She has proven her skills, I think, and her determination to protect the ones close to her, and that qualifies her for the job."

"She left the village without permission!" elder Homura argued.

"And she returned. I think that's enough proof of her loyalty."

"She has no team – she cannot work as a kunoichi."

"Yes, she can. I will place her in ANBU."

"WHAT?"

"You cannot do this! Don't you see how dangerous this might be if she was a spy?"

Tsunade slammed her fist onto her desk. "Enough of that! She has been living in this village for a year now, without ever raising suspicions. Had she been a spy, she would have left the village long ago – she could have gathered the information needed in less than a week! _I_ see how incredibly stupid it would be to_ not_ utilize her abilities. Don't you see how great an advantage they are for this village? In this matter you are right; her abilities make her the perfect spy. She wouldn't need as long as others to get the information, and she wouldn't have to put her life at risk as others do. We all know that being a spy is one of the most dangerous jobs, even for a shinobi, because most of them get killed eventually when being exposed. But Akiya...she could simply look at their memories and know what is going on. Those kinds of missions are usually assigned to ANBU anyway, which is why this is the best department to place her in."

"Stop!" Akiya raised her voice angrily. "I refuse to let you talk about me as if I am some kind of tool and not a human being! Do I not get a say in this?"

Everyone looked at her, stunned.

"I object to being made an object of your hassle."

"So you do not want to serve this village by becoming a kunoichi?" elder Koharu asked icily. Apparently, Tsunade's little speech had impressed her and elder Homura, for they didn't voice any further arguments against Akiya.

"Yes. No. I...I don't know. I mean...Kakashi always told me that ninja fight to protect those who cannot protect themselves, like civilians and children...and I would happily do that. But I don't want to fight. I don't want to kill. I...I don't want to become a murderer."

"Is this really all you think we are?" Genma asked quietly. "Murderers?"

"Are you not?" Akiya asked back.

No one answered – it was a rhetorical question. They all knew they were murderers, but none of them killed because it brought them pleasure.

Akiya sighed. "Of course this is not all I see in you. I know most of you are good people. I am just afraid that...that it will change me. That I will not recognize myself anymore. The human mind is easily corrupted, and for those who fly high it is very easy to fall."

"You would not have to kill very often", Tsunade told her after a slight pause. "The missions I will assign to you will be mostly about information gathering, so if you do your job correctly, there won't be any killing involved." She gave the young woman a scrutinizing look. "What do you think?"

Akiya still hesitated. "Can I think about it?"

"Why certainly! I cannot give you much time, though. Confide me on your decision within three days. And Akiya!" Tsunade called after her, seeing that Akiya was already halfway out the door. "Take into consideration that you will be travelling a lot, and to a variety of places. Maybe when being in a familiar area, your memory might come back."

.

Three days later, Akiya got her ANBU tattoo on her right shoulder.

* * *

Sometimes Akiya regretted her decision. "Sometimes" was almost every day.

"_Just why didn't I listen to Genma's and Kakashi's warnings?"_ she asked herself again and again. She should have known better. After all, both of them had been in ANBU and had decided to quit, and they had had their reasons and hadn't just made this decision out of the blue sky. They had vehemently opposed the idea, but in the end, Akiya had ignored them, and they had had to admit that it was her decision, her life. She was old enough to know what she was doing.

Or maybe in this case she hadn't been.

If it hadn't been for Tsunade's last comment, she would have declined the offer.

Of course she had felt bad for not working before. She had hated living on Kakashi's expense, not being able to earn her own living. Sure enough, Kakashi earned more than enough to feed the two of them, but Akiya had still felt guilty for not giving anything in return. Finally having a job of her own had been another reason for accepting the post, but it had been a minor one. Her main reason had been the opportunity to regain her memory.

Yet, she had travelled many countries, and her mind was still blank when she tried to remember things that had passed before Kakashi had found her. For more than a year she had worked in ANBU, had travelled around, but there was still nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Akiya was becoming increasingly frustrated. She didn't blame Tsunade, though – the Hokage had tried to help her and the village at the same time. It had been a good idea that a familiar sight might shatter the blockade in her mind, but until now, it hadn't worked.

"_Are you sure it's worth it?"_ Kakashi had asked. Back then, Akiya had nodded. But now she wasn't so sure anymore.

Contrary to what Tsunade had promised her, some of her missions _did_ involve a lot of killing. It also involved a lot of memories of completely fucked up and sadistic minds, and Akiya particularly hated the fact that she couldn't ever forget those memories. For a while, she had feared that those thoughts would rub off on her, but luckily her fears had proven to be unsubstantiated. She was still herself – the only difference was that she, too, was now a murderer.

Akiya could never really come to terms with this side of her.

"_Are you sure it's worth it?"_

Akiya snapped out of her train of thoughts as she heard heavy footsteps approaching and out of habit reached to grab the amulet she wore around her neck. Kakashi had given the dark green, tear-shape stone to her the day she had departed on her first mission.

"_This is a chakra–storing stone"_, he had said_. "They are very rare, so take good care of it. Whenever you can spare some chakra, store it in here. You will be able to unlock the seal and release the extra strength when you are running low on chakra."_

Carrying the amulet had saved her life more than just once. Since, unlike most ANBU, she was usually working alone, she as good as never had a team to back her up whenever she was injured or depleted of chakra.

To top it off, a vast number of her missions were extremely dangerous, and there had even been one that others would have classified as a suicide mission. Akiya knew she was strong, but she was also fully aware of the fact that she would have never made it out of there alive had she not been in the possession of the chakra stone. Even so, she had been severely injured and had had to be hospitalized for over a month. She had hated it with a passion. Ever since, she had been trying to catch on a few medical ninjutsu to be able to heal herself as good as possible, for she still couldn't stand the touch of strangers.

Akiya cowered on a thick branch and remained motionless until the footsteps grew near enough for her to strike. No information gathering this time – this was going to be a simple assassination. _"Nice, quick and clean"_, as the Hokage had phrased it.

She waited patiently for the right moment. The man – a drug and arms dealer – passed, and in an instant she was behind him, a kunai in her head. He didn't even have the time to flinch before she cut his throat. Not bothering to be gentle, she let his body drop to the ground and began to search him for the item Tsunade wanted to seize. Not for the first time she was grateful for the porcelain mask she wore on missions like those – she didn't feel as stained when the blood of her victims was splattered upon it and not all over her real face.

Still, she could never completely ignore the pang of remorse those missions caused.


	10. Arguments and discoveries

*** Chapter 9 ***

_There's another world inside of me  
That you may never see  
There're secrets in this life that I can't hide  
Well somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find  
Maybe it's too far away…  
Or maybe I'm just blind_

_So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong  
Hold me when I'm scared, and love me when I'm gone  
Everything I am and everything in me  
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be  
I'll never let you down even if I could  
I'd give up everything, if only for your good  
So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
You won't always be there  
So love me when I'm gone…_

_- 3 Doors Down: When I'm gone – _

* * *

Genma impatiently hammered on the door to Kakashi's and Akiya's apartment. The door flew open, and he found himself facing a very tired looking Akiya. Her hair resembled a haystack, so Genma figured she had just gotten out of bed.

"Geez, Genma, don't you have a life?" she groaned. "It's seven a.m.! Must you bother me this early in the morning?"

Genma chuckled. "Nice to see you too, Akiya."

With a sigh, Akiya opened the door to let him step in, thus allowing him to look at her thoroughly. Genma had problems restraining his jaw from dropping down to the floor; he was used to seeing Akiya in her wide black sweatshirts and pants that hid basically every part of her body; he was used to seeing her in ANBU clothing.

He was_ not_ used to seeing her in a pair of boxer shorts and one of Kakashi's old T-Shirts. Genma could positively say that he had never seen her with little clothing. And he had to admit it was probably the first time that he realized she had grown up to be a woman in those two years that she had spent in Konoha.

"You could show some more enthusiasm that I dropped by to visit you," Genma accused her.

Akiya rolled her eyes. "Did you really come to visit Kakashi and me, or did you come to visit our fridge, which is, unlike yours, not always empty?" she asked dryly.

"Hey!" Genma exclaimed. "There _is_ something in my fridge!"

"Sure," Akiya replied sarcastically. "Let me guess – whatever little contains may still be in your fridge could already be come running towards you because they're all mouldy."

"Uhm..well...yes."

"You are absolutely hopeless," Akiya informed him with a sigh. "Well, go on, make yourself at home. You basically live in our apartment anyway – one could think you didn't have your own one."

It was true, Genma had to admit. He almost spent more time at their apartment than at his own. Ever since they had rescued Kakashi together, Akiya's attitude towards him had changed completely. They weren't as close as she was with Kakashi, of course, but she had finally given up her defensive demeanour and had loosened up remarkably. Normally, Akiya wouldn't talk much, and when she said something, she would usually come straight down to the point without wasting any breath, but he even got her to joke around with him from time to time. So whenever the three of them were in town at the same time, they were basically inseparable now.

"When did you come back?" Genma took two glasses out of the cupboard, poured some water into them and handed one to Akiya.

Akiya glanced at the watch hanging over the kitchen table. "About three hours ago. So, yes, you should really be sorry for waking me. And yes, I accept your apologies."

Genma chuckled. Even when not using her kekkei genkai, Akiya was good at reading people and predict their next moves. He guessed that this was due to the fact that she observed conservations much more than she took part in them and now had a lot of experience when it came to judging people.

"Glad to hear that."

His eyes fell onto the pile of clothes that had carelessly been thrown on the floor. Usually, Akiya liked it if the rooms were clean and tidy. Genma often teased her about being obsessed with orderliness. Letting the clothes drop on the floor was not like her. His eyebrows rose as he noticed the blood that was splattered all over the fabric.

Akiya followed his gaze. "Don't worry about it," she said. "That's not _my_ blood. At least most of it isn't."

Yes, she definitely always got straight to the point.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No, I'd rather not." She shifted in her chair until she had found a comfortable position. "Why don't you fill me in on what has happened while I was away?"

"Sure. Do you want to hear the gossip or the more serious news?"

Akiya unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn. "I don't really care; I just want you to keep me awake. But the serious news is more important, I reckon, so you should begin with them – I don't want to doze off and miss the relevant parts."

"Fine. Well..." Genma frowned, trying to remember what could be interesting for her. "The preparations for the chunin exams are almost finished. You missed Temari by a few days; she was over to organize them with Shikamaru."

"Really? Now that's a shame...I haven't seen her in a while," Akiya mused.

Genma shook his head. "I still don't understand how you can get along with this obnoxious woman," he noted.

Akiya had few friends, and she didn't mind that. To be precise, she only ever called him and Kakashi "friends". When she wasn't on missions, she hardly ever talked to anyone except for Neji and Shikamaru, whom she highly respected since their first mission, but for some reason she had taken a liking in the loud-mouthed and overbearing Suna-nin.

"She has a different side as well. You can ask Shikamaru about that, too," Akiya added with a slightly amused tone. "However, what I would have liked to know first is: Where is Kakashi?"

Genma was surprised. "You don't know that?"

"Would I be asking if I did?"

"You've got a point, I guess. He reunited with the former team seven. Uzumaki Naruto returned a couple of days ago, and after Kakashi tested him and Haruno Sakura, they decided they would team up again for future missions."

"I see." Akiya nodded thoughtfully. "So they are on a mission right now?"

Genma sighed. "I should have known you wouldn't have heard of that one, either. The Kazekage has been kidnapped by members of the Akatsuki. Team Kakashi and Team Gai have been sent to Suna in order to rescue him."

"The Akatsuki?" Akiya repeated. "This is bad..."

Genma just nodded solemnly. What else could he have said?

* * *

"I cannot believe I am still trapped in here," Kakashi sighed heavily.

"It's your own fault – I told you using the Mangekyou Sharingan wasn't the smartest thing to do. You knew it would deplete your chakra and that you should avoid using it at all costs." There was no pity in Akiya's voice. "And be honest, we all know that you don't really mind being pampered and coddled up in here – what you really mind is not being able to be with your team now that they might be meeting Sasuke."

"Of course this is bothering me! We all want to bring Sasuke back."

Akiya sighed. "Has the thought ever occurred to you that maybe he doesn't want to be brought back? He knew what he was doing when he left the village and joined Orochimaru, and I really doubt you can change his mind."

"I disagree. He did _not_ know what he was doing."

"Nevertheless, he made his choice. Maybe you should begin to accept this. There are more important matters this village has to focus on right now. The Akatsuki pose a greater threat to Konoha than your ex-student."

"The problem is not that he poses he threat to Konoha, the problem is that he poses a threat to himself," Kakashi commented.

"Kakashi, Sasuke is what...eighteen now? He is a big boy, he can watch over himself."

The copy-nin didn't bother to answer back. "Could you still do me a favour? Seek out Tsunade-sama and ask her whether they have returned or not – and if they have, tell me everything you can find out!"

* * *

Akiya reached the Hokage's office just before Team Kakashi, which had indeed returned from their mission, had finished their mission report.

"Come in," Tsunade's harsh voice commanded as she knocked the door. "Akiya, what is it?"

"Kakashi is having a nervous fit and can't wait to hear the news," Akiya stated dryly and looked about the room. "No Uchiha, as I see?"

"No. He refused to return with us. Actually, he even made an attempt to kill Naruto," Yamato informed her.

"Why doesn't this surprise me?" Akiya mumbled. "Would you mind showing me what has happened?" she asked Yamato. "It's quickest this way and Kakashi won't think I kept something from him."

The ANBU threw a glance at the Hokage, asking for her permission. Tsunade nodded, and Yamato turned to look at Akiya. This wasn't the first time they did this – they had worked together before, so he knew it was easier for her if he concentrated on the memory.

Akiya activated her kekkei genkai, and instantly images began to rush through her head. She saw the long, dark corridors, the blinding light when they stepped outside, saw how a black haired ninja, whom she knew only from Kakashi's memories and the team picture on his desk, attacked Naruto.

And then a person who could only be Orochimaru appeared.

Akiya froze. She had seen this face before. She had heard his _voice_ before. All of a sudden, other memories that not belonged to Yamato flooded her mind. It was the scene that always played part in her nightmares. Only that now she could recognize the face in the darkness.

Orochimaru.

Akiya felt herself swaying.

"Are you all right?" Yamato asked her in a worried tone.

"Yes. Yes," Akiya said hastily. "I was...just lost in thoughts. I think I've got everything, so if you would excuse me now..."

With these words, Akiya practically fled from Tsunade's office. In a deserted corridor, she stopped and supported herself on the wall, trying to figure out what had just happened. It seemed that Tsunade had been right to a point – seeing something familiar – a familiar face, in this case – had brought some of her memories back. It had been her memories, of that she was sure. Orochimaru had been the one who had held her captive. Who had tortured her. Who had killed someone who had most likely been her sister. Who had...

Akiya tried to slow her breathing and closed her eyes, grateful for the coolness of the wall behind her. Finally she knew where she had to go if she wanted answers.

But how was she going to do it?

* * *

Akiya's chance came a few days later, and she jumped at it without hesitation. Some other spies from Konoha had reported that there was a reasonable suspicion that Orochimaru wanted to against Konohagakure again. They had also received information about a possible hideout of Orochimaru and his followers.

What Konoha needed right now was a spy in Orochimaru's ranks. A person who could give them valuable and reliable information on what he was plotting.

Akiya had volunteered at once. Tsunade had been mildly surprised, but then again, she _was_ the perfect choice for this job. She wouldn't have to stay there for a long time and thus wouldn't put herself in as much danger as other spies would. Furthermore, Kabuto didn't know her and wouldn't be able to identify her as a Konoha-nin. She would only have to hide her ANBU tattoo and discard her hitai-ate for a while.

Everything was settled quickly. Akiya was to disguise herself and travel to the area in which the hideout was supposed to be and join Orochimaru's ranks pretending that she was seeking his help. She wouldn't even have to put up much of an act when it came to the background story: she would tell him someone had blocked her memory and that she believed only he would be the one to help her regain it. In exchange, she would offer him her loyalty and her services.

It was all so easy.

The only one who wasn't happy about this arrangement was, of course, Kakashi. He didn't like the thought of her being within Orochimaru's reach. Akiya had yet to tell him about her flashback. She had opted to keep silent, seeing how he was already freaking out without knowing her true purpose to accept this mission:

She wanted to kill this snake bastard. And she would, no matter what.

Growing unnerved, Akiya went through a couple of wigs that she had used on espionage missions before. She never went to those missions undisguised, which was why none of her opponents had ever seen her real face. She didn't have an entry in the bingo book, either. They didn't even know she existed, and Akiya had rather it stayed like that, especially if she was going to stay in the Sound.

"Do you really want to wear this?" Kakashi asked her when she finally picked a wig with short, blonde hair.

"I cannot waste my chakra on a Henge no Jutsu all the time, Kakashi," Akiya answered calmly. "I thought we had already established that. It will be difficult enough for me if I have to think about hiding my ANBU tattoo with this technique all the time."

Kakashi sighed in defeat. "Fine. What else are you going to use for disguise?"

Akiya contemplated for a moment. "Brown contact lenses. My eyes are way to striking, I'd like to have an eye colour that doesn't attract that much attention. As for the rest...I'll wear some heavy weights I guess. They will make my shoulders slump down and make me appear smaller. Oh, and freckles, so they won't recognize my face. You would be surprised what a little make-up can do."

"You already have this completely planned out, haven't you?"

"Of course I have. You don't have to worry about me, okay?"

Kakashi sighed again. "Just promise me you won't do anything reckless and that you will take care of yourself."

Akiya smiled and let him hug her. "I promise."

* * *

"Those weights really slow me down," Akiya thought with a frown. It had taken her way longer than normal to reach the Sound. At least it was good training – she would be a lot faster without those weights now, and her stamina had definitely improved.

She was now getting close to the area in which the hideout was supposed to be, so she decided to rest a little before moving on. Orochimaru would certainly not be thrilled to admit her to his ranks when she looked as if she was totally exhausted.

Akiya lowered herself to the ground and ran her fingers through her hair. Well, not _her_ hair in the literal sense, but still. In a way, Kakashi had been right to question her choice to wear the one with the short hair – she hated it when her hair was short.

She rested her back against a tree and closed her eyes, humming softly, hoping that this would calm her down. The closer she got to the hideout, the jumpier she became. She would have to be extremely careful on this mission or she would never see Konoha again.

After a few minutes, Akiya got up again and collected her belongings. "Let's get it over with," she thought and stretched her back.

Even though she had been very vigilant, she noticed the chakra signature behind her too late. She didn't even have the time to fully turn around before the shinobi attacked her. All she saw was a glimpse of a white shirt, before she collapsed let the darkness engulf her.


	11. The village hidden in the sound

*** Chapter 10 ***

_How could __he know this new dawn's light  
Would change his life forever  
Set sail to sea but pulled off course  
By the light of golden treasure_

_Was he the one causing pain  
With his careless dreaming?  
Been afraid, always afraid  
Of the things he's feeling_

_How can I be lost  
If I've got nowhere to go?  
Searched for seas of gold  
How come it's got so cold?_

_How can I be lost?  
In remembrance I relieve  
And how can I blame you  
If it's me I can't forgive?_

_- Metallica: The unforgiven III – _

* * *

Akiya woke with a throbbing pain in her head. Her body was stiff from lying in an uncomfortable, twisted position for too long. With a groan, Akiya opened her eyes and rolled around to lie on her side. She ignored the pain that shot through her sore muscles and pushed herself up in order to take in her surroundings.

She found herself situated in a dark room which was only illuminated by a few candles. She was lying on a thin mattress that was hardly worth the appellation, for it was little more than a blanket. On the other side of the room there was a desk, and to her right she could make out the contours of a bed.

There was no window whatsoever, let alone daylight.

_Just great_.

To restrain her claustrophobia and the ensuing panic and hyperventilation which she could already feel kicking in, she let her eyes wander to the bed and the figure sitting on it.

"So you're awake," a monotonous voice noted.

Akiya was very tempted to reply with a sarcastic remark such as: _"No really? Who would have believed it?"_ but since she wanted to live on, she bit her tongue and remained silent. She didn't want to irritate her enemy that soon – it was bad enough that she was in this situation right now.

The person grabbed a candle, rose from the bed and approached her slowly. Akiya recognized him at once; after all, she had seen his face in Yamato's memory only a few days ago, but even if she hadn't, she would have recognized him because of the all-too familiar photograph of team 7 on Kakashi's windowsill, although he had grown a lot. He examined her with his pitch-black eyes, and every fibre, every cell, really everything about him radiated danger.

Uchiha Sasuke.

He stood in front of her, forcing her to look up to him. "Who are you?" he asked coolly.

"It is common courtesy to give your own name before inquiring your opponent's name," Akiya replied with an equally cool voice.

Sasuke's eyebrows rose at her remark, and she knew he remembered uttering those words during the Chunin exams...or at least something similar. It was something Kakashi had told her once when talking about Sasuke, and now she was glad she hadn't forgotten it. If it confused him, it was perfect.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke," he said, "and I'm only going to ask once more: Who are you?"

Akiya's face darkened. "If I knew that, I wouldn't be here."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It means that I do not remember my name, who I am or where I come from."

"Don't play dumb on me," he snarled. Akiya thought it was remarkable how composed and calm his facial expression remained despite his angry voice. "I searched through your belongings and found _this_."

Akiya paled slightly as she saw the item he was holding up.

"Don't you recognize this? It's a mission scroll for someone going by the name Akiya – signed by Tsunade, the fifth Hokage of Konohagakure. Do you still want to tell me you do not know who you are or where you are from?"

"I do not deny that I have been living in Konoha recently. But Konoha is not where I come from, and Akiya is not the name that was originally given to me," she answered deliberately.

Sasuke examined her coldly with his pitch-black eyes. "What is your real purpose here?" he interrogated her. "I don't believe that you have been sent here solely to spy on Orochimaru. Tell me, are they making another foolish and inane attempt to bring me back to Konoha? Because if that is the case, you can-"

"What makes you think I am here for you?" Akiya interrupted him brusquely. "I am really sorry to burst you ego, but the world doesn't revolve around you, Uchiha! I couldn't care less whether you return to Konoha or not!"

If he was surprised by her sudden outburst, he didn't show it. He just continued to watch her intently, waiting for her to go on.

Akiya hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much she could tell him. He suspected her anyway, and she knew she had to tell him at least parts of the truth if she wanted to make sure he didn't give her intentions away.

"It is true," she began slowly. "I was sent here by Tsunade-sama in order to gather information about Orochimaru's plans concerning Konoha. But I only volunteered to do this mission because I have my own reasons to be here."

"Such as...?"

Akiya narrowed her eyes at him. "I told you before that I don't know who I am – and this has not been a lie. I have no memory that reaches back farther than two years. I am here to change that."

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow and gestured for her to continue.

Akiya sighed. "When I was found about two and a half years ago, I was half dead. I had no memory of my former life whatsoever except for the pain I had to endure while being tortured and...and my family being killed."

Sasuke's head perked up at this and she knew she had hit a sore spot.

"I want to find the man who did this. And I want to kill him," Akiya's voice was set. "But for that, I need Orochimaru to give me back my memories – something not even Tsunade was able to do. Please," she said, beseeching him. "This is the only chance I have left. The only chance to find the murderer of my family. The only chance to avenge them."

Sasuke observed her for a moment, and somehow Akiya knew he wouldn't give her away. Then he nodded.

"Orochimaru is not here at the moment. I will bring you to Kabuto, his right hand. He will decide what to do with you."

* * *

Akiya followed Sasuke through a labyrinth of corridors. She was amazed by the sheer dimension of the hideout and she was pretty sure she would need some time to orient herself in here, since she was too focused on fighting back her claustrophobia to actually watch where they were going.

After a while, Sasuke stopped and beckoned her to enter the room in front of them. She cast him a questioning look and Sasuke rolled his eyes in response. He opened the door without even bothering to knock.

"Kabuto," he addressed the grey haired man inside with his emotionless voice.

"What is it, Sasuke-san?"

"There is someone who wants to join Orochimaru's ranks." Sasuke stepped aside to let Akiya in.

"I'm surprised, Sasuke-san. You usually feel to superior to bother with tasks like escorting newcomers," Kabuto commented, adjusted his glasses and turned to Akiya. "So tell me, what brings you here?"

"My name is Akiya. I wish to join Orochimaru's ranks."

"No family name?" Kabuto interjected.

"Just Akiya," she replied coolly.

"Well...Akiya-san, why exactly do you want to join Orochimaru-sama?"

"I want him to help me regain my memory," Akiya said straightforward. "And in exchange for that, I offer my loyalty."

"What are your rank and your abilities?"

"I have mastered a lot of jonin level jutsus and can control two elements. I do have one condition, though – no experiments on my body!"

Kabuto nodded thoughtfully. "This sounds like a fair deal to me. Orochimaru-sama is currently visiting another hideout, but you can stay here until he returns. Once you have filled him in on your entire story, he will decide whether he will admit you or not. You can go now and choose a room – there are plenty that are still vacant. I will have you spar with one of our ninjas to test your abilities later."

Akiya nodded and left the room, for his words were clearly to be understood as a dismissal. Before closing the door behind her, she heard Kabuto address Sasuke, though.

"Keep an eye on her," he ordered.

Sasuke merely snorted and turned to leave.

* * *

Akiya could positively say she hated this place. She had spent all day pacing up and down in her small room, trying not to freak out – which turned out to be more difficult than she had expected. Over the past two years, she had had to stay in dark, cramped places more than just once when being on a mission, and as long as she didn't have to sleep there, she usually didn't have that much problems with that anymore. This place, however, stirred up memories of her nightmares that she rather forgot.

She already knew she would never find sleep here.

Akiya already longed to go outside of the hideout again, but she guessed this wouldn't happen anytime soon, unless Kabuto decided to let her spar with whoever was supposed to be her opponent outside.

Akiya chewed on her lower lip. It was a nervous habit that she had developed over the years, and she couldn't get rid of it. She was lost in thoughts, controlling her breathing, when the door to her room was opened.

Kabuto was standing there, a man that could only be described as _huge_ by his side. "Follow us."

Akiya got up silently and stepped outside. So the test was going to begin.

Kabuto led them to a bigger room that resembled an arena. "Arashi is going to be your opponent today. Fight him."

"Am I supposed to kill him?" Akiya asked in a monotonous voice.

Kabuto shrugged. "I don't care. Do what you want."

Inwardly, Akiya shuddered at how little a human life meant to him, but she had no choice but to lower into a fighting stance and wait for her opponent's attack. "He is massive," she mused, "and most likely very strong, but his size should slow him down. Taijutsu will probably be the best way to bring him down."

As Arashi stormed towards her, Akiya quickly drew some shuriken and threw them at him, slowing him down even more. With a swift movement she ducked under the blow he had aimed at her and kicked him in the stomach with as much force as she could muster. Unfortunately, this didn't really seem to affect him.

"_Damn it!"_ Akiya cursed silently as she retreated after exchanging some blows with him. This was not going to work. She had not wanted to kill this shinobi, but she had to proceed to ninjutsu or this fight was going to last forever. No, she was going to end this quickly – it would probably gain her some of Kabuto's respect, too, if he saw that she didn't hesitate to kill.

Immediately, she began to weave the familiar hand signs. "_Fuuton: Kazekiri_" The wind blade shot towards Arashi with incredible speed, cutting through his body effortlessly. Akiya swallowed hard as she saw his body fall to the ground but remained her composure and turned to look at Kabuto, who seemed to be very pleased by what he had just seen.

"So I assume that you have wind-natured chakra, huh? What's the other element you can control?"

"Lightning," Akiya replied tonelessly. It was something Kakashi had taught her as soon as she had mastered her first wind jutsus.

"Very interesting...very interesting indeed," Kabuto murmured. "I'm impressed. Orochimaru-sama will surely appreciate your ...loyalty."

"Thank you," Akiya answered stiffly.

"You may go now. I will contact you when I have a task for you."

Akiya bowed shortly before she left to return to the little prison that was called her room.


	12. Senbon vs Katana

*** Chapter 11 ***

_Now it seems I'm fading  
All my dreams are not worth saving  
I've done my share of waiting  
And I've still got nowhere else to go_

_So I wait for you to  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way…_

_- Three Days Grace: Take me under – _

* * *

Sasuke sat on his bed cross-legged when a resolute knock on his room door interrupted his meditation. He didn't bother to answer, and a few seconds later he heard the door creak as it was being pushed open. Whoever the intruder was – it was definitely not Kabuto, the steps had been to light for that – didn't enter the room, though, but remained motionless, obviously waiting for him to react.

"Uchiha-san?"

Finally, Sasuke opened his eyes to glare at the intruder, and was slightly surprised to see Akiya leaning on the door frame. "Hn."

"Kabuto sent me," she said curtly. "You are supposed to train with me."

Sasuke snorted. He did _not_ train with other people except for Orochimaru, and certainly wouldn't do it because Kabuto ordered him to do so. "Am I now? And what if I'm not interested?"

The young woman threw him a contemptuous look and answered with a counter question: "Are you always such an arrogant prick?"

Sasuke's glare intensified. "Maybe I just think you are not worthy of my time."

"Maybe you are just too chicken," Akiya retorted provokingly.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. With her short blonde hair and big brown eyes the girl didn't appear to be very dangerous. She looked rather young and more like a not-so-slender porcelain doll, but she sure had a sharp tongue. And then again, she had beat Arashi pretty quickly, so maybe she wasn't as weak as she looked. After all, one should never underestimate an opponent.

Seeing his face, Akiya likewise raised her eyebrows, snorted and turned to walk away. "Now this is something new," Sasuke thought slightly amused. No one had ever walked away from him like this.

With a quick movement, he drew a kunai and aimed it at a spot above her right shoulder. As the knife whooshed past her, her right hand shot up to catch it between two fingers without even turning around.

"Not bad," he complimented her begrudgingly.

Akiya tossed the kunai up in the air a few times before swirling around and thrusting it forward. It hit the wall just above his head. "Are you coming now or what?"

Sasuke smirked. This was going to be interesting.

* * *

He led her to his usual training ground by the waterfall.

"Well then, let's see what you can do," he said flatly and charged at her before she even had the time to take a look around. Akiya reacted quickly, though, sending a bunch of senbon flying towards him. Sasuke stopped for a moment, catching the senbon with ease.

"Senbon?" he asked dismissively. _"Really?"_

Senbon were weapons for ninjas who were afraid to strike, and afraid to kill, he thought, which was why he had never used them. He despised those kinds of ninjas. He didn't kill if it wasn't necessary, but from his point of view, senbon users were weak.

Somehow that Akiya was using senbon didn't fit in the picture of the kunoichi who had unhesitatingly killed Arashi.

Akiya narrowed her eyes at him. "I do a lot of information gathering," she informed him coolly. "And for that it is kinda essential that my adversary stays alive."

"Hn." She had a point there. But she certainly shouldn't use them when fighting him, because Sasuke was not in for an easy fight. He would not hold back, and he would rather she didn't, either.

He attacked her again, and this time she didn't defend herself with weapons but with taijutsu. They exchanged a few blows and kicks, and it became evident that even though she was very good at taijutsu, she was no match for him regarding speed. What hacked him off the most was that until now, she only defended herself. He wanted to see what kind of offensive attacks she had mastered.

Sasuke decided it was time to get down to business. The next time she came close to him, he used his Chidori Nagashi. Akiya's managed to block just in time his jutsu by using one of her own.

"Fuuton: Senpuken", she yelled, thus creating a giant whirlwind that invalidated the lightning current that ran over his body and almost knocking him over. The ghost of a smirk flashed over her face as she watched him retreat until he was out of her reach. Apparently she was being serious about this now, too.

Akiya didn't give him time to muse about this any longer. Her smirk grew wider as she began to weave some hand seals and pushed her hand onto the ground. "Raiton: Ikazuchi Hakai!"

Sasuke's eyes widened slightly as the bolt of lightning shot towards him through the ground, creating a massive crack in the ground. He jumped into the air and cast a fire ball in her direction, which she evaded with ease.

Akiya responded by hurling some kunai into his direction, forcing him to draw his katana in order to repel them. A second later, he activated his sharingan.

He thought he might need it.

A quarter of an hour later, Akiya kneeled on the ground, Sasuke's katana against her throat. Both of them were panting heavily, and Akiya silently wondered whether she would still be able to move the next day. Sasuke had landed a few extremely hard blows on her, and she could already feel the bruises forming. At least she had managed to inflict some minor damage on him, too. Admittedly, it were only some scratches, but she was proud that she had able to hold on for such a long time, even though he had activated his sharingan. The hard training with Kakashi had paid off in the end.

Unfortunately he had caught her in a genjutsu in the end, and she hadn't had enough chakra left to disrupt it. She also knew that she wouldn't have lasted as long had he activated his curse seal. However, it had been a good fight.

Sasuke withdrew his katana and nodded, satisfied. "Kakashi trained you well," he commented matter-of-factly.

Akiya winced slightly, but guesses she shouldn't be surprised if he recognized her fighting style. After all, he had been one of Kakashi's students as well. "I could say the same about you," she replied. "Your enhancements of the Chidori are quite impressive."

Sasuke acknowledged her comment with his signature monosyllabic grunt, and massaged his shoulder. Akiya fought the urge to grin.

"Senbon aren't as harmless as you think", she remarked amused. She had managed to hit him on several spots that she knew would be sore this evening if he didn't get them looked at. Not only Kakashi had trained her well – after the rescue mission she had carried out with Genma, the Jonin had started to train her in the use of senbon, and since Genma was a pro with senbon, she had learned a lot during his lessons.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted again. A moment of silence ensued. "Have you ever used a katana?" he asked her then.

Akiya looked at him, surprised. "No," she confessed, "I never wielded a sword – I never needed that."

"You should learn it."

Akiya quirked an eyebrow.

"We will work on that tomorrow," Sasuke continued. "I will instruct you."

"Let me guess...in exchange you want to copy some of my jutsu," Akiya said. "Well enough. One hand washes the other, I guess."

Sasuke nodded. "Tomorrow, here, at the same time." And with that, he left.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, they trained every day.

Akiya might not be as strong as him, but she was the most adequate sparring partner in the hideout. During their training sessions, he actually even learned a lot. He taught her how to use a katana, and she showed him how to work with senbon. Sasuke copied some of her jutsus and showed her some of his own in return. It was a give-and-take relationship from which both of them benefited.

It surprised Sasuke that he almost enjoyed it. He usually preferred to be left alone, but since Akiya didn't talk much, he didn't mind being around her that much. Furthermore, she showed no sign of becoming a fangirl, something he was incredibly glad for.

Sasuke found it amazing how quickly Akiya mastered new techniques. Sure enough, she was strong, but she didn't have a sharingan to copy them, and therefore he found it remarkable how fast she perfected the jutsus he showed her. He was almost jealous. The longer he thought about it, the surer he was that there was something she hadn't told him.

Then again, she hadn't told anyone much of her past anyway.

* * *

Night had fallen, and it was utterly dark as Sasuke stepped out of the hideout to breathe some fresh air. Since it was well past midnight, he didn't expect to meet anyone. Yet, when he reached the waterfall, he wasn't alone. A small figure was sitting on the ground by the cliff, her legs dangling over the edge and her back rested against a large piece of rubble that Akiya had caused by using one of her lightning techniques. It wasn't hard to figure out who the person was – scarcely anybody ever came here.

Akiya didn't turn as he approached her, but addressed him as soon as he stood behind her. "How come you are out here at this time of the night?"

"I could ask you the same question."

The corners of her mouth twitched upwards for a split second. "True enough."

She continued to stare into nothingness, and Sasuke patiently waited for her to speak on. After all, she was the one who was supposed to be observed and who had to justify her actions, not him.

"I can't sleep in there, ever," she said eventually. "Claustrophobic," she added explanatory.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at that. He had never heard of a claustrophobic ninja, and he wondered how she managed to do her job correctly.

"That's not what you really wanted to know, though, is it?" she inquired quietly. She smiled weakly when she saw Sasuke frown. "I've always been good at reading people." Akiya tilted her head and looked at him. "This surprises you, doesn't it? I take it that people normally have problems figuring you out. But you and I...we are quite alike, I think."

Akiya fell silent again.

"How do you do it?" Sasuke asked her finally, and he didn't need to elaborate for her to understand what he was talking about.

Akiya inhaled deeply. "I have always been able to see people's memories. This is why I am always sent on espionage missions; I can gather the information needed within a few minutes. There are drawbacks, though – I can never forget the memories once I have seen them. Strange, isn't it, that a person who has no memories of her own has a mind filled with the memories of others?" She smiled a crooked smile. "Somehow I cannot get myself to appreciate the irony."

"A kekkei genkai." It was a statement, not a question.

"Hai."

"You didn't tell Kabuto."

"Kabuto doesn't need to know everything," she said, throwing him a meaningful look.

"Why did you tell me?"

There was a moment of silence. "I don't know," Akiya whispered then. "I don't know."


	13. Comparing scars

*** Chapter 12 ***

_Are we getting closer or are we __just getting more lost?  
I'll show you mine, if you show me yours first  
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse  
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words..._

_- Rise Against: Swing Life Away – _

* * *

"You wished to see me, Kabuto-san?"

"Indeed, I did. I've got a mission for you and Sasuke-san."

"A mission?" Akiya repeated warily. "What kind of mission?"

"There's a feudal lord in Sound who has been giving us problems lately. Orochimaru-sama wants you to eliminate him."

Akiya nodded slowly. She had known the day would come when they would test her loyalty and abilities on a mission. She was surprised that this happened before Orochimaru had come back, but then again, Kabuto probably had some means to contact his master regularly. Officially, Kabuto was in charge when Orochimaru wasn't there, but it was Orochimaru who still gave the orders.

What didn't surprise her at all was the fact that Sasuke was supposed to accompany her. He had been observing her over the past weeks anyway, and he was the strongest shinobi in this hideout – just in case she should try to flee or turn on them, he would be capable of stopping her.

She still had no idea why he hadn't given her away yet. Akiya just couldn't find a coherent reason for his behaviour, except for the fact that until now, he profited from their concerted training. She could never be sure when he would decide on a whim that she wasn't useful for him anymore and that he could bust her. Until now, no one had asked her any question about any former affiliations to a village, and Akiya was sure that once they knew she was from Konoha, no one would believe her story anymore.

She depended on him to stay silent, and she didn't like it one bit.

"Where do we find this lord?" Akiya inquired matter-of-factly.

"This is hard to predict, as he travels around a lot – he has become suspicious of us. He is constantly accompanied by half a dozen of skilled shinobi, because he fears our attack. Rumours are that he will pass through a small town in the north of Sound next week, though. Your task is to go to this village and wait for him there and...give him a small welcome gift. Any questions?"

Akiya declined.

"Fine then," Kabuto continued. "Sasuke-san has already been informed of the mission, so you should pack your gear quickly; you will leave immediately. Oh, and one more thing, Akiya-san," he added when Akiya was already halfway out the door. She turned back. "There must be neither survivors nor witnesses. Understood?"

Akiya nodded shortly. "Hai."

* * *

They travelled in silence most of the time, but the silence didn't create an awkward atmosphere. This was something Sasuke valued about her – she didn't feel the need to fill the silence with words, like most people did, but was content to not say anything.

He found it strange that a person could be so ambiguous. She reminded him of Kakashi – distant and aloof, but, sometimes, just sometimes, there was a warmth emanating from her that he never expected and didn't quite understand.

He couldn't figure her out, and it terribly unnerved him.

She definitely had spent too much time with his former sensei for her own good.

When they had set up the camp the second night, Sasuke retreated to the shadow of the trees, while Akiya started a fire. He watched her stare into the fire for a while, before she got up and joined him. She sat down next to him, close, but not too close that either of them would get uncomfortable with the nearness and rested her back against one of the tree trunks.

"What is it like," she asked softly after a moment of silence, "to lose the ones you love?"

Sasuke felt a very familiar pang of pain shooting through his body. His head jerked up and he glared at her irately. Just how did this girl manage to hit his sore spots so easily and repeatedly? Yet when he looked at her face, there was no malice, no viciousness in her eyes. All he could see was genuine concern...and interest.

"Don't you know that well enough yourself?" he snapped, nevertheless unable to maintain his calm composure. He hated being reminded of that day. People usually had the discretion to _not_ ask something like this, and she really should know better.

Akiya surprised him again, however.

"No," she said simply. "No, I don't."

Sasuke was dumfounded.

"I think I told you before that I see a person that I assume is my sister being killed," she continued. "In any case, I don't...I don't remember her. I don't even know her name. I don't even know whether we were close or not. So no, I do not know what it is like to experience loss the way you did."

"And you wouldn't want to."

"Yes," she said. "Yes, I do. _I_ _have to know._" Her voice turned to an almost inaudible whisper, and for the first time he could hear the pain in her voice, could hear how much this tortured her. "I want to find the hate inside of me, so that when I come face to face with the man who killed my family, I will be able to show no mercy. Of course I want revenge. It is my duty, too, to avenge my family. But without hate, my quest seems to be...empty. I want to really mean it. But for that, I need to know what loss feels like, because I can't find the hate inside me right now."

It was, Sasuke mused, probably the longest speech she had ever given. Hearing her words, he felt his ire die away. He, too, had struggled for a long time until he had been able to hate Itachi. He was still his brother, after all, and even though Sasuke would never have admitted it, he had loved his brother more than anyone else, and despite everything Itachi had done, there was still a part in him that wanted to believe that there was a reason for all of this, that he didn't slaughter his family, that this was all just a bad dream.

Who would have thought it took that much effort to hate someone?

Sure enough, their situations weren't exactly the same. But still...

Another long silence ensued. "I-" Sasuke was just about to say something, when Akiya spoke up.

"It's fine," she cut him short, but it didn't sound as if she took his hesitation amiss. "You don't have to answer me, of course. I guess it's better this way. I will know anyway, I reckon, once I have regained my memory."

With that, she got up and returned to the campfire, leaving Sasuke to wonder about this strange girl who had the ability to throw him off completely.

* * *

Akiya eyed the room she was standing in and wrinkled her nose in disdain. Just why did Sasuke have to choose this old, almost run-down hotel to spend the night? The room was just as dark and shabby as she had expected it to be and she sighed at the prospect of another sleepless night.

"_Honestly, why did he think we wouldn't stand out in a place like this anyway?"_ she silently asked herself.

They had reached the small village that lay on their way several hours ago, and since the night was already falling, Sasuke had announced his intentions to spend the night in the village. Akiya hadn't minded, first, seeing as there was a high probability of rain during the night. But this place...Akiya bit the inside of her cheek to restrain herself from shuddering.

Akiya sighed. At least the fact that there was only one bed wouldn't bring about any awkward situations if she wasn't going to get any sleep anyway.

She shook her head. Before entering the village, they had hidden their weapons in order to not be recognized as shinobi – they didn't know whether the feudal lord had spies in this village, so they didn't want to take a chance and risk that he got wind of them being after him. However, pretending to be civilians brought some downsides with it. Like, for example, the fact that in this area it was uncommon and absolutely proscribed for a man and a woman who were clearly not related to be travelling together if they weren't married. And since no woman would be travelling alone in this area either, they had no choice but to pose as a pair of newlyweds.

"_Perfect. Just perfect."_

Akiya clearly remembered the deprecatory look on the receptionist's face – a female, of course, who began ogling Sasuke as soon as he entered the reception, despite the fact that she was at least fifteen years older than he was – when Sasuke ordered a double room for the night.

"And this..._lovely_ woman is your...?" she had asked, putting an extra emphasis on the adjective and leaving the sentence unfinished so that he had had to give the answer.

"Wife", Sasuke had replied flatly, and the smile on the receptionists had faded immediately, being replaced with a look of disbelief and then a pout when Sasuke had simply snatched the keys from her hand and ascending the stairs without even thanking her.

Akiya felt like chuckling. She didn't mind the receptionist's disregard, and she certainly didn't envy him for being this popular with women. No wonder this guy had personal space issues after all this years of fangirls chasing after him. Actually, it was probably a miracle he hadn't developed a trauma yet.

The bathroom door squeaked as Sasuke entered the room, shirtless and his hair still dripping wet from the shower he had just taken. "You can have the bed," he said, and it was more of a command than an offer. "I will sleep on the floor."

Akiya shook her head no. "You take the bed. I won't be able to get any sleep in here anyway."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but Akiya didn't give him any time to object before she slipped into the bathroom. She needed a proper shower, and she needed to get rid of that stupid wig soon or she would rip it off. She felt as if she was constantly scratching her head at the moment, because her skin started to itch when wearing a wig for too long. Akiya carefully locked the door behind her – twice, just to be sure – and sighed in relief, grateful for those few moments of privacy.

When she emerged almost an hour and a half later, finally feeling clean again – Akiya couldn't remember to have spent that long in the shower, ever – Sasuke was already asleep. Akiya tiptoed across the room and hopped onto the windowsill, wrapping her arms around her knees. For a long time she stared at the storm clouds which were drawing nearer and hid the moonlight almost completely.

During the entire time, Sasuke didn't move once. Had it not been for his almost inaudible but even breathing, Akiya might as well have thought he was dead. It was strange, she mused, for someone who was such a light sleeper who woke at the faintest noise to lie so still. One could easily mistake him for being a deep sleeper, but Akiya knew she must never slip up, not even when he was asleep. One tiny mistake and she would blow her cover. He knew too much already.

She turned her head to gaze at the young man lying under the covers and couldn't help but smile. Now, being fast asleep and with the moonlight caressing his face, he didn't look as grim and callous as he looked when he was awake. He looked so _young. _His face seemed to be softer, and Akiya had to admit that a part of her could understand why so many girls fell in love with him. He really was beautiful on the outside.

And there was another part in her that told her that there was more to him than the eye could see. Despite his cold demeanour and his "I-don't-give-a-fuck-as-long-as-you-don't-mess-with-me-or-I-will-kill-you" attitude, he wasn't evil, of that she was sure,

The problem was: he was fucking unpredictable.


	14. Revelations

*** Chapter 13 ***

_I was electrified by your eyes as they froze  
Inviting me inside of your life to grow_

_I'm so mesmerized by the light you expose  
Igniting a fire deep inside of my soul_

_Everlasting setting sun  
You're my angel, you're the only one  
No one close and nothing compares in the end  
We will be together again_

_I raise my white flag  
It's the last flag I'll ever raise  
Don't stay away  
Staring at you and all you are  
I believe  
_

_- Roadrunner United: Army of the sun -_

* * *

The following day, it was raining so hard that one could think the end of the world was near. Akiya glared at the storm that was raging on outside, as if thus she would be able to make it stop.

Sasuke frowned. "We will have to stay here for the day," he announced.

Akiya grimaced. "No, I think we should move on. I don't mind the rain. Actually, I rather like it."

That wasn't even a lie. Rain always reminded her of the night Kakashi had found her. In a way, it symbolized a new beginning, a new life. Plus, rain washed away all the blood, shame, bitterness and remorse that came along with missions.

Yes, she really liked rain.

Sasuke's gaze shifted to her. "How so?"

He probably thought she was insane. No one liked the rain. And no one would voluntarily set a foot out the door with this weather. No one except for a half-mad, claustrophobic kunoichi who didn't give a damn what happened to her as long as she was able to get the hell out of this tiny room.

Not wanting to point out her weakness again, Akiya opted for the other reason why she liked rain. "It was raining the night Kakashi found me," was the simple explanation she gave him.

He beheld her for another moment, before turning away. "If we leave now, everyone will know we are no civilians," he said, unaffected.

Akiya sighed, knowing he was right. They couldn't just disappear, and they couldn't leave the hotel officially for everyone to see, because everyone knew only ninjas would go out when a storm was raging outside. And then there was a chance the feudal lord would be warned that they were coming after him.

Akiya glowered at the prospect of spending another day in this waste dump, and spending the entire day stuck in the same room with Uchiha Sasuke in particular. It wasn't that she didn't like his company – actually, she found his presence far more agreeable than the one of many Konoha shinobi – but she would have liked to finally have some privacy. Furthermore, it really put a strain on her to be under his constant surveillance.

Grumbling quietly, she pulled out the book she had kept in her coat.

"What?" she asked irritably as she noticed the raven haired shinobi throw a glance at her.

"Nothing," he replied.

"Sure," Akiya retorted sarcastically. "Let me guess, you were dreading the sight of Kakashi's infamous little orange book."

Akiya could hardly believe it when she saw the corners of Sasuke's mouth were actually twitching slightly in amusement. _Amusement!_

"It wouldn't have surprised me," Sasuke admitted. "You resemble him a lot."

"That doesn't necessarily mean I read porn in public."

"We aren't in public," he remarked.

Akiya threw him a vicious look, fighting the urge to send the book flying towards his head. _"What the hell?, _she thought. Was he teasing her or what was this supposed to be? "I don't read porn in privacy either," she said icily. "Now that we have this sorted out, could you stop annoying me?"

Again, his lips were twitching, but he stayed silent and Akiya resumed her reading.

The hours dragged on endlessly. At some point, Sasuke left, claiming that he would get them something to eat and telling her to at least try and get some sleep. Akiya didn't feel very inclined to follow his orders, but decided she could at least pretend to rest if that meant he dropped the subject then.

With a sigh, Akiya let herself fall on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She tried to keep her thoughts from wandering, shutting out thoughts of a certain shinobi in particular, since she didn't want to get a headache racking her brain worrying about how long he would still cover her up. After a while, Akiya felt her eyelids become heavy, and surprisingly, she drifted into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Sasuke wasn't yet halfway down the corridor that led to their room when a muffled scream sounded through the hallway and didn't have to be a genius to recognize the voice. He set down the food tray and hastened to the door. He threw it open without bothering about the noise, only to find that there was no fighting at all going on in their room. Instead, Akiya was lying on the bed, tossing and turning in her sleep, clenching her fists into the sheets and crying out in pain.

_Nightmares._

Sasuke wasn't sure whether he should be relieved or worried. It was a good thing, he guessed, that nothing had happened, but, on the other hand, nightmares were something he was extremely familiar with, and he knew that having nightmares wasn't exactly a delightful issue.

He wondered what she dreamed about. Did she see her family being killed, like he did when he had nightmares, a never ending and ever repeated scene that played before his inner eye? Did she experience the same horror over and over again, like he did?

Whatever it was, Sasuke decided he had to wake her, or otherwise the receptionist or other guests might hear her in spite of the storm and come to check on them, which was something he would rather avoid. Plus, he didn't really enjoy seeing her in pain. He was surprised she had woken up yet – somehow he would have figured that the nightmares and her own screams would wake her.

After carefully closing the door behind him, he strode towards the bed and grabbed her shoulder to shake her awake.

Her reaction was immediate and unexpected. Her eyes flew open and she instantly yanked his hand away and punched him with quite some force, sending him stumbling backwards a few steps.

"What the-" Only then did she realize who had been the one touching her, and she stared at him, eyes wide with shock and astonishment for a second, until her facial expression turned unto a scowl. "What was that for, Uchiha?" she growled.

Sasuke noticed that she had abandoned the suffix some time ago. Not that he minded – he had never been as polite as to use them, not even with his sensei or the Hokage. He figured that she must have thought it was neither worth the effort nor the waste of breath to address him politely.

"You were making a lot of noise," he informed her, completely unimpressed by her ire. "I didn't want you to alarm the entire hotel."

The anger disappeared from her face and there was actually a faint blush reddening her cheeks.

"Oh," she said quietly and frowned. "Sorry."

He shrugged it off, signaling her that she didn't have to apologize. For a split second, Sasuke contemplated asking her whether this happened often, but decided to drop the subject. He didn't feel like invading her private space and he wasn't her babysitter, after all.

"Hungry?" he asked in his usual monotonous voice, remembering the tray of food that stood abandoned in the hallway.

Akiya shook her head no.

Sasuke shrugged again. It wasn't his problem if she didn't want to eat. He went to pick up the food and when he returned he told her to go back to sleep. Unsurprisingly, she wanted to decline, but he cut her short, because she looked as if she seriously needed some rest, and he didn't want her to slow them down tomorrow. They had lost a day already; they couldn't afford to lose more time.

"I'll wake you if the nightmares come back," he told her, inhibiting any further protest, and Akiya obeyed begrudgingly. Sasuke made a mental note to use a stick the next time he had to wake her – he didn't want to have to avoid her punches every time, because she sure had some mean right hook.

* * *

Arms folded in front of his chest and claiming Akiya's usual spot on the windowsill, Sasuke spent the night watching the storm die out. Finally, the sky grew lighter as the first sunrays shone through the tiny window and lit up the room.

Slowly, Sasuke got up to wake Akiya, who had slept surprisingly soundly throughout the rest of the night. She had still been shuffling around a lot, but apparently there had been no more nightmares. He guessed that she hadn't been getting much sleep during her stay in Orochimaru's hideout and had to make up for the lack of sleep now.

Making his way to the bed, he let his gaze wonder over her face for a moment – and froze in his place. _This couldn't be…_

He leaned in to make sure his eyes didn't betray him, even though he knew there was no way he could have been mistaken. And sure enough, there were some dark curls cropping up under her short blonde hair.

Sasuke reached out for them, and although Akiya's reaction was just as instantaneous as it had been the previous night, she wasn't fast enough to stop him from getting hold of her hair. Her hand shot up to grab his wrist, preventing him from yanking the wig off her head.

They glared at each other wordlessly for what seemed like an eternity, until he finally unclenched his fist and pulled his arm back.

"Remove it," he snapped at her.

"Everything," he added angrily as her hands moved to her head. Akiya sent him another death glare and rose from the bed.

Sasuke watched silently as she turned his back on him and began to remove the wig. From her jerky movements with which she pulled at it, he could tell that she upset and really _seriously _pissed off. He didn't care.

Had he been able to think rationally, he would have been surprised by the anger boiling up in his chest. He felt as if she had betrayed him, and he really had to restrain himself from throttling her.

Why he reacted so testily, he would never know. He had always known she was a spy, and he should have expected her to travel in disguise. What upset him the most was the thought that everything she had pretended to be had been an act. He had had the feeling that she _understood. _He would have almost said he liked her, and now…

Now he didn't know what was right and wrong anymore.

Her sweatshirt fell to the floor with a loud "clong". Sasuke raised his eyebrows. _Heavy weights? What were supposed to be good for?_

He didn't have much time to think about before she yanked away the ribbon that had held her hair in place and whirled around to face him again, bristling with anger.

"Happy now?" she hissed viciously.

Sasuke kept his facial expression carefully neutral as he looked her up and down. Now that she was standing in front of him with nothing but a pair of shorts and a top that she had worn underneath the black sweatshirt, he understood what the heavy weights had been for. They had optically made her gain a few pounds and made her seem smaller than she actually was. He didn't let his eyes linger on her slender, yet muscular figure but let them wander up to her face and found himself viewing someone who didn't resemble the Akiya he knew at all. The freckles were all gone, and the reddish-brown curls framing her face made it softer, and yet at the same time harder than it had looked before.

The most striking feature, though, were her eyes, from which she stared back at him defiantly. He had never seen eyes like these before, and for a moment, he found himself mesmerized by their colour and light.

She was beautiful.

Sasuke quickly forced himself to snap back into reality and reprimanded himself for letting himself get carried away, for allowing his anger to almost dissipate at her sight. His look fell onto the tattoo on her right shoulder, and his eyes widened slightly in surprise. She was in _ANBU_? Then...

He threw a glance at the heavy weights lying on the floor. "Did they slow you down?" he asked blankly.

Akiya hesitated for a moment. "Yes," she then admitted begrudgingly.

"How much?"

She sighed in defeat. "Pretty much."

Sasuke kept his gaze unwavering. "From now on you will travel undisguised," he announced flatly. "We will face skilled opponents, and you need to be at your best when fighting them. Get ready for the departure while I get you something to wear, we will leave as soon as possible. And prepare for a spar – I want to know how good you really are."

With that, he strode out of the room, leaving Akiya to stare after him.


	15. Bemusing

*** Chapter 14 ***

_When the moon fell in love with the sun  
All was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night_

_- Panic! At the disco: When the day met the night – _

* * *

For the first time in ages, Akiya was nervous. As in _really_ nervous. Not the anticipation-like kind of nervousness that everyone experienced when being sent on a mission, but the kind of nervousness that made you feel uncomfortable.

She blamed part of it on her new attire. Sure, the clothes that Sasuke had gotten her were very decent – knee-length brown-beige pants and a black tank top – but she still hated the fact that she couldn't hide under her wide sweatshirts anymore. Without her usual clothing and the makeup she had used for disguise, she felt strangely exposed. Of course she had been dependent on his good will from the beginning, but this...this was different. She had no other trump up the sleeve, nothing that would gain her any advantage anymore should he feel like blowing her cover. And somehow she had the feeling Uchiha Sasuke was seriously pissed at the moment, so she really didn't know what he was going to do next.

She didn't even know why he was that angry, and this was what unsettled her. Just why had he reacted like this?

Unsurprisingly, Sasuke was already waiting for her outside the small village, his katana already in his hand. He acknowledged her arrival with a short nod and Akiya was only just fast enough to catch the other katana he threw at her. It was a better sword than the one she usually trained with, Akiya noticed. Where he suddenly got it from, she had no idea, but he made one thing unmistakingly clear: he was not going to hold back. And she wouldn't last long if she did.

_Just perfect._

With a muttered curse, Akiya went into a fighting stance and waited for his attack. If he wanted this, he could very well make the first move.

One could say, though, that his first move wasn't what she had expected him to do.

Akiya froze for a heartbeat as she saw the red of the sharingan swirling. Sure, they had trained with his sharingan so that he could copy one or two of her jutsus, but ever since their first fight, he hadn't used it _against _her.

Akiya groaned in exasperation. This was even worse than she had thought. She could only hope he didn't use genjutsu on her, or she would be pretty screwed. Plus, the only way to stand a chance against him now was using her own kekkei genkai and that meant he would get to know the full extends of her abilities.

Only a few weeks before departing on this mission, she had found that thoughts turned into memories as well – and this allowed her to basically read her opponents mind and predict his movements.

There were two drawbacks, however: _One_, there was always a little time delay. She could see the thoughts as soon as they were thinking them, but only after that, and with someone as fast as Sasuke, this short moment might just be too long.

And, most importantly, _two_, she hadn't had much time to practice this extension of her kekkei genkai, meaning that she was far from perfecting this skill. Akiya knew she wouldn't be able to fully rely on this, even though her kekkei genkai was her only chance. In any case, she sharingan was the stronger bloodline, and she anticipated that she would have problems holding up against him.

There was one more thing that caused her to hesitate using her kekkei genkai on him: For some strange reason, she felt like invading his privacy, and she didn't want that. It was probably completely ridiculous, she thought, as it had never bothered her before to read the thoughts of her opponents. She hated seeing their mostly sick and twisted minds, yes, but she had never felt like invading their private space.

Of course she usually didn't read other persons thoughts and respected their privacy, but only with Kakashi and Genma had she ever consciously decided to not enter their minds. It was a question of mutual respect (plus, Akiya knew them well enough that she didn't need to see their memories to know what they were thinking). Since they were almost constantly together, they shared every part of their lives, too, except for that tiny little space in their heads, which was their hideaway, their place to be alone whenever they wanted to.

And somehow, Akiya respected Sasuke that much that she wanted to let him have his privacy as well. He confused her, yes, and she wanted to figure him out, but she didn't want to do it by using her kekkei genkai. She wanted him to tell her who he really was on his own accord, because _he_ wanted to.

Akiya barely had the time to reprehend herself for caring about what her enemy before when he charged at her.

* * *

When the fight was over, Akiya found herself in a _very_ familiar situation – on her knees, with Sasuke's katana against her throat.

"_Dammit!"_ she cursed silently. Several times she had been _so_ close to achieving a draw, but Sasuke had always managed to avoid her in the last second, and had often even taken advantage of the situation, forcing her to retreat again, and in the end, he had defeated her again. Akiya assumed that she would have multiple bruises after this fight – he definitely hadn't gone easy on her. Not that she had expected or wanted this, but she wasn't that thrilled about feeling bruises form all over her body either.

Sasuke stared at her from above, his expression as unreadable as ever, until he finally withdrew the katana and took a step back, thus allowing her to get up again.

"You are better than I thought," Sasuke stated, his voice not betraying any emotion.

Akiya could feel the anger burning up inside her. "Thanks," she replied coolly and took a few steps to the side to pick up her katana from the ground and hand it back to him.

To her surprise, he refused to take it. "Keep it," he ordered flatly. "You might need a good sword."

He turned his back to her and started walking down the road, as if they hadn't just tried to beat each other to bloody pulps. Akiya glared at him from behind and then hurried to catch up to him. Sometimes, he had serious mood swings, she noted. Normally, she would have left it with that, but now she wanted answers.

"Do you mind telling me what this was all about?" she inquired.

Sasuke merely answered with a counter question, refusing to even look at her. "Why were you travelling in disguise? What reason do you have to hide?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a spy," she deadpanned. "Ninety-nine percent of my missions I have to fulfil in disguise."

"You told me you were seeking out Orochimaru on your own accord, because you wanted revenge more than anything else."

"_Oh please don't tell me this is about wounded pride because of having been lied to or something,"_ Akiya thought.

"I _do_ want revenge, and yes, this _is_ what I am here for, as well as for completing my mission," she retorted. "I travelled in disguise because I cannot afford to be recognized. Do you really think I want to stay in Otogakure once I know who killed my family? Do you really think I would be loyal to a sadistic, perverted bastard like Orochimaru? Of course not! As soon as I've got the information I need, I'm out of here. And don't give me that look; I know you are as disgusted by his experiments as I am!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her sudden outburst. "So you think you can use Orochimaru as you will, have your revenge and then return to your old life?" He shook his head. "It isn't as easy as that, Akiya."

"Yes," she contradicted. "Yes it is. For me it is, at least. Because unlike you, even though I long to avenge my family, I do not put this above everything else. I don't want to stand there one day, having fulfilled my goal, and having nowhere to go, which is what will surely happen to you. I will have both – my revenge _and_ my life."

"Do you want to say I am not alive? Because I feel very alive – I'm breathing, my heart is beating, my brain is working..."

Akiya snorted. "If that is what you call alive, then I guess I have to pity you. Life isn't about living for you and caring only for yourself. It's worth nothing if you have got no one in your life you hold dear, if you don't feel anything at all."

"Stop trying to talk me into coming back to Konoha," he hissed.

Akiya looked at him, stunned. "You think I am here to try and convince you to return with me?" she asked, just to be sure. "I thought we had already settled this."

Sasuke snorted. "Why else would you give me this bullshit about Konoha and your friends being that important?"

Akiya rolled her eyes. "Alright," she snapped. "Just to make sure you understand it this time: I am _not_ here for you. I talk about them because they are important to me, and I do understand and respect that your priorities are somewhat different to mine. And maybe you could respect my priorities, too, and then we wouldn't have to argue about this nonsense."

Sasuke still glared at her, and Akiya sighed.

"I will never ask you to come back, Sasuke," she said, earnestly and somewhat tiredly. "I swear. It is not in my place to tell you what is right and what is wrong, and I trust you to make the right decisions for you. I know why you are doing this. _I understand._ And I will not ask you to do anything you don't want to do."

"Hn." Sasuke gave his signature grunt and turned his head away, but Akiya knew he believed her. Strangely enough, she was relieved about that, not only because distrust between them would have caused the journey to become very awkward, but also because she wanted him to trust her.

This, she thought, must have been the first sign that she was seriously losing her mind.


	16. Learning to trust

*** Chapter 15 ***

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb  
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home_

_Wake me up inside, wake me up inside  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
Bid my blood to run before I come undone  
Save me from the nothing I've become_

_- Evanescence: Bring me to life - _

* * *

Akiya hummed blithely as she cut the vegetable and threw them into the frying pan. She was actually in a good mood.

The landlord they were supposed to eliminate was due to arrive in this village the following day, and that meant this mission was going to be over soon. Not that Akiya minded being away from the hideout whose constriction she didn't miss at all, but they had gotten word from Kabuto that once they returned, Orochimaru would be present and most eager to meet Akiya.

And Kami knew Akiya was eager to meet him too, because once she had found out about her past and killed him, she would be able to return to Konoha and finally see Kakashi again. Therefore, she wanted to get this over with and go back to the hideout as soon as possible. She would –

"What are you doing there?"

Akiya flinched at the cold voice that suddenly sounded behind her and almost dropped the food. _"Dammit,"_ she thought, angry with herself. She had been so lost in thoughts she hadn't even heard him enter then room.

"I'm fixing my beloved husband something to eat, just as any good wife would," Akiya replied, her voice oozing with sarcasm, and turned to face Sasuke. "Can't you knock like any other civilized person?"

He gave her a blank look. "You shouldn't be so inattentive."

Akiya huffed. Of course he wasn't going to apologize. He never did. And this time she couldn't even blame him, because she _had_ been inattentive.

"Any news?" she asked casually, redirecting her attention to the cooker.

"Hn."

"_Guess that's a no, then,"_ Akiya thought with a sigh.

They had reached the village two days ago and Sasuke had organized a little apartment for them, something Akiya was incredibly grateful for. Not only because, unlike the hotel they had stayed in before, it was clean and bright, but also because it comprised a couch _and_ a bed, meaning that they could both get some sleep. But mostly she liked it because it was remote, and this meant that, even though they pretended to be newlyweds again, they didn't have to keep up the act the entire time.

It would have become a bit strained, Akiya figured, especially seeing how they talked even less now. Not that they had talked much before, but the silence hadn't bothered her so much then. Now she wasn't sure whether he just didn't talk because he didn't feel the need to say anything or because he was still angry. However, Akiya had chosen to ignore him and his aloofness altogether, along with her worries about it.

"Here." She handed him the plates and sat down on the chair next to him.

He sniffed at the food and then proceeded grabbing his chopsticks.

Akiya raised an eyebrow. "What's the verdict?" she asked once he had taken the first bite.

Sasuke merely shrugged. "Edible."

Akiya rolled her eyes.

They ate in silence. Akiya was just about to get up to clean the dishes when Sasuke suddenly spoke up. "We should work out a strategy for tomorrow," he stated calmly. "We will have to work together, and we cannot afford any mistakes."

Akiya was genuinely surprised. Uchiha Sasuke encouraging, no, _demanding_ teamwork? Now that was a new one.

She nodded in agreement. Knowing him, he probably already had something in mind.

"First, though, I would have you tell me the details of the capability of your kekkei genkai," he continued.

Akiya sighed. This had been to be expected. Hesitatingly, she began to outline the facts about her bloodline limit. When she had finished, he nodded thoughtfully.

"Could you...transmit some thoughts at me right now?"

"_Of course I can."_Akiya was highly amused at his obvious astonishment when he heard her voice in his head, and only in his head, because she had never uttered the words.

"Impressive," he murmured. "That could be a great advantage for us. If we can communicate wordlessly, then they will never be able to predict our next moves, while we, on the other hand, can coordinate our attacks perfectly."

"This would involve a lot of order-taking on your side," she commented. "And I would have to read your mind as well. Are you sure you want that?"

Sasuke threw her a look that clearly said "Would I say it if I didn't mean it?" and with that, it was settled.

* * *

Later, Akiya sat in the rocking chair on the porch, watching the sun descend, and sang softly to herself.

"_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart...I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask...I want to exorcise the demons from your heart...I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart..." _

Her fingers drummed on the armrest with the rhythm. She didn't even know what had gotten into her all of a sudden that caused her to sing. It was something she scarcely did, because she wouldn't consider herself a good singer. She wasn't completely tone-deaf either, but still she only did so when no one could hear her.

Luckily, this was the case right now. Sasuke had left again, to find the most suitable spot for an ambush. Akiya had preferred to stay in the apartment – she didn't want many people to see her and later associate her with the attack. He job was to always stay hidden and unrecognized, which was why she had been covering her ANBU tattoo with a _Henge no Jutsu _ever since she didn't have her sweatshirts doing the job anymore.

As always, Sasuke had portrayed no emotions as she had told him she would stay behind. Only when he had heard her reasons he had showed some interest.

"I'd rather not gain a bingo book entry with my true identity," she had stated, and his head had perked up as he noticed what her statement implied.

"You have an entry in the bingo book?" he had asked.

"Uhm...actually, it's three," Akiya had answered slightly embarrassed.

"Three?"

"Hai. Three."

"How did you get them?"

"Killing important persons?" Akiya had shrugged. "That's what people usually do to gain an entry in that infamous book."

Eyeing her suspiciously, he had pulled out his copy of the bingo book and had thrown it on the table. "Which ones are yours?"

Akiya had cleared her throat. "I'd rather not tell you. There's a reason why no one knows these three ninjas are actually the same person, namely me, and I don't want that to change. I might need to use the identities again, after all, and then I wouldn't want you to know that it's me. No one outside of Konoha's walls knows my name, no one knows what I really look like, except for you. Officially, I don't even exist, and it's good that way."

"Typical ANBU," he had commented dryly, and she had almost smiled.

"Probably."

It was true, Akiya thought. She really had become a typical ANBU – almost never betraying emotions, killing without hesitation, following orders obediently. She was glad that Kakashi was always there to keep her sane, to keep her from becoming cruel, like many other ANBU members were. It was a tough job which required tough people, and Akiya was lucky she hadn't lost herself yet.

Her thoughts drifted back to Sasuke again, and she wondered whether he had lost himself. He didn't seem to be very lost in her eyes, but who could now that, seeing as no one was ever able to see behind his mask?

Akiya forced herself to not care about it and was just about to start singing again when she heard steps coming towards the house. She snapped her mouth shut as she felt the by now familiar chakra signature that belonged to Sasuke approaching her.

"We leave at dawn," he told her plainly and disappeared in the apartment.

"Tomorrow it is, then," Akiya mumbled almost inaudibly and got up. Killing the landlord the following day and Orochimaru only a few days later...this sounded like a good plan to her.

Akiya ignored the pang of guilt she felt when the thought crossed her mind that by having her revenge she would steal Sasuke's chance to have his.

* * *

"How many?" Akiya asked Sasuke quietly as they waited for the perfect moment to strike. They were cowering in a treetop while waiting for the group to come nearer. Akiya could already sense them, but she couldn't make out any details. His senses were finer than hers, so he was able to answer her.

"Two squads plus our target."

"_Eight powerful shinobi...and they are all extremely on guard," _Akiya mused. _"This will not be easy."_

Fortunately, they had the element of surprise on their side. Furthermore, they had already set up some death-traps, in the hope that at least one or two of them would stumble into them so that they didn't have to take care of them anymore.

Akiya closed her eyes and concentrated on Sasuke's mind, waiting for his order to attack.

"_Now!"_

They both darted forward, their weapons already in their hands. The landlord screamed as they suddenly appeared in front of his group, attacking his escorts without warning.

They were well organized, Akiya noticed. Two of them retreated with the landlord at once, while the other six charged at her and Sasuke. An acrimonious fight ensued, which took longer than they had anticipated. With each of them having to fight three skilled shinobi at once, they wouldn't be able to defeat them. Exchanging a quick glance with Sasuke, who had just managed to drive his katana through one of his opponents, she decided it was time for their teamwork.

Akiya jumped into the air as Sasuke released a powerful _Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu, _and increased the potency of his jutsu by using her wind natured chakra to feed the flames. Two of the bodyguards weren't fast enough to escape the flames, and Akiya shuddered as she heard their screams and smelt the fetor of burning flesh. Akiya took the opportunity to attack one of his comrades with taijutsu, forcing him to retread further and further into the forest until he stepped over the wire that was hidden between the bushed, and she quickly darted away as the first death trap snapped shut.

Five more to go...

When Akiya reached Sasuke again, he was just using his Chidori to finish off another opponent. The two remaining ones put up more of a fight, while the two that were still guarding the landlord retreated even further.

"_We have to finish this quickly, or he will be out of our reach soon,"_ Akiya sent her thoughts to Sasuke, and he nodded. This fight was lasting too long anyway, and Akiya could feel herself tiring.

"_Do you trust me?"_

Sasuke's unspoken question startled Akiya and almost made her stop dead.

"_Uhm...in theory?"_ she responded hesitatingly, unsure of what he wanted from her. She could sense his annoyance, though, so she figured he was serious about this. She sighed. _"Yes,"_ she admitted begrudgingly. She didn't even know why, but she did.

"_Good,"_ was his flat reply. _"This is what we will do..."_

Akiya's eyes widened when she saw what he was planning. Now she understood why he had asked her whether she trusted him or not. If she didn't, this would never work out. This was extremely dangerous, and if she was only half a second late, or if he didn't aim correctly, she would be dead.

Still, she agreed.

"_Stand in front of me and don't jump out of the way until I tell you so,"_ he ordered sternly, and Akiya obeyed. _"Wait...wait...now!"_

Akiya managed to escape the oodles of shuriken, kunai and explosive tags that suddenly swirled through the air only just in time. Some of them almost hit her feet, but she was faster. Their opponents on the other hands weren't. They had been so completely focused on fighting Akiya that they hadn't expected Sasuke to attack them, especially not when there was a high risk that he would injure his teammate when attacking. And they couldn't have expected his speed. Actually, his speed even surprised Akiya – all she could see while he was throwing the weapons was a blur, nothing more.

Akiya landed on her feet the moment the last of their enemies fell to the ground. Quickly, she and Sasuke pursued the landlord and his two remaining guards. They soon realized that it had been the strongest of them who had stayed behind to protect the noble.

Sasuke and Akiya attacked with their weapons and taijutsu first, not wanting to waste any more chakra. This, as it turned out, wasn't exactly a good idea.

Akiya heard herself scream as Sasuke's chest was slashed open with a kunai that he simply couldn't dodge. "Fuuton: Kazekiri", she yelled, cutting the man in front of her into little pieces with the wind blade, catching him by surprise. Right now she couldn't care less whether she wasted her chakra or not.

She hurried over to Sasuke, who was kneeling on the ground, one hand pressed over the large wound on his chest, and the other hand raised to defend himself against his opponent. A malicious grin appeared on the shinobi's face as he formed some hand signs to finish him off.

But even wounded, Sasuke was faster. He activated his curse mark and went into the first stage, using the extra boost of chakra for his attack.

"Chidori Senbon!"

The glowing needles pierced the man in multiple spots and pinned the landlord, who was standing just behind his guard, to a nearby tree.

"Akiya," Sasuke said through clenched teeth, panting heavily. "Kill him. Now!"

Akiya bit her tongue. She needed to heal his wound first, or he would lose too much blood. Knowing him, however, he probably wouldn't let her until she had done as he said, so she stepped to the already wounded noble with a kunai in her hand.

"Please," he begged, "I didn't do anything..."

"Sorry," Akiya muttered, and cut his throat. Then she hurried back to Sasuke.

"Stop moving!" she ordered sharply and examined his wound. Fortunately, it wasn't as deep as she had feared, even thought there was a lot of blood gushing from it, and wouldn't overstrain her limited healing abilities. Still, she suspected she would have to use up all of her chakra if she wanted to fix this.

She channeled her chakra into her right hand and laid it on the wound.

"Chidori _Senbon_, huh?" she remarked, suppressing a chuckle, while waiting for the healing process to begin. Not too long ago Sasuke had been sneering at her for using them.

"I was inspired by someone," Sasuke answered flatly.

"I guess I should take this as a compliment and feel flattered."

"Hn."

Akiya almost rolled his eyes at the typical monosyllabic grunt and watched as the wound healed shut.

"Thank you," Sasuke murmured.

"You're welcome," Akiya replied weakly. She was incredibly tired. _"Chakra depletion"_ a tiny voice in her head commented. She swayed as she tried to stand up. "Let's get out of here before anyone sees us."


	17. Of caves and and strange feelings

*** Chapter 16 ***

_The darkness has a__ hunger,  
It offers you blood for wild blood  
And you're beyond wondering  
Why you're still not good enough  
There is a glory  
In the pitch of your desire  
And a calm in my gaze  
As my fear retires_

_Our pulses exchange  
We're face to face  
Finally higher  
And wire to wire..._

_- Razorlight: Blood for wild blood – _

* * *

Akiya stumbled. Before she could lose her balance completely and hit the ground, an arm shot forward and a hand quickly grabbed her arm, jerking her to her feet again.

"You really shouldn't have wasted all your chakra on healing me," Sasuke commented disapprovingly.

He really didn't understand why she had done so in the first place. He didn't think she particularly liked him. Not that he cared, but it was hard for him to grasp why she would take a risk to save him.

Akiya merely shrugged in response. "What's worse – me using up all my chakra or you running through the forest losing all your blood?" she asked and added. "You can let go now, by the way."

Sasuke regarded her with a frown. Her words were all mushy and she looked as if she was going to collapse any minute now. This wasn't the first time he had had to prevent her from falling flat on her face, and he knew that this wasn't normal for her, not even when she was running low on chakra.

Still grabbing her arm, he noticed something else: despite being completely soaked by the cold rain that was pouring down, her skin was feverishly hot.

"You are burning up."

"Nah," Akiya replied fuzzily. "Impossible. I'm cold."

And indeed, her whole body was trembling violently and her teeth were chattering. Sasuke groaned inwardly and cursed his luck. He could only hope she didn't suffer from chakra depletion as much as his former sensei had, because he remembered quite clearly how Kakashi had been bed-ridden for several days after one of their missions.

"There's a cave not very far from here. We shall seek shelter there and stay for the night."

"Hm."

"_Great, now she can't even form full sentences anymore"_ Sasuke really groaned this time and, ignoring her insistence that she was very well able to walk alone, pulled her with him.

Somehow, he managed to get her to the cave without incidents and/or a lot of time loss. As soon as they had entered the relatively arid shelter, he let go of her, and Akiya let herself slump to the ground and wrapped her arms around her body.

Sasuke was just about to tell her to put on her cloak when he realised her stuff was nowhere to be seen. _"She must have lost her equipment during the fight",_ he assumed, and without any comment handed her his own, figuring that she would need it more than he would. She mumbled something that sounded like a "Thank you", but he couldn't be sure since her voice was so low that the chattering of her teeth drowned it out.

Frowning slightly, he decided to go try and find some wood that was still dry enough to start a fire. She needed some warmth right now, or otherwise she would probably catch a massive cold as well, and that would delay them even more.

Sasuke silently cursed himself for never learning any medical nin-jutsu. Thanks to Kabuto always being near him, he'd never had to care about that. Now he wished he had done so, so that he could make sure Akiya would be alright. He didn't know why, but he didn't like seeing her like this – fragile and vulnerable and hurt. It made him feel protective - which was even stranger, because he _never _cared for anyone, so why did he care for someone he didn't even really know?

Maybe, he mused, it was because they were so alike – both of them didn't talk much, they had the same goal, and because she wasn't annoying like all the other girls he had met. He felt strangely intrigued by her, and connected to her, because she was the first one ever who _understood_ and didn't question his decisions.

He got lucky and actually found some wood, threw it onto a pile and lit a fire. "Go," he ordered, "lie down next to it so that you can warm yourself up."

Akiya didn't move, though, and he wasn't even sure she had heard him. Impatiently, he grabbed her and shoved her over to the fire, forcing her to lie down. She didn't resist at all, and Sasuke figured that she was already half unconscious. With a sigh, he took out the remaining blanket, spread it over her to provide some more warmth and then sat down next to her and stared into the fire.

* * *

It took two hours until he realised her condition was changing for the worse. Before, she had been sleeping relatively deeply, only shuffling around now and then. Now, she was starting to shiver once again, and when he laid a hand on her forehead, he found that her body had turned ice cold.

"Akiya," he said, trying to shake her awake. "Akiya!"

"So cold," she mumbled almost inaudibly.

Sasuke cursed silently. The fire was heating up the entire cave, but apparently not even that was enough. He didn't really know what to do now, except that he had to warm her somehow. The catch was that he didn't have any blankets, or wood, or additional clothes to do so.

Sasuke sighed heavily. "She is going to kill me for this."

Then again, she couldn't complain if this was what kept her alive.

Slowly, he crawled under the blanket and lay down next to her. Said blanket, he noticed, might as well have been covering a corpse, for there was no single sign of warmth that could have indicated that a living, breathing person lay beneath it. Even though he was a ninja and used to being cold and wet, he was glad that his clothes had already dried off, because otherwise he would have been freezing now as well.

He tried to keep his distance from Akiya, but Akiya instantly moved to come closer to the new source of heat out of reflex. Soon her head was resting on his arm, making it impossible for him to move.

Sasuke twitched slightly. He had never been so close to a woman – not willingly, anyway, because the fangirls that tried to force herself on him didn't count – and he didn't really know how to react. Surprisingly, he didn't find it half as uncomfortable and awkward as he had expected it to be (maybe that was due to the fact that the woman beside him was half delirious), but thought it was rather..._nice._

Well, it might have been more pleasant if Akiya wasn't so fucking cold, and if he wasn't sick with worry. At least she stopped fidgeting and shivering after a while and fell into a light slumber.

Absentmindedly, he began to run his fingers through her hair, wrapping some strands of her soft reddish-brown curls around his fingers – that is, until he realised what he was doing. He stopped at once.

"_What the hell am I doing?"_ he thought angrily. _"What the hell is wrong with me?"_

He glanced down at Akiya, quickly decided that she was warm enough now and this would be the perfect time to get out of there before he lost his mind completely. But he hadn't even begun to move a single muscle when Akiya let out a small moan of disappointment.

"Don't stop," she whispered drowsily and snuggled up closer to him.

Sasuke froze.

He felt...uncomfortable and..._dizzy. _It took him a while until he realised it was because he had stopped breathing.

_Great_. Obviously not only his brain, that seconds before had been screaming at him to get away, had stopped working. He found himself unable to move, because now that he had actually lain down, he felt the fatigue kicking in. It had been a long and hard day for both of them.

At least that was what he told himself to explain why he didn't feel like going anywhere anymore.

* * *

With a content sigh, Akiya snuggled up closer to Kakashi, inhaling his so familiar scent of-

_- Wait, __**what?**_

Akiya went from half-asleep to fully awake in approximately 0,01 seconds, and her whole body went rigid as realization hit her. Kakashi's scent had always reminded her of the forests, of wood, and earth and...well, dogs. It was nothing like rich scent that filled her nose right now. It smelled like the air did after a thunderstorm in summer, when rain had fallen onto the warm ground, thus intensifying the flavour of everything. And she'd be damned if she didn't know who this scent belonged to.

_No. Fucking. Way!_

Akiya's eyes flew open, and sure enough, the person lying next to her was Uchiha Sasuke.

She groaned. Kami must really hate her.

The only positive thing about the situation was that he was obviously fast asleep, because, hell, it would have been embarrassing to wake up and have him realise she was cuddling. "_Kami,"_ she thought, and thanks to the heat that was making its way to her face, she knew that she was blushing like hell.

There were no words to express how grateful she was that he was asleep and completely oblivious to what was going on right now (especially in her mind, which seemed to have shut down temporarily).

Her gaze lingered on his face. It was surprisingly peaceful, she thought, like she had never seen it before. But he also looked exhausted. Frowning slightly, she realised she had no idea what had happened to get her into this situation at all. The last things she could recall were...blurry, as if she had been drunk. She probably had been slightly out of it due to chakra depletion. She did remember it had been raining, however, and she did remember being cold and...then, nothing much, really.

Where were they, anyway? Akiya took a look around. The light that was emanating from the fire Sasuke must have started earlier lit up the room enough to make her see that there were stone walls surrounding them, but they were unlike the ones of Orochimaru's hideout. Therefore Akiya figured that she hadn't been out cold for too long, or at least not long enough for him to carry her back to the hideout. She could hear the faint noise of water dripping down, so it might just still be raining outside.

Since it seemed that her mind was working properly again, she decided to follow her brain's order to get away from the Uchiha as fast as possible. At least there were some parts of her brain she could still rely on, it seemed.

Carefully trying not to wake him (there had been enough awkward situations between them already, she determined, and there wasn't any need for more of them), Akiya rolled over until she had her back to him, thus creating a distance between them and proceeded in lifting the blanket so that she could slip away.

She hadn't even gotten to sit up when she heard him shuffling behind her and his arm sneaked around her waist, successfully pulling her back against his chest.

Akiya froze at the contact, but she was too dumfounded to react in any way. Instead, she just lay there, trying to restart her heart (which, when it did start to beat again, was racing in her chest as if it was trying to achieve a new speed record), and trying to tell herself that she was simply overreacting because she wasn't used to being by anyone and that it had nothing, _absolutely nothing_, to do with the person who was currently pressing her body against his and breathing into her back.

Akiya sighed heavily. Just who was she trying to kid here? Herself? After all she knew best what was going on inside her mind. And there was no denying that recently, Uchiha Sasuke had been occupying her thoughts more often than it was good and healthy. She had been trying to ban him from her thoughts, to get these stupid stupid _stupid_ notions out of her head for days, but she had been failing miserably in doing so. It was undeniable that she actually enjoyed this, and she hated herself for it.

Shinobi rule number 17: "Don't ever sympathise with and/or develop feelings for your enemy."

She knew the rules well. Some had pointed out that she even followed them too precisely. She had never ever had problems following the rules, especially not that particular one. Never. Not a single time.

But now, she found herself gravitating towards him as if he were some kind of magnet and she a piece of metal. She liked him, and there was really nothing she could do about it. Some parts of her didn't even _want_ to do anything about it, and that, she thought, was really really foolish. He wasn't just any enemy, he was _Uchiha Sasuke_, an S-rank criminal, Orochimaru's soon-to-be next vessel, an arrogant, egoistic and cold-hearted man who only thought about his revenge and probably wouldn't hesitate to kill her if it brought him some kind of advantage.

Then again...he wasn't just that, she mused. She'd seen different sides of him by now, and one thing she could say for sure: he was not what she had expected him to be like. Well, not that she had been sure what to expect before setting out on the mission (she had seen both Kakashi's and Yamato's views on him, after all, and they were quite antithetic), but he had proven her first impression to be wrong.

He hadn't given her away. He had even protected her, and obviously taken care of her when she had been ill. She had seen him fight, and even though he excelled at it, it had been obvious that he didn't enjoy killing. And he was visibly disgusted by Orochimaru's experiments.

Uchiha Sasuke was certainly many things, but he was not cruel.

"_This is leading to nothing,"_ she reprimanded herself. _"It doesn't change anything. He is your enemy, so stop wishing it would be different. You shouldn't be interested in him, and _he_ clearly isn't anyway, so get a grip on yourself and focus on what you have to do. You'll be facing Orochimaru soon, so worry about that rather than your idiotic thoughts about things that can never be!"_

She definitely had to get away from him. Akiya made a mental note to herself to avoid Sasuke as much as it was possible once they reached the hideout. But right now, she had to wind herself out of his arms without waking him, before going outside on a long walk to think...


	18. Facing Orochimaru

*** Chapter 17 ***

_Lay beside me  
Tell me what they've done  
Speak the words I want to hear  
To make my demons run  
The door is locked now  
But it's open if you're true  
If you can understand the me  
Then I can understand the you._

_Lay beside me, under wicked sky_  
_Through black of day, dark of night  
We share this pair of lives  
The door cracks open  
But there's no sun shining through  
Black heart scarring darker still  
but there's no sun shining through_

_What I've felt, what I've known_  
_Sick and tired, I stand alone_  
_Could you be there?  
'cause I'm the one who waits for you  
Or are you unforgiven too?_

_- Metallica: The Unforgiven II - _

* * *

Sasuke woke because it felt as if something essential was missing, and it took him a while to figure out that this "something" was the source of warmth that had vanished from his side.

_Damn_. He had hoped to wake before her so that he could sneak out and Akiya wouldn't learn what he had done. Seeing how anxious she was to avoid any sort of physical contact, she might just throw a hissy fit, and he was _so_ not in the mood for anything like that. Sure, throwing a fit wouldn't be like her, but then again, Akiya never seemed to do what he expected her to do.

He blinked his eyes open and caught sight of Akiya, who was meticulously rummaging through his bag of ninja gear.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "Is there anything in particular that you are looking for?" he inquired in his usual impassive voice.

Akiya half-turned. "Ah, so you're awake."

Kami, she made it sound as if _he'd_ been the one out cold. Sasuke restrained himself from rolling his eyes and waited for her to answer his question.

"I'm looking for my stuff."

"You must have lost it during the battle, or maybe on the way here. However, you won't find it in my bag."

There was silence for a moment. Then: "Everything?" came the quiet question.

Sasuke didn't bother to answer that, since she already knew the answer. Being the experienced kunoichi she was, she also knew that they had neither the time nor could take the risk of going back to retrieve it.

"Shit," she said and leaned her back against the cold stone, closing her eyes.

"You can always use a Henge no Jutsu."

"Sure," she replied sarcastically. "Because it doesn't waste my chakra at all to keep it up the entire time."

"It's not as much a waste of chakra as using it all up to heal me was," Sasuke remarked.

"Fine, I'll just let you bleed to death the next time," she snapped angrily.

_Kami, why did women have to be that annoying?_

"I'm not saying I do not appreciate your actions," he said, and his voice was only that calm and controlled because he tried _very_ hard not to snap back. "I'm merely stating that it might not be wise to exhaust your chakra reserves when it would have sufficed to stop the bleeding. Had anyone attacked us you wouldn't have been able to defend yourself anymore, and I might not have been capable of protecting you either. I don't even want to think about what might have happened. And I certainly do not want to have to worry about you dying or being sick or-"

Sasuke stopped abruptly as he realised he had started to talk himself into a rage, and he was giving far too much away. Where was all of this coming from, anyway?

Akiya must have noticed the concern in his voice because she just stared at him, completely stunned by his sudden outburst. Then she sighed.

"Sorry," she murmured.

Sasuke shook his head. Why was she apologizing?

At least it seemed that she was safe and sound again. He wasn't sure whether she had fully recovered from the chakra depletion yet, but she would be fit enough to continue their return journey to the hideout.

They sat in silence for a while, until Sasuke announced that it was time to get going. They warmed up some rice, then extinguished the fire and started packing their ninja gear, which was quickly done. Sasuke was just about to store his kunai in his pouch when she finally addressed him.

"Sasuke?"

"Hn," he grunted, letting her know he was listening.

"Thank you."

His head perked up and turned to look at her questioningly, although he knew exactly what she was thanking him for. He just wouldn't have expected her to do so, but her voice was serious and genuine, so he figured she meant what she had said.

"It's nothing you have to thank me for. It was nothing."

"Well, thank you anyway."

For the first time since he knew her, the corners of her mouth curled up into a soft, genuine smile. He could see every detail of her delicate features because she was standing closer to him than he had anticipated, and neither of them made any move to increase the distance between them.

Her eyes wandered to the black mark on his neck. "When we were fighting, you activated the curse mark." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes."

"Does it hurt?" she asked softly.

Sasuke blinked in surprise. "Sometimes," he admitted after a moment of hesitation. In truth, it hurt every time, but it was only a dull, throbbing pain that he had gotten used to over time. It wasn't nearly as painful as staying in the second stage for too long, and hardly worth mentioning.

"It resembled flames spreading all over your body," she murmured. "Do you think they would burn me if I touched them?" Akiya raised her right hand but dropped it before she actually touched him.

Sasuke tensed, thinking that the chakra depletion must have had some side effects on her, because she usually didn't behave that way. "I wouldn't try it if I were you."

She smiled her mysterious smile again. "I don't think it would hurt me...unless you wanted it to."

She reached out for him again, slowly and hesitatingly, but again, she stopped halfway. Their gazes locked and he found himself drowning in the depth of her dark green eyes. "I don't think you want to hurt me."

"Akiya," he said, leaning closer and speaking in a low and husky voice. "Don't trust me. _Ever_. I _am_ a selfish bastard after all. You will never know when I will use you or betray you."

She stiffened slightly, and he thought the warning had probably been clear enough. He took a step back, and then another, because he really had to get away from this woman who messed with his head and his self-control, but at the same time he hated himself for putting a distance between them..._again_.

"Don't trust me. Don't," he repeated and turned to step out of the cave.

* * *

Akiya shifted nervously. They were only a few minutes away from their destination, and that meant she was going to face Orochimaru soon. And _that_ meant that most likely either the snake Sannin or she was going to be dead by the end of the day.

Sasuke glanced at her. "When the time comes that you need to leave sound, I will help you," he said slowly.

"Don't make promises you won't be able to keep. I might hold you to it."

"I usually keep my promises."

"Please correct me if I am mistaken, but weren't you the one to advise me not to trust you?" Akiya replied somewhat sharply.

Sasuke chose not to reply and dropped the subject. Of course. They hadn't mentioned that conversation or any of the occurrences in the cave ever again, but had pretended none of this had ever happened. It had been better that way – it had prevented the awkwardness that would have been bound to follow if they hadn't ignored it. Still, the silence between them hadn't been as comfortable as before. There was a tension between them, which they refused to acknowledge in any way, but it was undeniably there, constantly bugging her and putting her on the edge.

Akiya forced herself to push these thoughts out of her head (which wasn't half as easy as she had wanted it to be) and concentrate on what was about to come. Before she had even registered it, they had reached the hideout and Sasuke had disappeared into the dark corridors. Taking a deep breath, she followed him through the subterranean labyrinth, and soon they were standing in front of the large room in which Akiya had had to fight Arashi.

As always, Sasuke didn't bother to knock. He pushed the heavy door open and entered the arena without waiting for her. He was greeted by a sickly-sweet voice that sent shudders down Akiya's spine, for it was alarmingly familiar.

_Orochimaru._

"Ah, Sasuke-kun, you have arrived at last. I trust you have fulfilled your mission?"

"Hn." Sasuke didn't return the greeting, nor did he address the Sannin with the respect Akiya would have thought Orochimaru would request. It mildly surprised her that the power-hungry man allowed Sasuke to be so disrespectful towards him. Then again, they were talking about his future vessel here...and in a way, Orochimaru was dependent on Sasuke, too, and of course he would try to keep the Uchiha happy.

"Sasuke-kun, don't be so disrespectful!" another familiar voice scolded. So Kabuto was present as well.

"_Just my luck...I might have to fight not only Orochimaru, then."_

Said Sannin was chuckling at Kabuto's attempt to teach Sasuke manners and brushed it off. Fortunately, he decided at this very moment to send his right hand to run an errand, so she wouldn't have to care about Kabuto now. As soon as the medic had left the arena through another door, he turned towards Sasuke.

"Now, Sasuke-kun, where is that interesting girl Kabuto told me about? I hope you brought her along, because I would be most disappointed if I didn't get to see her myself soon."

Wordlessly, Sasuke took a step aside, thus revealing Akiya before she had the time to decide whether it would be wise use a _Henge no Jutsu_ and disguise herself for the time being or fight Orochimaru at once. She really wanted to throw him another death glare, but she didn't have the time for that now. Akiya desperately wished that Sasuke would leave – then she would be able to question Orochimaru before fighting him without having to worry about what he would do.

Bracing herself and carefully keeping her countenance, Akiya stepped through the entrance."Orochimaru-sama," she addressed the shinobi in front of her formally, who was eyeing her curiously.

For a moment, she thought he hadn't recognised her. It wouldn't have been surprising – her outward appearance had changed quite a lot during the past two years. But after a few seconds, Orochimaru blinked and then burst out laughing. From the corner of her eye, Akiya could see Sasuke's confused frown.

"Now, now, what do we have here? Umeko Midori – who would have thought we would ever meet again?"

_Umeko Midori..._ Akiya kept her facial expression neutral and carefully composed, even though inside she was anything but. "And here I thought you would have forgotten about me."

Orochimaru laughed again. "Oh, my dear, one never forgets his most precious toy," he said, licking his lips. Akiya had problems not to grimace in disgust. She threw a quick glance at Sasuke and could see the understanding dawning on his face and then focused on the snake Sannin again.

"So this used to be my name? Umeko Midori?"

"Ah, yes, Kabuto told me that you didn't remember anything. It's a shame, really...I should have made sure you couldn't escape. I'm sure you would have served me well. Tell me, little Midori – or _Akiya_, isn't that how you call yourself now? – did you develop your clan's kekkei genkai? I would have given so much to possess it...you should know that I experimented on your family for quite a while, but, unfortunately, I was never able to fully understand it...and no matter what I tried, I could never gain it or work with it. Your mother claimed this was because only the women of your clan possessed this rare ability and since I was a man, I could never gain it...but well, now that you are here, I am sure Kabuto and I will be able to fix this little problem."

"Like hell you will," Akiya hissed furiously, causing Orochimaru to grin widely.

"So you're a feisty one...good. I like this; it makes everything so much more interesting. You are sure to put up more of a fight than your mother and sister, who were so willing to die to protect you."

He licked his lips greedily again, and that was when Akiya snapped. Right now she didn't care that she still didn't know much about her past – with her family name known, she would be able to some research on her own. The only thing she thought about now was that she had to kill Orochimaru –_ now_!

A blink of an eye later, she charged at him.

Unfortunately, someone was faster. Before she could even touch the snake Sannin, cool hands grabbed her wrists and held her back. Akiya saw the blood-red colour of the Sharingan flash, and as she felt the genjutsu he cast on her take effect, she knew that this was over before it had even begun.

* * *

Orochimaru chuckled as Akiya slumped down, knocked out by Sasuke's genjutsu. The Uchiha caught her with ease and unceremoniously threw her body over his shoulder.

"I'll take her to a safe room."

"Do that, Sasuke-kun, do that." Orochimaru's tongue flicked across his lower lip and he smiled evilly. "I will take care of her later..."


	19. Give me your heart and your soul

*** Chapter 18 ***

'cause I want it now  
I want it now  
Give me your heart and your soul  
I'm not breaking down  
I'm breaking out  
Last chance to lose control

_And I want you now  
I want you now  
I feel my heart explode  
And I'm breaking out  
Escaping now  
Feeling my faith erode_

_- Muse: Hysteria –_

* * *

As soon as Sasuke had entered his room and slammed the door shut and locked it, he released the genjutsu on Akiya. Instantly, her eyes flew open and she started to squirm and struggle against his hold. He set her down ruggedly and easily dodged the blow she had aimed at him by catching her by the wrist – again.

"You idiot!" he hissed angrily. "Do you even know what you were doing?"

"_I_ don't know what I'm doing – _**I**_ don't? You _bastard_!" Akiya screamed furiously and yanked her arm free. "Do you ever think about anyone but yourself? You would do anything to have your revenge, but I'm not allowed to have mine? You are such a fucking hypocrite, making me think you would understand and-"

Sasuke frowned, not paying too much attention to her raging rant. She thought he held her back because it would lessen his chances to have his revenge? Was she really that blind? Didn't she realize that she wouldn't have stood a chance against Orochimaru – or, well, maybe she would have, seeing how his body was growing weaker every day, but still, there had been the possibility of her losing the battle, and what would have become of her then? She was the one who had claimed to find it easy to read people. So why didn't she see his true reasons? Why was she too blind to see he had pulled her back because he was afraid he would see her get hurt?

And to think that he had wanted to protect Orochimaru…Kami, the mere _thought_ of him touching her was unbearable and made him want to throttle the snake bastard.

"- of course you wouldn't let me kill Orochimaru, because you need his strength and you can only get this by being his next vessel and you just can't see that this is even one more reason to kill him because I just can't stand the thought of you being….being…" Akiya stopped with a noise that sounded almost like a broken sob, obviously at a loss of words, but he had very well heard the unspoken words:

"…_I just can't stand the thought of you being consumed by him. The thought of you dying."_

For a moment, all Sasuke could do was stare at her, and taking in her ragged breathing, her flushed cheek and the half angry, half despaired flash in her eyes made his brain go on temporary lock-down and caused him to do something he would have never ever done had he been in his senses. Uchihas had impeccable self-control and _never _let it slip.

Yet, he pulled her close with a swift movement and crushed his lips on hers.

* * *

Akiya's first coherent thought when she realised Sasuke was kissing her was, as she had to admit later, extremely unromantic:

"_What – the – hell?"_

Akiya reacted solely on instinct, and right now, all of her instincts, as well as every cell of her body, were screaming _"Too close!"_ Her body went rigid and she pushed him away with all the force she could muster.

This time, he wasn't fast enough to stop her before she slapped him in the face.

She stared at him with wide eyes and panting heavily, still not able to comprehend what had just happened. For the blink of an eye, something flickered in his eyes, before the invisible, composed mask shifted back on his face. It had been less than a second, but Akiya had still been able to recognize it.

_Hurt._

It couldn't have been physical pain – her blow hadn't been that hard, and she hadn't put that much force in it - and even if she had, he would have probably laughed it off. No, his pain had been caused by rejection.

Akiya's head was spinning and one could almost hear the rumbling of the small wheels working in hear head as realisation dawned on her.

He had kept her secret. He had trained with her. He had taken care of her when she had been sick. He had prevented her from attacking Orochimaru.

He had _kissed_ her.

Oh Kami, she had _so_ screwed it up.

"Sasuke..." she began, unsure of what to say, because she couldn't really say 'I'm sorry' or 'I feel the same way about you', but he didn't give her any time to find the right words.

"Pardon me," he said, his eyes as cold as they had been the day of their first meeting. Akiya thought that she had never really realised how warm those pitch-black eyes could be, how warm they _had_ been when he had looked at her before. "It won't happen again."

Akiya felt a twinge of pain shoot through her body as she absorbed his words and saw how he took a step back. The thought of him putting a distance between them again, of him leaving her ripped her apart. She might have been strong enough to endure this before, but back then, she never once would have thought he would return her feelings. Now that she knew, how could she ever let him go?

He started to turn to walk away, but she was faster. Throwing all her doubts and objections aside, she pulled him back, flung her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Sasuke froze for a good five seconds, clearly too stunned to react, and Akiya already feared that it was too late. Thank Kami, he did have hormones, though, and he was unable to resist the closeness of the woman he was already attracted to anyway. Akiya almost sighed in relief as his lips finally began to move against hers.

His arms slid around her waist and he pressed her body against his, effectively deepening the kiss, and Akiya found she didn't mind being that close to him at all. She had never longed for a person's touch before, not even Kakashi's (even though she's never minded him touching her either, but this was a completely different story and a relationship on a different level, after all), but now she wouldn't have been disinclined to stay right where she was for the rest of her life.

Sasuke pulled back just a little bit, giving her some time to catch her breath again. "You are an idiot," he told her matter-of-factly in between their kisses.

"You are an asshole," she countered casually, and Sasuke chuckled quietly before attacking her lips again. He took her face between his hands and ran his tongue over her lower lips, asking for entrance, and Akiya complied eagerly, letting him explore as he wished. His tongue pushed against hers, teasing her into action, and soon neither of them was thinking about where they were and why this wasn't the best time to do this anymore. Akiya's mind was utterly blank aside from the need of being close to him, and she was sure Sasuke's wasn't much better, especially when things started to get a little bit more heated.

Sasuke leaned in even more, forcing Akiya to take a step back in order to not lose her balance, and he pushed her forward until she couldn't retreat any further. Her back hit the wall with quite some force, but Akiya didn't even feel the pain that shot down her spine. All that mattered to her right now, all she could think about were the feeling of Sasuke's body against hers, his hungry kisses and the heat that was spreading over her entire body. His hands began to roam her body, leaving her skin tingling. In response, her fingers dug into his hair (which was way softer than she had expected him to be), deepening the kiss. Now she was kind of grateful for being trapped between Sasuke and the cool stone, because her knees felt quite wobbly and they might just have given in had he not pinned her against the wall.

She had to break the kiss eventually for the lack of air, but even now his lips never left her skin. They brushed against her cheekbones and the contours of her chin before wandering down further, and Sasuke began to place a trail of kisses down her neck.

Akiya gasped quietly, but tried to win back control over the (tiny) parts of her brain which were still functioning correctly and listen to the rational reasons said parts gave her to stop making-out, regardless of how mind-blowing this was.

"Sasuke," she murmured, trying very hard not to think about what he was doing to her neck. "I have to get out of here."

His voice was surprisingly calm and clear (dammit, didn't this affect him at all?) when he answered. "I know," he said quietly against her skin, still not stopping his kisses. "The guards change at midnight, and this usually produces a huge chaos. We will take the opportunity to slip out then. They won't find us here – not even Orochimaru knows which room I occupy, and even if he decided to look for you know, the hideout is too big for him to search it entirely before we get out."

"We?"

"You," he corrected himself, finally pulling away from her to throw her a serious glance, warning her not to ask him to come with her.

Akiya sighed. "I thought so."

"Akiya, I _cannot_ go just now."

"I know," she whispered. "I don't blame you."

Sasuke didn't answer, and Akiya buried her head in the crook of his neck, cherishing every moment of being close to him. She knew very well that if she left now, she might never see him again. Yes, she could question his decision, but she knew she couldn't change his mind, so she wouldn't waste her breath and try to persuade him to forsake what he had been fighting for his entire life. She couldn't ask it of him. But the mere thought of Orochimaru taking over his body tore her apart.

As if sensing what she was thinking, he said "I won't let him use my body as a vessel. He will grow weak soon, and he won't be able to defend himself."

Akiya really hoped he was right.

She didn't have much time to worry about the what-ifs. Sasuke put his hand under her chin and lifted it up, forcing her to look at him, and she found herself drowning in his onyx eyes again.

The moment didn't last long enough. A second later, his lips were on hers again, not that Akiya would complain. His hands wandered over her body again, leaving a trail of fire behind, and Akiya shivered in delight as his cool fingers brushed against her bare skin where her top had slid up a tiny bit. No one had ever touched her like this, but although she was scared, Akiya didn't flinch away from his touch. This wasn't really like her, she thought, but right now she didn't care. She _trusted_ him.

She couldn't escape anyway, and she didn't want to, either. On the contrary, she wanted to be as close to him as possible, to lose herself in him, to give him everything she had, because this could have been the only chance to show him she loved him. He may be dead soon, no, either of them could die soon (they were shinobi, after all, and they led a dangerous life), and this might just be the only chance for them to be together. She longed to give him everything, heart, body and soul, because somehow along the way, she had become his, and she knew that although he would probably never admit it, he was giving her everything he had as well.

Akiya's hands slipped down to his chest, feeling the muscles beneath the skin. Before, once she had realised that she was attracted to him, she had found it hard to push the thoughts about this pleasant sight out of her mind and had silently cursed about his attire. Now that she was probably officially allowed to ogle, she was very glad he wore a shirt that revealed his well toned chest.

Sasuke's hands found the way under her top and she moaned quietly as they slowly proceeded further upwards, massaging her skin. He smirked into the kiss, and Akiya could sense the smugness he emanated. It was clearly a challenge, and one Akiya wouldn't back down from, at least not now that her brain was mush anyway. She could feel his arousal, and so she ground her hips against his. Unable to control himself, a low, guttural groan escaped his lips, and if it was possible he pressed his body even closer to hers, until there was absolutely no space in between them anymore.

His hands abandoned her sides and slipped down to her thighs, supporting her as she wrapped her legs around his torso. Again, Akiya couldn't help but moan at the friction of his hardened member against her most sensitive area. She really tried to stifle the weak noises she made, but being the splendid ninja he was, he of course didn't miss it. Akiya would have expected him to make some sort of comment (even if it was only a smirk or a chuckle), but his breathing was becoming quite laboured, too, so his only reaction was to push them away from the wall and carry her over to the bed on the opposite side of the room.

Akiya quickly kicked off her shoes before he laid her down more gently than she would have expected. A second later, he was above her, his weight pushing her down into the soft mattress.

He was working on her neck again, kissing and sucking and nibbling gently, and then ran his tongue along her collarbone, while his hands made their way up her top again. As soon as she had slid his shirt off his shoulder and tossed it aside, Sasuke began to pull the black fabric over her head, revealing her laced black bra. He took a moment to marvel at the sight, his eyes filled with lust, before he began to fumble with the hook of her bra. Once unhooked, the piece of underwear was thrown through the room unceremoniously and he turned his full attention to her now exposed breasts, flicking his tongue over her nipples and sucking on them.

Her hitched breath was affirmation enough to let him know how much she enjoyed this, as well as her hands, which were now tugging impatiently at the rope that was bound around his hips. Akiya managed to untie the knot, and the rope fell to the floor, along with the cloth that was draped under it, and then let her hands wander around, up his back and over his shoulder, and then down to his abdomen, caressing his skin, trying to memorize every inch of it.

Sasuke groaned as her slender fingers came dangerously near the waistband of his trousers, and with that, near his hardened member. He ground his hips into hers again, making her whimper as heat shot from her core through her entire body, and her back arched in the attempt to close even the tiniest distance between them. His fingers hooked under the hem of her pants and pulled them down, leaving her in only her underpants, which soon had to face the same fate as her bra and other clothing, and landed somewhere on the other side of the room.

Akiya shivered as the cold air hit her heated centre, but she wasn't left freezing for long, and even if his body hadn't warmed her, she would have been far too wrapped up in concentrating on what he was doing to her body to notice the cold. His lips claimed hers again, while one of his hands slid down between her thighs. She gasped at the contact, and he took advantage of the situation and shoved his tongue into her mouth again.

"Kami," he murmured against her lips. "You are so hot and _wet_."

His velvety voice sent shivers of pleasure and arousal down her spine. And then, without a warning, his finger entered her. Akiya drew in a sharp breath, not from pain but from the surprise of being invaded. His finger moved around, exploring her soft walls, and Sasuke soon added a second finger, pumping them in and out at a painfully slow pace. Akiya moaned into the kiss and lifted her hips ever so slightly, giving him better access.

"Sasuke," she whispered, her voice thick with lust. Right now, she wouldn't have cared if Orochimaru had entered the room (well, okay, she would have killed him for interrupting, but she certainly wasn't thinking about fleeing at the moment). The sensation of pleasure inside of her was building up steadily with every moment that passed, and Kami, she needed him _now_ or she was going to explode.

Her hands reached down to his groin and she began to tug on his pants and successfully pulled them down far enough. Sasuke groaned as her hand brushed against his now fully erect member, and he pulled his fingers out of her, just to position himself at her entrance.

He stopped for a second, staring into her eyes intently, and Akiya realised he was actually _asking_ for permission.

It was in this moment of hesitation that she realised he wasn't completely sure of what to do either. She had never done this before (not willingly, anyway, because being raped certainly didn't count), and neither had he. Up until now, they had let themselves be guided by their instincts, and it had been easier than she would have expected it to be. For the first time, Akiya was somewhat glad that she didn't remember all of what had been done to her, because then she certainly would have been scared shitless of what she was about to do. She was nervous enough as it was, but she also knew she wanted this.

Her eyes told him everything he needed to know.

He entered her with one swift movement. Akiya gasped for breath at the unfamiliar sensation and her fists clenched in his hair, pulling his head down so that she could kiss him. Sasuke began to thrust into her, slowly at first but steadily increased the pace as his need for release grew. Her moans were soon joined by his groans and pants, and her back arched, because she needed to feel him deeper inside her.

"You are _mine_", he growled lowly, and Kami, only hearing his voice sent shivers of pleasure through her entire body. If things went on like this, she certainly wasn't going to last long.

Akiya let out a small cry as he hit a certain spot, and her pleasure was perpetually growing as he thrust into her again and again, until finally, she came, and the world around her exploded into a thousand sparkling lights, and as her walls contracted around him, it sent Sasuke over the edge, too.

After it, they just lay there, their bodies still intertwined, because neither of them was willing to move just yet, and tried to recover their breathing. Akiya sighed blissfully and snuggled up to him. She found it hard to believe how she could feel so complete when she had just given everything she had to him. Unable to hide her smile she buried her head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his familiar and beloved scent, but Sasuke pulled back a bit to look at her face.

"You should smile more often," he murmured as he pushed a strand of her completely messed up hair behind her ear and caressed her face.

"So should you," Akiya retorted, and really, for the first time his lips actually curled into a genuine, _happy_ smile before he bent down to kiss her once more. It was his way of saying 'I love you', and it was okay that he didn't express his feelings with words, because he had never been good at that, but Akiya knew anyway.

And just for this moment, everything was perfect.


	20. Goodbyes and hellos

*** Chapter 19 ***

_Meet me on the Equinox  
Meet me halfway  
When the sun is perched at its highest peak  
In the middle of the day_

_Let me give my love to you  
Let me take your hand  
And as we walk in the dimming light  
Oh darling understand_

_That everything, everything ends  
That everything, everything ends_

_- Death Cab for Cutie: Meet me on the equinox –_

* * *

The hours seemed to rush by, and midnight came way too fast. Akiya had spent the time tracing the faint silver scars that ran over Sasuke's skin, unable to stop touching him, yet still always listening for footsteps that might come down the corridor and force them to leave sooner as they intended to.

Sasuke had a lot less scars than she had, she noticed. Trust Orochimaru to take care of his next vessel as good as possible.

She had just stepped out of the bathroom after taking a quick shower as loud noises and screams sounded through the hideout. Akiya tensed, but Sasuke, being used to life in the hideouts, remained completely unfazed.

"The guards will change soon," he said and slipped into the sleeves of his shirt. "That's why they are making that much noise. They are waiting for an opportunity to escape."

"Just like us."

"Come." Sasuke took her hand, dragged her out of his room to one of the narrower corridors. "We'll take the quickest and largely unknown route."

The screams grew more and more distant as he led her through the dark labyrinth. Akiya found herself wondering how many times he had roamed around the hideout to memorize all of this until he was able to find his way even in utter darkness, and without the slightest hesitation.

A few minutes later, the musty smell of the air was replaced by a light, cool breeze which had sprung up and gushed through the corridors, and soon the feeble moonlight illuminated their way until they had reached the exit.

As happy as Akiya was to get away from this place, it was far too soon. She didn't want to leave Sasuke, because she wouldn't know what would happen, and it tore her apart. Akiya knew well she couldn't afford those feelings, but what was she to do? She couldn't just stop caring. She couldn't just stop being afraid of what was to come, of what would happen to him. There was so much that could go wrong. What if he couldn't defeat Orochimaru and the Sannin took over his body? What if she never saw him again? What if-

Sasuke spoke up, thus interrupting her internal panic attack.

"Take the route west first; there is a small village where you can get supplies without being noticed or betrayed to Orochimaru. He won't expect you to go there, either. I'll make sure you will have enough of a head start."

"Okay."

There was a moment of awkward silence. Neither of them wanted to move, to say goodbye, to leave, but both of them knew she had to go as soon as possible. A second later, Sasuke pulled her close and kissed her.

"You should go now," he murmured in between the kisses, but he didn't let go. Eventually, though, he pulled away and took a step back. "Go."

Akiya hesitated. "Sasuke…"

Was she mistaken or was someone coming their way?

Sasuke must have heard it to, because his gaze grew wary and his voice was a bit sharper when he repeated his words. "Go."

Quickly, Akiya pulled the amulet over her head and pressed it into his hands. "Take this," she told him. "It might help you to fulfill your goal."

"I-"

Akiya smiled. "I expect you to return it to me," she warned him, silently telling him that if he didn't or got himself killed, she would be very _very_ angry.

Sasuke nodded, and Akiya gave him a last quick kiss. Whoever was approaching was coming closer every second, and she knew she needed to go now.

"Run," Sasuke murmured against her lips, and pushed her away from him. _"Run."_

And then she ran.

* * *

The full moon bathed the world in a silvery light, but Akiya had no time to appreciate or admire the beauty of the landscape. She just kept running as fast as she could, until about two hours later, she reached the village Sasuke had talked about.

It didn't really deserve the name "village", it was rather an accumulation of a few tiny shacks. The people living here must have been very poor and earned their living with farming. But it was in the middle of the night, and she couldn't just wait until they woke to start their day. She preferred not being seen by anyone anyway – it would be better for the civilians not to get involved, too. So Akiya broke into one of the smaller shacks, which turned out to be a store room. Although "breaking in" was the wrong term, considering that the door wasn't even locked. Kami, did these people not take into consideration that they were living in a dangerous world and could be robbed easily?

Akiya tiptoed across the room and found an old and perforated piece of cloth to use as a bag, and started to stuff some edibles and a blanket into it. If everything went well she wouldn't need a lot of supplies because she would reach fire country soon, and then she wouldn't have to hide anymore and would be able to buy everything she needed on a local market.

She hesitated before turning to leave. She felt terribly guilty for stealing the little possessions these people owned from them. Quickly, she estimated how much she would have paid for the food had she bought them regularly, and decided to leave the money on one of the storage racks. It was probably even more than she would have had to pay – she was sure the prices were a lot higher in fire country than in sound, but she didn't care, because she could afford it easily and it wouldn't hurt to do some good.

Without making any sound at all, Akiya slid out of the shack, closed the door behind her and resumed her flight.

She moved for another hour or so, until she was positive to have put enough distance between her and the hideout. She seriously needed to rest little if she didn't want to exhaust herself. Akiya stopped at a little clearing, panting heavily. There was a little stream flowing nearby, making gurgling sounds, reminding Akiya of just how thirsty she was. With a sigh, she fell to her knees, splashed water on her face and gulped down the deliciously cool and fresh water.

Only then did she allow herself to break down.

She leaned her back against a tree trunk and pulled her knees to her chest, trying very hard to suppress the violent sobs that were threatening to make their way up her throat and leave her mouth.

Kami, how could she have been so stupid?

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

_Shinobi rule number 17: "Don't ever sympathise with and/or develop feelings for your enemy."_

She had completely ignored the rule. No, worse than that, she had _broken_ it, and she had been fully aware of her actions. And of course she couldn't just fall in love with any enemy, no, it had to be the one man who would most likely cause her the greatest pain ever, whether he wanted to or not. And he would cause her pain, of that she was sure.

She was already missing him. No, missing was an understatement. Every fibre of her body longed to be with him. Akiya felt as if something essential had been taken from her, as if someone had cut out a part of her heart and thrown it away.

How could she have let herself become so dependent on, so _addicted _to a person within a few weeks?

Akiya honestly didn't know what it was about him that made her defensive walls crumble so easily. She had never really trusted anyone, except for Kakashi and maybe Genma. Yes, she had been able to rely on some other shinobi when being on missions, but even that had taken her a long time, and it couldn't be compared to her relationship with Sasuke in any way. She hadn't been able to fight her feeling, and if she was true to herself, she hadn't even wanted to.

Looking back now, she thought that it probably would have been better to never get him so close in the first place. Then she wouldn't feel torn apart now. She wouldn't cry over him if she heard he had died. She wouldn't sympathise with Kakashi and Naruto, and, Kami, even _Sakura_, whose pain she suddenly understood – she probably felt the double amount of their pain at the moment.

And yet, Akiya couldn't bring herself to regret it.

She didn't regret a single moment, and she didn't want to miss the memories of his onyx eyes looking into hers, his lips on hers, his hands roaming her body, or his-

_Oh Kami!_

Akiya bolted upright as a very important thought crossed her mind:

She had slept with him. Without any contraception. Since she had never shown any interest in any man, she had never been on birth-control, and, well, she had been too occupied with other things to think about this before.

Akiya tried to slow her breathing. _"No panic attack now,"_ she tried to calm herself. Like any kunoichi, she had gotten some lessons on how to prevent a pregnancy with certain herbs, because a lot could happen on missions, especially to females. She clearly remembered what the plant she needed looked like, but she had no idea whether this stuff grew in this area.

Thinking hard, Akiya got up and brushed the dust from her clothes. She had two options now:

_One-_ trying to get to Konoha (or at least into fire country) as fast as possible and seek out someone who could give her some pills. The good thing about this was that she wouldn't have to do any experiments and wouldn't lose as much time. The drawback was that it might be too late by the time she reached someone who could help her.

_Two-_ spending hours searching the right plant, with the possibility that she might not even find it, and facing the danger of being caught if she took too long.

Despite the cons, Akiya opted for the second way.

She got lucky. After half an hour of frantically searching the forest's ground, she found the right herbs. Akiya sighed relieved, cut a bunch of the plants and began to pluck the leaves off the stalk. Then she made her way back to the stream, cleaned them and chewed a handful of the light green leaves. She really had to force herself not to spit them out again at once from disgust – they were so bitter that they made her feel like throwing up. Yet she willed herself to chew them thoroughly before swallowing. Grimacing, she shoved the remaining leaves into her bag, thinking that she'd be chewing more of them later, just to make sure, and drank some more water to free her mouth from the bitter taste.

The sky was already getting lighter. Akiya cursed silently. The early sunrise would force her to move with even more cautiousness, now that the darkness didn't engulf her anymore she would be spotted easily if she ever came near a road.

Her thoughts wandered back to Sasuke. She wondered what he was doing now, and whether Orochimaru or Kabuto had already noticed her absence. He'd probably get into trouble for letting her escape, and she could only hope that he wouldn't be punished for his actions – then again, Orochimaru wouldn't inflict his next vessel any harm.

Or would he?

Akiya shook her head. She didn't have the time to think about that now. She had to get to Konoha as soon as possible, and this was all she should concentrate on right now. Nothing more, nothing less.

Still, she couldn't prevent the picture of a certain dark haired shinobi invading her mind almost constantly.

* * *

With a soft thud, a slender figure landed on the windowsill of Tsunade's office. The Hokage and Kakashi turned around to face a person they hadn't expected to see.

"Akiya?"

Cracking a smile, said kunoichi hopped off the wall and strode towards Kakashi, who immediately pulled her into a hug.

"It's good you are back," he told her with a sigh. "I was already starting to worry about you."

"I'm fine," she reassured him, but Kakashi had the feeling there was something different about her, something he couldn't name. Maybe it was because she looked so exhausted, he mused. The dark circles beneath her eyes were witnesses of many sleepless nights, and she seemed to have lost some weight again, probably due to her long (and obviously very fast) travel back to Konoha.

"Akiya," Tsunade addressed her with a stern voice, "what can you tell us about Orochimaru's plans? Was your mission successful?"

"I guess you could say so."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "I will call for the village elders. And then, I want you to tell me everything."


	21. Identity

*** Chapter 20 ***

_On the ground I lay  
Motionless in pain  
I can see my life flashing before my eyes  
Did I fall asleep? Is this all a dream?  
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare_

_I will not die  
I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive, when you're beside me  
I will not die  
I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying_

_-__ Three Days Grace: Time of dying – _

* * *

"What did you find out?"

Tsunade's voice was stern, just as the elders' gazes were as they looked Akiya up and down with the usual distrust. It made her wonder how Tsunade had been able to persuade them to assign her the mission of spying on Orochimaru, seeing how the elders still thought she would betray the village. Maybe she hadn't even told them at all...who knew? Tsunade was unpredictable.

"The hideout I was in was quite large, in the middle of Sound. A huge underground labyrinth, filled with his 'experiments'..." Akiya began her report and rattled through the course of her mission, giving the most important facts. "When I came there, Orochimaru wasn't there – I had to wait for weeks until he returned."

"That explains why you are so late," Tsunade commented. "We were already getting worried." She threw a pregnant glance in Kakashi's direction, who had, surprisingly, been allowed to stay.

Akiya nodded the affirmative. "Hai. I might have been able to gather the necessary information from his right hand man Kabuto, but I wanted to be sure. "

"What are Orochimaru's plans?"

"Konoha isn't in immediate danger at the moment," Akiya explained. "He has considered attacking again, but he won't do this before he has a new vessel."

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Now is that good or bad for us?" she asked. "It sure means we have more time to prepare for an attack, but if he uses Uchiha Sasuke as a vessel, I fear we will face major problems, especially since we will never know when and where he will attack." She sighed again. "I get the feeling I would have preferred an attack before he took over the Uchiha kid's body."

Elder Homura and Koharu agreed with her.

"It's good for us," Akiya contradicted and gained surprised and disbelieving looks.

"Explain," elder Koharu commanded sharply.

Akiya hesitated, unsure of how much she could actually say without giving herself away. They mustn't know of her relationship to Sasuke, and in fact it would even be better if they thought they hadn't even spent time together.

"As it is now," she said slowly, "Uchiha Sasuke has no intentions to let Orochimaru take his body as a vessel."

Both Tsunade and the elders (and Kakashi, too) looked at her as if she had just grown another head or something. Obviously this piece of information made quite an impact, because elder Homura's mouth was hanging wide agape.

"Could you say that again?"

So Akiya repeated her words. "Uchiha Sasuke has – or had, at the point of my departure – no intentions to let Orochimaru take his body as a vessel."

"Why is that?" elder Koharu pressed.

Akiya shrugged slightly, trying to pretend she didn't really care. "It seems that Uchiha Sasuke doesn't like Orochimaru very much, or Kabuto for that matter. Actually he was quite disgusted by the experiments they made and thinks Orochimaru unworthy of obtaining something as powerful as the Sharingan. He probably doesn't trust him to fulfil his part of the deal, either...so he plans to use Orochimaru to gain as much power as possible and then...dispose of him."

"Hmm." Tsunade looked thoughtful. "This is sure an interesting turn of events...Akiya, do you think Sasuke could defeat Orochimaru?"

Akiya hesitated. It was a question she had asked herself again and again during her journey to Konohagakure, and she wasn't sure she had an answer, because she didn't know just how strong Orochimaru was, and she didn't know how strong Sasuke would be when they actually did get into a fight.

She was afraid of the answer. So afraid that she had tried very _very_ hard not to think about it at all. She didn't want to imagine what she would do if Sasuke died. All she could do was to trust in him to know his own strength and limit, and to confide in him to do the right thing. If she didn't believe he could make this, then who would?

"Yes," she said at last. "Yes, I think he could."

"That leads us to another question," elder Homura interjected. "Is Uchiha Sasuke a threat for Konoha? If he is powerful enough to kill one of the legendary Sannins he might turn against us and try to gain even more power."

Akiya shook her head. "He holds no grudge against Konoha. His only goal is to kill his brother Itachi, and that is the only reason why he sought power in the first place." Was it just her imagination or did the elders exchange a meaningful glance at the mentioning of Uchiha Itachi? "I don't know what he will do once he has completed his goal, but I don't think he contemplates taking over Konoha."

Elder Homura frowned, clearly not convinced. "Maybe you should have just tried to kill him," he said, not specifying whether he talked about Sasuke or Orochimaru.

Only the way her jaw seemed to tighten showed her reluctance. "My mission was to spy on Orochimaru, not to kill anyone," she said flatly, thus ending the discussion before it began.

Tsunade nodded, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "Alright, thank you, Akiya. I think that's all for now. Since the mission took quite long to complete, you will have a week off. You are dismissed."

Akiya nodded curtly, bade them goodbye and walked out of the room, accompanied by Kakashi. She was surprised he hadn't spoken up when she had told him about Sasuke's intentions, but he seemed to be incredibly relieved at the news.

While she waited for her papers to sign out, she noticed Kakashi staring at her. Akiya raised an eyebrow at that. "What?" she asked.

"You are terribly thin again."

"Oh." Akiya didn't know what to say. "Am I?"

"Yeah."

"...Well, I have been travelling here pretty fast, I didn't really stop to eat properly," she explained with a week smile. It was true – she had been trying to get to Konoha as fast as possible, not only to escape Orochimaru's reach but also to see Kakashi as soon as possible. What she did not say, though, was that the real reason she hadn't been eating much during the last few days hadn't been the lack of time. She simply hadn't felt like it, because, Kami, those herbs to prevent a pregnancy left such a disgusting taste in her mouth that the mere thought of food had made her feel like throwing up.

She had probably overdone it with chewing those leaves, but losing some pounds wasn't as bad as having to deal with the problems a baby would have caused. She would gain them in no time, of that she was sure.

Of course she couldn't tell him that, and therefore she was glad to have come up with an excuse that he obviously found reasonable.

Kakashi's next question, though, threw her off more.

"Where's your amulet?"

Akiya swallowed. She didn't want to tell him she had lost it (that wouldn't have been true anyway), because what would she do if Sasuke did return it to her one day and she started walked around wearing it again? And lying to him was just...wrong. So she decided to go with the truth, as far as that was possible. She didn't need to tell him to whom she had given it, but she had to tell him she had a reason for not wearing it.

"I gave it to someone who needed its protection more than I did," was all she said, and when she looked at him, she knew he understood.

* * *

Only two hours, a shower, a rushed meal and a change of clothing later Akiya found herself knocking on the Hokage's office door again. Kakashi was off to train Naruto again – Akiya had successfully convinced him that she was so _not_ suited to help with the training, even though she had the same chakra nature as Naruto – and she had nothing else to do but get something off her mind that had been nagging her for too long now.

"Enter!"

Tsunade's harsh voice sounded through the corridor. Bracing herself, Akiya pushed the door open and entered.

Tsunade's eyebrows rose ever so slightly at the unexpected sight.

"Is there something you want to tell me about Orochimaru that you forgot to mention earlier?" she inquired.

Akiya shook her head. "No. I wasn't able to gather more information in the brief moment before I had to make a run for it. I'm here on a personal account. Tsunade-sama...what do you know about the Umeko clan?"

Tsunade's eyes widened. "You remembered?"

"Well...not exactly."

"Tell me."

Akiya sighed. "You were right, in a way. You said back then that...that seeing something familiar might help me remember. And it did. I remembered Orochimaru's face the second I saw him."

There was a short silence, and Akiya almost fidgeted nervously, thinking that Tsunade might be mad at her, because she was sure the Hokage could draw the right conclusions. "To be honest...this was one of the main reasons I volunteered for this mission. I...I wanted to know the truth." She inhaled deeply. "I am deeply sorry for not telling you earlier, but I wasn't completely sure whether-"

She was cut off.

"So it was that bastard who left you in that state back then, huh?" Tsunade said. "I should have known. Only he could torture a young girl half to death and run his experiments on her."

She sighed. "I'm not mad at you Akiya. Tell me, though, how did you find out your name?"

"He recognized me."

"Even with your cover?" Tsunade sounded perplex.

"No. I was travelling undisguised at this point. Uchiha Sasuke had found out and...well, he might have let me keep up my act in front Orochimaru and Kabuto, but I lost my equipment during the fight I told you about."

Tsunade huffed. "It's a good thing you didn't tell me this when the elders were present. They would have thrown a fit again, telling me I couldn't trust you and that you would now pose a danger to the village, because they had found out the identity of one of my ANBU...however, this will remain secret for now."

Akiya sighed relieved. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

"Now...you said 'Umeko clan', didn't you?"

"Yes. Orochimaru called me Umeko Midori."

"Hmm." Tsunade rested her chin on her hands. "It does sound vaguely familiar, but I cannot tell you anything specific right away. I shall do some research and contact you once I've found some usable information."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

The Hokage waved it off impatiently. "Anything else?"

"Actually...yes," Akiya said slowly. "I have been thinking that this might be a good time to get myself a summon. During this mission I realised that it might have been necessary to contact Konoha earlier – had I not been able to escape, you would not have the information you needed, but with a summon, this would become significantly easier."

Tsunade nodded. "This is a reasonable request. Is there a particular summon you have in mind?"

Akiya shrugged. "Not really. A bird might come in handy – a hawk maybe...they are fast and common in almost every country, they wouldn't stand out."

"A good thought," Tsunade acknowledged. "I'll have this arranged. You'll receive a message when the treaty is ready to be signed. Dismissed."

* * *

Exhaling loudly, Kakashi let himself fall on the couch next to Akiya.

"Damn, this brat will be the death of me."

Akiya snorted. "Don't pretend _you_ are the one working your ass off – let me guess, you stayed in the shadows reading Icha Icha all day, didn't you?"

Kakashi smiled sheepishly. "Got me."

Akiya cracked a tiny smile. "How is the training going?" she asked.

"He is progressing incredibly fast. Working with those shadow clones was a good idea. The only thing that worries me is how he sometimes begins to lose control over the Kyuubi."

There were a few minutes of comfortable silence, in which they simply enjoyed being together again. Eventually, Kakashi spoke up again.

"What is bothering you?"

Akiya sighed. Of course he would have noticed - Kakashi knew her too well. She couldn't hide anything from him. So she told him about Orochimaru, about her reasons to accept the mission, about how Orochimaru had called her. She carefully avoided mentioning Sasuke, though – she didn't want him to know that at the moment and just hoped he would believe this was all she had kept from him until now.

When she had finally finished, he remained silent for a while, obviously thinking very hard.

"Umeko Midori, huh?"

"Hn."

The monosyllabic response escaped her lips before she was able to restrain it. Damn. Was she already beginning to copy Sasuke? Akiya only hoped Kakashi didn't catch that or didn't think too much of it.

It seemed that she had gotten lucky. Kakashi's mind was occupied with a different matter.

"What am I supposed to call you now?" he asked. "Midori – or Akiya?"

To say that Akiya was taken aback would have been an understatement. She hadn't wasted a single thought on that matter at all. Now she realised that his question wasn't baseless. Did she want to be called by her real name? All this time her goal had been to find out about her past, her identity, her family. She had wanted to be_ herself_ again.

But now she found that she didn't know who "herself" was at all.

The name 'Umeko Midori' didn't call forth any memories, pictures or feelings. There was nothing. She had no connection to the name, no bond to her former life at all. The name didn't really mean anything to her. Sure, she still wanted to know whether any of her relatives were still alive, but...she couldn't just return to her former life. Not anymore. It had been too long. The day Kakashi had found her, her life had taken an abrupt turn, and although she sometimes regretted joining ANBU, she didn't regret her life at all.

Whoever Umeko Midori might have been – she wasn't Umeko Midori anymore.

She was Akiya now.

And, thinking about it, she found that she didn't want to be anyone but Akiya, either.

"I think," she began slowly, "I think Akiya suits me just fine."

It was only when Kakashi began to smile that she realised he had been afraid to lose her to her past.


	22. Of summons and losses

*** Chapter 21***

_It is __impossible to describe how old and empty it is  
I try not to show how much I miss you  
My friends do their best, but the best isn't good enough  
The world doesn't have a substitute for what you were to me_

_This is an act of despair, a silent scream  
Of a person full of suffering and wound that just won't heal  
This is a last fight against the cause of it  
Like a bird with only one wing that certainly won't fly_

_Egad, a piece is missing  
Stop the world  
A piece is missing  
It shall stand still_

_And the world keeps turning,  
And that it keeps in turning  
Is beyond comprehension for me  
Doesn't it realise someone is missing?_

_Stop the world  
A piece is missing  
It shall stand still_

_- Glashaus: Haltet die Welt an – (translation)_

* * *

For some reason, it was always Genma who delivered the bad news, Akiya mused. He had knocked on their door shortly after her conversation with Kakashi, and despite being happy to see her he hadn't been able to even crack a small smile.

Asuma was dead.

For the first time since she had come to Konohagakure, Akiya attended a funeral. Another one of Kakashi's close friends being buried in the cold, stony ground. Another name carved into the memorial stone. Another broken heart.

Again, the living were left behind to mourn.

It wasn't unusual for shinobi to die. On the contrary, death was almost a daily occurrence. Most ANBU didn't even think about it anymore. They had gotten so used to it, so used to endangering their own lives, so used to losing their comrades that they didn't really care anymore. That was what ANBU was about, after all: suppressing your emotions.

Akiya had rarely ever cared when hearing of a shinobi's death. She had known a few who had been on missions with her and had died, but it hadn't really affected her, because she had never formed a bond with them.

Asuma was different, though.

He had been a friend of Kakashi, and therefore they had had more contact than she usually had with other ninjas. They hadn't been exactly close, but Akiya had liked him well enough. He had been a kind, good-humoured man, trustworthy too, and even though his constant smoking had really annoyed her, she felt sad, especially when seeing Kurenai standing at his grave, looking incredibly forlorn. Shikamaru wasn't even there – he probably couldn't stand the thought of having to say goodbye to someone who had been closer to him than his own father.

"_Something will be missing in this village,"_ Akiya thought, even if for her it was only that she wouldn't take a disdainful sniff at Kakashi's clothes that smelt of cold smoke every time he had gone to a bar with Asuma.

It reminded her of how fragile life was. How unforeseeable.

And it scared her to think that the next time she might be in Kurenai's place.

* * *

Another day, another mission. Shinobi didn't have the time to mourn; they never had time for anything but their job.

In some cases, it was good to go back to the routine at once, for it kept your mind from thinking about death too much. In some cases, the shinobi had difficulties to cope with injustice of the world they were living in and were distracted on the missions that followed the loss of a beloved person.

Akiya knew this, and, she thought, Ino should be grateful she was sympathetic because had the situation been different, she might have given in to the urge to strangle the blonde kunoichi. Just why did Tsunade have to send or on this mission with Ino? Oh yes, because the village was short of shinobi and right now she needed to fill the gap Asuma was leaving.

The mission was easy enough, so Akiya hadn't minded when Tsunade had told her she wouldn't get the entire week off, as she would usually have after being away for so long. It was a simple escort mission, B-Ranked only to be sure, although it was highly unlikely they would face any troubles – however, the client was rich and had paid some extra cash, hoping to get the best shinobi to protect him. It wasn't far a distance they had to cover, and they were supposed to be back within two days, but if the Yamanaka girl kept on questioning and/or refusing her orders, she would snap soon and really rip her head off, despite the fact that she had just lost her Sensei.

She might have been more patient with Ino, and more understanding if everything had been normal. But nothing was normal right now, not for her, at least. She had been restless during the past few days, anxiously waiting for any news from Otogakure. Her patience and her self-restraint were seriously damaged, and she knew she wouldn't stand Ino's behaviour much longer. The only good thing was that their client was temporarily out of hearing range, so that he wouldn't hear their argument.

"How do I know you will really cover my back?"

Akiya gritted her teeth and inhaled deeply, making an effort to calm herself before she lost it completely. "Yamanaka-san," she seethed, at least trying to stay polite, "Let me make this absolutely clear: You don't have to trust me. You don't even have to like me. Personally, I don't care. But this is a mission, and _I_ am the squad leader, thus the authority lies with me, and you _will_ follow my orders. I am well aware of your recent loss, and I sympathize, but if you don't start to cooperate I will send you back to Konoha unhesitatingly and complete this mission on my own, and _you_ will be the one to explain this to Tsunade-sama, who will not be pleased at all by your childish behaviour. Do you understand?"

"H-Hai." Ino flinched at the dangerous tone in Akiya's voice.

"Good. Then let's get this over with," Akiya replied coolly and so they moved on in silence, something Akiya was incredibly grateful for. It didn't happen often that Imo kept her mouth shut, but apparently she had nothing to say to Akiya.

They arrived at their destination shortly before nightfall, which was a miracle considering how much Ino's bickering had delayed them. They escorted their client to his house and then made their way to a small hotel on the outskirts of the town.

"There were plenty of nice-looking hotels in the town centre," Ino grumbled. "Why do we have to stay in this shack?"

"Tsunade-sama told me to meet someone here," Akiya explained flatly, before asking for two single rooms. Screw the money; she wouldn't stand being in one room with Ino the entire night – one of them certainly wouldn't survive this. Plus, Ino didn't need to know whom she was meeting here.

She didn't have to wait long until someone knocked on her door. The room maid, a young, forlorn looking girl timidly told her that an old gentleman was waiting for her downstairs.

"Please tell him to come here."

"As you wish."

The girl disappeared quickly, and soon heavy footsteps could be heard as someone ascended the stairs. There was a short, resolute knock on her door, and as soon as she had called "enter" it was pushed open to reveal to reveal an old, crippled man who was supporting himself with a cane. Akiya had never seen a face with so many wrinkles before, of that she was sure. He was old, very old, but his violet eyes were as piercing as the ones of a young man, and she was sure that this man had a quick mind.

"Akiya-san?" he addressed her. Akiya nodded and ventured him to come in.

"Furuguchi-san. Please have a seat. You have come a long way, you must be tired."

"My bones certainly are," he muttered as he sat down, never taking his eyes off Akiya. "Do you know who I am?"

"You are Furuguchi Kaito, a very famous shinobi veteran of Konohagakure."

He chuckled. "That is true. But do you know why I am here to meet you?"

"No, I do not."

"Ah, I see. Very much like Tsunade, to send you here and let me do the explaining. I still owed her a favour, and she called for me to meet you to fulfil it."

Akiya merely raised her eyebrows and waited for him to continue. The man eyed her critically, obviously contemplating something. Akiya felt as if she was tested somehow, but nevertheless she remained calm and composed. Finally, the old man sighed. "Well, Tsunade obviously holds you in high regards if she sent you here, so who am I to question her decision? She knows you better than I do, but looking at you I think you are worth the honour of my gift."

"_Gift?"_ Akiya thought. What was he talking about? "Please elaborate, Furuguchi-san."

"I was informed you were in need of a Summon. I am here to let you sign a contract." Without further ado, he bit his finger and slammed his hand on the floor. The familiar pattern of the _Kuchiyose_ spread over the floor, and with a _poof_, a big hawk appeared in the middle of the room.

"Ah, Jiyuu, it is good to see you again."

"Indeed, Kaito-san. It has been a while", the hawk replied. "So the time has come?"

"It has", Furuguchi Kaito confirmed before turning to Akiya. "I am an old man, and at the moment the only one who can summon the hawks that belong to Jiyuu's family. I have been searching for a long time to find the right person to pass this on. Tsunade recommended you, and if Jiyuu has no objections, I do not see why I should not let you sign the contract and teach you the Kuchiyose no Jutsu. It deems me that you would make a good team."

Jiyuu tilted his head and looked Akiya up and down. "I think she would be a splendid choice."

"What do you think, Akiya-san?"

Akiya bowed slightly. "I would be extremely honoured, Furuguchi-san, Jiyuu-san."

The old man nodded in approval. "Let us begin, then."

It took her a few tries until she developed the right feeling for how much chakra she had to use for the summoning jutsu, but all in all the Kuchiyose wasn't that hard to learn. She had applied too little chakra at the beginning, but it seemed that both the old man and the hawk were satisfied enough with her achievement. Once she had managed to summon Jiyuu without any flaws, Furuguchi Kaito nodded and rolled up the scroll. "This should suffice."

Jiyuu expressed his consent and turned towards Akiya again. "I would like you to meet my family, so that I can inform you of everyone's abilities. It is indispensable for you to know about our strengths and weaknesses, just like we need to know about yours."

"Of course."

"I will excuse myself, then," Furuguchi remarked and slowly rose to his feet. "I leave this in your care, Akiya-san," he said, handing the scroll to Akiya. "I trust you to guard it with great diligence."

"But Furuguchi-san, I cannot take this."

"You have to. Someone has to guard it to make sure not everyone can sign the contract on his whim. It has to be passed on, however. A summon needs a master, and I know I cannot fulfil this task much longer. My life is ending, and you, Akiya-san, will have to take on this task. I am certain that you are capable of doing this; otherwise I would not have taught you."

Akiya bit her lower lip, knowing that she could not change his mind. "Thank you, Furuguchi-san. Farewell."

"Farewell, Akiya-san, Jiyuu-san. It was a pleasure to meet you."

With that, he left the room and didn't turn around.

"Is the old man not coming back?" a loud voice suddenly chirped, making Akiya jump.

"Keisho, where are your manners?" Jiyuu chided the tiny hawk that had appeared next to Akiya all of a sudden.

"Sorry, Otou-san," Keisho said, not sounding sorry at all. He eyed Akiya curiously. "Is she the new one?"

Akiya couldn't help but smile. "Indeed, I am."

If birds could grin, Keisho did. At least she thought he grinned, which, to be honest, looked more like a disturbing grimace to someone who had never had much contact with birds before. "I like her," he announced, and flapped his wings, bouncing up and down. "The old man never gave me anything to do; he said I was too young. That's reaaaaally unfair," he whined. "But you will give me some cool mission, won't you?"

"Oh." Akiya thought for a while. "Well, maybe I have a task for you..."

* * *

To say Sasuke was surprised when during training a small feathery ball fell before his feet would have been an understatement. Especially when said feathery ball began to make strange noises, rose into the air again and started to whirr around his head. He contemplated throwing some kunai at the annoying animal, but before he could reach into his pouch to grab one the bird – a hawk, if his eyesight didn't fail him – dropped a small piece of paper into his hand.

Sasuke frowned as he unfolded the letter, wondering who had written it. There weren't many options, of course, and everyone was as unlikely as the other. Yet when he saw the vaguely familiar handwriting he saw his first suspicion confirmed.

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I know I shouldn't write, for this poses as much a threat to you as it does to me should anyone find out about this letter, but I know I will get no rest until I know whether you are still alive and unharmed now that the day of the body transfer jutsu draws nearer. Please do inform me about the occurrences for the sake of my sanity. You can trust Keisho – he is my new summon, and even though he is quite inexperienced and boisterous, he has a good heart and is very keen on fulfilling the tasks given to him perfectly. _

_Akiya_

Sasuke almost chuckled. It wasn't exactly the letter he had expected her to write, but then again, it represented her personality in every word, her habit of coming straight to the point while staying polite and distanced, yet caring a great deal for those close to her. He looked at the small hawk that now sat on the branch of a tree close to him.

"Keisho?" he addressed him. Keisho immediately started to bounce up and down in excitement at the prospect of being needed. "I will need you to deliver my reply tomorrow."

* * *

For some reason, it was really always Genma who delivered the bad news.

Akiya sat on her favourite spot on the windowsill, impatiently waiting for Keisho to return with some message of Sasuke, even though she knew he probably wouldn't arrive until nightfall. He was still young, after all, and not half as fast as the usual messenger birds used for the correspondence between the villages.

Akiya and Kakashi turned around when their apartment door flew open to reveal an agitated Genma at the doorstep.

"Genma, what is it?"

"We have news from Sound," Genma answered solemnly.

Both Kakashi and Akiya tensed, and the latter closed her eyes, swallowing hard. _"Please don't let him be dead"_, she thought desperately_, "please don't let this be the reason why Keisho hasn't returned with any letter."_

"I'm sorry." Genma's voice sounded dull, as if she was hearing through thick clouds. "He's dead."

Akiya felt a wave of nausea rolling over her as the world seemed sway and shatter before her eyes.


	23. A moment of happiness

*** Chapter 22 ***

_What is love but the strangest of feelings?  
A sin you swallow for the rest of your life?  
You've been looking for someone to believe in  
To love you, until your eyes run dry_

_She lives on disillusion road  
We go where the wild blood flows  
On our bodies we share the same scar  
Love me, wherever you are_

_How do you love with a fate full of rust?  
How do you turn what the savage take?  
You've been looking for someone you can trust  
To love you, again and again_

_How do you love in a house without feelings?  
How do you turn what the savage take?  
I've been looking for someone to believe in  
Love me, again and again_

_- Razorlight: Wire to wire – _

* * *

"Uhm…Akiya?"

There was no response.

"Akiya?" Genma tried again, a little bit louder than before, but Akiya still didn't seem to hear him at all. All the colour had drained from her face and she was clutching the windowsill for support.

"Akiya, are you listening to me?"

He turned towards Kakashi, who was also eyeing the girl with worry. "This is starting to creep me out. Have you ever seen her that pale before?"

"Once, when she was half dead."

"She looks like she's going to pass out. Why is she even reacting like this? I thought she'd be happy to hear this!" Genma frowned and reached out to poke her chin. Immediately, her hand shot up in defence, and she finally looked at him. Genma was shocked by the emptiness of her eyes.

"What?" she asked tonelessly, but there was a slight quiver in her voice that wasn't usually there.

"Well...shouldn't you be happy or something?"

"I don't see why this should make me happy. There is nothing good about this news."

"But Akiya!" Genma exclaimed. "The bastard is dead! He's never going to touch you again! How is this not good news? Sure, you didn't get to kill him yourself, but surely you aren't sulking because you didn't get your revenge, are you? I told you I was sorry about that, but -"

"I – uh- _what_?" Akiya seemed to be confused. "What are you even talking about, Genma?"

"Orochimaru's death, obviously. What did you think I was talking about?" Genma asked, taken aback.

"Orochimaru's- oh Genma, I'm going to _kill_ you!" Akiya hissed as she understood.

Genma almost dropped his senbon. "What? Why? What did I do now?"

Luckily, Akiya made no move to throttle him. Instead, she cracked a smile, which made him wonder about women's mood swings, and flung his arms around him. That really caused him to drop his senbon, and his jaw almost joined the metal needle on the floor. Akiya never hugged anyone except Kakashi. She allowed him to ruffle her hair and poke her from time to time, but she never ever hugged him. Never. Kami, he had always thought she'd kill him if he ever dared to hug her, but here she was, her body pressing against hers and her arms wrapped around his torso.

"Baka," she mumbled into his chest, and then, before he could even blink, she was gone, rushing out of the apartment and slamming the door shut behind her.

Baffled, Genma turned towards Kakashi. "What the heck was that about?" he inquired while bending down to pick up his weapon.

His friend merely chuckled. "Perhaps the next time you announce something like that you should make sure to say _who_ is dead first, before anyone makes false assumptions. And don't be so solemn if it's actually good news. I have to admit you scared me for a minute, too. When you first uttered 'I'm sorry' I thought you meant Sasuke was dead."

"Oh." Genma frowned. "Sorry. I didn't take this into consideration. I just thought she would be angry to hear that she couldn't kill Orochimaru herself, not that she would be caring about someone else. Who do you think she was talking about anyway?"

"That I can only guess..."

Genma narrowed his eyes. "Knowing you, I'm sure you are pretty certain about your guess."

"Hmm." Kakashi smiled slightly.

"And knowing you, I'm sure you won't tell me."

The smile widened. "Hmm."

"You are an asshole, do you know that?"

Kakashi's smile turned into a slightly malicious grin.

* * *

"Keisho!" Akiya glared at the little hawk that was currently fluttering around her head, but too high for her to reach for him. "Give me the letter, dammit!"

For the last ten minutes, she had tried to talk him into finally giving her Sasuke's letter, but the bird was proving to be stubborn. "Only if you let me read it."

"Keisho, it's not polite to try and read other person's private correspondence."

"The boy said that, too."

Yes, she could imagine that – but Sasuke had probably used harsher words. "That's because it's true."

"Please, Akiya-san?" Keisho whined.

Akiya sighed, knowing that she couldn't really win this fight. She wanted this letter, so Keisho had the better arguments and leverages on his side. "Fine. If I deem the content suitable for you, I'll let you read it."

Satisfied, Keisho stopped his behaviour and landed on her shoulder. Akiya snatched the paper from his beak immediately and unfolded it. It was short, shorter than she had expected, but then again, she was less surprised by the length of the letter than by its content.

_Akiya,_

_meet me in three days' time by the Valley of the End, at nightfall. _

_Sasuke_

On her shoulder, Keisho scoffed as he read the short message. "He's not very romantic, is he? I should have known, I guess. He's boring and mean. He called me annoying."

"I wonder why that is," Akiya murmured under her breath, trying to restrain a chuckle. Luckily, Keisho didn't seem to hear it. He just kept talking.

"He never smiles."

"He does," Akiya contradicted as she carefully folded the piece of paper and tucked it into her pocket, smiling to herself. "Not very often, but he does. You'll see that you will like him far better when you really get to know him."

"Does that mean you will send me again?" Keisho was suddenly very cheerful, obviously enjoying the fact that she needed him and gave him something to do. However, Akiya made a mental note not to call on him too often. Firstly because he was young and inexperienced and she didn't want him to get hurt, secondly because even though he was very cute, she didn't think she could stand his boisterous behaviour for a long time.

"If you promise not to read my letters in the future, then yes, I will call on you again." Akiya broke off when she heard someone approaching her. Turning around, she saw the blonde Godaime walking towards her. "Tsunade-sama," she greeted her, bowing slightly. "How can I help you?"

"I see you got your summons," Tsunade remarked. "Good."

"Yes. And I will have to thank you again for arranging this"

Tsunade waved it off impatiently. "You're welcome. But that's not what I came to talk to you about. I believe you have heard about Orochimaru's death. What do you think will be Uchiha Sasuke's next move? We briefly talked about this earlier when you handed in your mission report, but I would like to have more detailed information."

Akiya shook her head. "I'm afraid I won't be able to tell you much more than what I said back then. I do know that Uchiha Sasuke intends to kill his brother Itachi, so I suppose he is going to search for him now, but I know nothing more."

Tsunade nodded thoughtfully. "How do you think he would react if we tried to find him and bring him back to Konoha?"

Akiya stifled a laughter. "He would decline – in a very, very impolite and rude way."

"Politeness was never one of his strengths," Tsunade agreed. "Some shinobi requested a team to hunt both him and Itachi down – well, mostly Itachi, that is, because we think that where Uchiha Itachi is is where we will find him in the end."

"Maybe you should just let him come home on his own accord."

"Do you think he would do that?"

"I don't know," Akiya admitted. "But he has no reason not to come back. If he survives the fight against his brother, there should be nothing to hold him back, especially since he knows you would accept him here."

Tsunade sighed. "Maybe. But as long as there are no guarantees whether he will come back or not, I think I will rather send a team or two...whether it is for retrieval or backup, I don't care, but I want that bloody, stubborn Uchiha back in Konoha as soon as possible."

* * *

Three days, Akiya found, could be a very long time if you had nothing to do but wait for the time you could sneak out to see someone. Sometimes she thought that it was ridiculous – she was looking forward to it like children were looking forward to their birthdays. The days dragged on like chewing gum. Just when she thought the day was never going to come it was suddenly Friday, and the sun began to sink when she finally had the opportunity to slip out of the village. She left a note for Kakashi saying that she would be out late and that he shouldn't stay up and wait for her – the usual note she always left when she was called-in for last-minute missions – and sprinted north.

The sunset was bathing the world in a soft, golden light and the water was reflecting the light when she finally reached the Valley of the End. Sasuke was nowhere to be seen at first, but she sensed the familiar chakra signature a little further down by the river and walked towards it at a quick pace, unable to stay calm and slow down even the tiniest bit.

Akiya stopped when he came into view, a dark figure against the light. He turned around as he sensed her, and Akiya felt a wave of relief washing over her when she saw that it was indeed him and no one else, that this was not one of Orochimaru's tricks but really Sasuke standing there, waiting for her. They stayed like that, just watching each other from a distance for thirty seconds of forever, until Akiya couldn't restrain herself anymore. She ran to him, flinging her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder to hide her smile. Sasuke's reaction might not have been as enthusiastic, but then again, it would have been against his nature, so Akiya was happy when his arms sneaked around her waist to pull her closer and she could feel his warm breath against her skin.

Later Akiya wouldn't have been able to tell how long they stood there like this, embracing each other without saying a word, just savouring this moment while the sun disappeared behind the trees and darkness engulfed them. There was no need for words. The silent _"I'm glad you are alright"_ and _"I missed you"_ were there anyway. The words, although left unspoken, floated through the air, almost tangible, but neither dared to grab and use them, because no one knew how stable this relationship was, and how long it would last. Maybe, if they never admitted how they felt, it wouldn't hurt as bad if they lost each other.

"I cannot stay long," Sasuke finally muttered against her neck.

"I know," was all Akiya replied, reassuring him that she would not try to hold him back.

Sasuke inhaled deeply. "There are some ruins not far from here," he murmured. "We could stay there for the night."

Akiya glanced up at the sky, noticing the advancing storm clouds. "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Later that night, when she lay in his arms and watched how flashes of lightning lit up the black sky, she tried not to think about how wonderful it would be to wake up next to him every day for the rest of her life. But even more so, she tried not to think about how very very very unlikely this was.

* * *

A ray of sunlight broke through the half- crumbled walls, falling onto Akiya's face, waking her. With a reluctant sigh, Akiya blinked her eyes open, only to find that Sasuke had vanished from her side. For a moment she thought he had already left – she wouldn't have been surprised after the conversation they'd had the previous night, but then she felt the familiar chakra signature. He had warned her he might not be there when she woke up, seeing that he didn't have the time to wait for her if she slept in. Luckily, though, Akiya was a morning person anyway, so although she didn't really feel like getting up, she was glad that she had woken early. Rolling around, she saw him standing a few feet away, staring outside a gap that might have been a window before.

Wrapping the blanket around her body, Akiya quietly walked over to him to stand behind him, letting her hands run from his shoulders down his arms before wrapping her arms around his torso. She planted a light kiss between his shoulder blades, and although she couldn't see his face, he knew he was smirking.

"Good morning," she mumbled against his skin.

"Hn."

Akiya chuckled at his response. It seemed that Sasuke wasn't exactly talkative in the morning. Not that he was ever talkative, but he appeared to be grumpier when he had to get up early. A few minutes later, Sasuke straightened, and Akiya knew it was time to let him go – again. She hated to see him leaving, but she knew she shouldn't complain. She had always known it would be like this, and seeing him the previous night had been more than she could have asked for.

Silently, she helped him to collect the rest of his clothes and equipment, which was scattered across the room. He frowned at her when she grimaced while bending down to pick up something. "Don't worry about it," she reassured him. "I'm just a little bit stiff from lying on the stone floor all night and...uh...other...nightly _activities_."

"Ah," he smirked smugly, and for a second Akiya felt very tempted to throw something at his face. Knowing that he wouldn't approve of that, though, she dismissed the idea and merely rolled her eyes.

"What will you do," she asked quietly, leaning against the wall, "once you have succeeded to kill your brother?" She phrased her question carefully in order to not break her promise and ask him to return to Konoha, because she knew he would be angry then, but she also knew he would know what she actually wanted to know.

Sasuke continued to stare outside, refusing to look at her, because he had well heard the unspoken question _"Will you come back to Konoha? To me?"_

"I don't know", he said slowly. "I'm not thinking that far at the moment."

Akiya nodded. That was understandable. Both of them knew his chances to actually defeat Itachi might still be low, despite Sasuke's strength, because none had ever seen Itachi display his full abilities.

"They might send a team or two to find you."

Sasuke snorted. "Let me make an educated guess who asked for that."

Akiya chuckled. "I'm pretty sure you would guess right." Then she became serious again. "Be careful", she asked quietly.

Sasuke didn't reply. Instead, he pulled a katana from his bag, very much like his own, and handed it to her. "Don't lose it this time," he said dryly.

Akiya raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I cannot defend myself without a sword?"

"I know you can. I'd just rather you carried some real weapons, too," Sasuke answered flatly. "Toothpicks may not always help you."

"Sometimes less is more," Akiya chuckled quietly. The thought that Sasuke was obviously worried about her thrilled her. "But thank you anyway. I will put it to good use."

"Good." He pulled her close to place a kiss on her forehead. "Goodbye," he murmured.

He was gone before Akiya could bid him farewell in return, leaving her to stare into the morning sun and fight the feeling of emptiness and loss that threatened to spread inside of her.


	24. Because nothing is as simple as it seems

*** Chapter 23 ***

_You make yourself a prisoner of me  
You blind yourself so you don't have to see  
You turn your life to a power above  
You make yourself a hostage of love_

_I am a sinner and I am a saint  
I am a devil, and I am a ghost at the wake  
God feed the swell and pull off your tears as they break  
I am the limit of the load you can take_

_You are the pulley and I am the winch  
I am salvation and your herald of sin  
I'll take you beyond your limits of trust  
Ransom yourself, hostage of love_

_You see you have been born again  
Since you slept there in the lion's den, den  
You cannot be saved  
You gave your innocence away_

_- Razorlight: Hostage of love – _

* * *

Akiya tiptoed into the apartment, and was for the first time in her life happy to see that Kakashi wasn't present. She wasn't sure whether he had bought her "I'm on a mission"- excuse, because it was very unusual for her to be assigned to spontaneous overnight missions; the regular were long-term missions of at least a week or two. Kami knew she sucked at lying to him, and he could read her all too well, so she should probably think about a better excuse and prepare for meeting him.

Akiya walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from one of the cupboards to drink some water. Sighing, she turned around to lean against the counter – and nearly dropped the glass with a shriek as she saw the man standing in front of her.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted her with his usual smile.

Akiya cursed under her breath. "Dammit, Kakashi, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

Kakashi merely chuckled. "You seem to be distracted. I never managed to catch you off guard like that before."

"Hn."

"So," Kakashi said casually as he opened the fridge to check whether there was still something edible in it, "how is Sasuke?"

For the second time in as many minutes, Akiya's grip on her glass loosened. Fortunately, Kakashi was fast enough to catch it before it hit the floor, while all Akiya could do was staring at him.

"You..."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Come on, Akiya, you didn't really think I was that blind, did you?"

"Well, I could at least hope you were." Akiya grimaced. "Was it that obvious?"

"You were – no, you _are_ different," Kakashi said, shrugging and leaned against the kitchen counter as well, right next to her.

"How so?"

"Like I said before, you seemed to be distracted. And you seemed to be...both happier and sadder at the same time, like everyone who is unhappily in love. Happier because you've found something important, and unhappy because you cannot have it. It's hard to describe. You gave my amulet away, although you usually never take it off. You disappeared this night," Kakashi listed. "Of course it could have been anyone...I just tried to draw the right conclusions, and this was the only logical answer I could come up with. And don't forget, I'm an expert in love issues," he added with a grin.

"Says the man who has been single for almost ten years," Akiya commented dryly. "Personally, I don't believe Icha Icha is a good source for that. Not enough to give advice in such matters, anyway."

"Well, but I have lived a few years longer than you have, and as the old man that I am, I think I can reasonably say I have more experience in life. Plus, you know I have my reasons for being single. So, I think that-"

"Kakashi," Akiya interrupted him, "are your drunk?"

"Huh?" Kakashi was startled. "What makes you think that? It's nine o'clock in the morning; of course I am not drunk!"

"Oh, well then. You just aren't usually that philosophic."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at her. "Stop trying to distract me and change the topic."

Akiya sighed, defeated. She should have known he would see through this. Damn. "Fine then. What do you want to know? But I swear to Kami, if you intend to give me 'The Talk', then I am out of here."

"I don't think this will be necessary." Kakashi grinned too knowingly for her taste. "How is he?"

"He's fine," Akiya answered. "Orochimaru didn't manage to injure him."

Kakashi nodded and stayed silent. Akiya waited a few moments for him to speak up again, but he didn't. She threw him an odd look. "What?" she asked. "No thousands of questions?"

He chuckled silently and shook his head no. "No, that's it for the moment," he said, emptying his glass and pushing his body away from the counter to walk over to the sink. "I just hope you know what you are doing."

"I do," Akiya answered. "...I think." Kakashi's eyebrows rose slightly, and Akiya sighed. "It's not that easy."

"Do you love him?"

Akiya hesitated. It was a simple question, but not an easy one, one she had carefully avoided to ask herself although she already knew the answer. It was probably stupid to say this after such a short time of knowing Sasuke, but she knew deep inside her that she didn't just have a crush on him. It just felt right. _Final_. And if she was honest to herself she had to admit that, as much as it made her feel flying high, elated, it also frightened her to no end to feel so dependent on him. "...Yes," she whispered finally.

The corner's of Kakashi's mouth curled upwards to give her his trademark smile. "Then it is easy."

"No it is not," Akiya contradicted. "My feelings for him are not the problem."

"What is the problem, then?" Kakashi asked.

"The problem is...oh, I don't know how! It's just..." she struggled for the right words. "It's just that I like to do things my way, I like things that are in the correct order, I - I like to _plan_ things. This..." she continued, waving her hand tiredly. "This is unpredictable. The problem is...never knowing what is going to happen. It is never knowing how long it will last."

Kakashi smiled somewhat bitterly. "Welcome to the club," he commented dryly, before inhaling deeply. "Tsunade-sama decided to send an eight-man-cell to pursue him and Itachi. It's team seven and Kurenai's team, but Yamato is going in her place. I will leave tomorrow."

Akiya nodded. "I guess I should wish you luck, then."

"That," Kakashi said, "depends on what you want for him."

Akiya stared at her hands, at the soft skin covered with thin silver scars. What did she want for him?

She wanted Sasuke to find his peace. She wanted him to find happiness. But she knew she had to consider the possibility that none of this would happen. She knew she had to consider the possibility she would lose him in the end, or that she would have to let him go.

And she didn't think she would be strong enough to do that.

* * *

Like every time when Akiya wanted to think calmly and without interruptions, she took a walk around the village, letting her feet carry her wherever they wanted to, without even checking where she went. It was in those moments that she realised why she loved Konoha – not for the hustle and bustle within the city streets, but for the quietness and peace this place could offer, if you only knew where to look. A few people she came across greeted her, but she ignored them and they didn't seem to mind – the people who knew her a little bit and had worked with her before respected her well enough to leave her alone when she wanted to be on her own, and they knew it was not a rare occurrence to see her wandering around, lost in her thoughts.

Her mind was elsewhere – far, far away, with Kakashi and Sasuke, wherever they might be at that moment. She feared and hoped for both of them, and it felt a bit as if she was torn apart internally. On the one hand, she wanted Sasuke to not be found, so that he could fight Itachi, because she knew he would never find his peace if he didn't kill his brother. On the other hand, she wanted Kakashi to find him first, for the sole reason that she was terribly afraid that Sasuke might not yet be strong enough to face and defeat Itachi and stay alive and unharmed at the same time.

Akiya felt as if she should be there, to support him, but she knew he wouldn't have wanted her to interfere or to bring herself in danger, so she forced herself to stay in Konoha, waiting nervously for any news that reached her ear.

She was so occupied with her worries that she almost didn't see the dark heap lying on the ground and only just stopped in time to not stumble over Shikamaru – who was said heap – and fall flat on her face.

"Yo." Shikamaru greeted her sleepily, staring up at the sky and the clouds floating above them.

After a short moment of contemplation, Akiya lowered herself to the ground next to him, joining him in his favourite pastime activity. It had been a long time since she had done so the last time – after their first mission together she had done so regularly, joining him often when Kakashi was away on missions, sometimes even for a game of Shogi. She liked that, although they were not exactly close friends – well, probably number four on her list behind Kakashi, Genma and Temari – he was always silently keeping her company and not butting into her business, yet giving her the feeling of not being alone.

An hours passed by, tranquil as the cloud floated across the blue sky. "Any news from Kakashi yet?" Shikamaru finally spoke up, surprisingly not sounding half as bored as he usually did.

Akiya shook her head silently and Shikamaru yawned and scratched his head. "Then they probably haven't found him. I don't know why they are making such a fuss about Sasuke anyway", he commented."He doesn't deserve it."

Akiya kept examining the sky, trying to find forms in the muster of the clouds. "He is not as bad a person as you think he is," she said simply.

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows in surprise. "So you think Naruto and Sakura are right?"

Akiya sighed. "No," she said. "No, they are not. They have no right to force him to return, and to be honest, they are not really chasing Sasuke. It has been a long time since they knew him, and they don't want to accept that he has changed. They are chasing an illusion, something of what he could have been but I think never really was. They are wrong about him, and so are you – because neither of you really knows him. He is not the good person Naruto and Sakura want him to be – but neither is he a villain, as you think. Sasuke Uchiha is many things, but he is not cruel. Not entirely good, of course, but neither is he entirely bad. You just don't understand him."

"And you do?" Shikamaru examined her intently.

Akiya inhaled deeply. She thought about Orochimaru and the raging hate that had been inside of her, the unstoppable need to kill him, to take revenge, and thought that she had understood Sasuke. Now Orochimaru was gone, and she hadn't been the one to kill him. It should have infuriated her, she guessed, but it didn't. Sasuke had even apologized to her for taking her chance to have her revenge from her the night by the Valley of the End, but Akiya had found she didn't care. Her priorities had changed after falling in love with Sasuke. Maybe she would seek out Kabuto one day to kill him, and maybe she wouldn't. It seemed more insignificant to her now that she had found something more important in her life than her hate.

It wasn't the same for Sasuke and her anymore, but yes, she still understood him. She still knew him better than anyone else here in this village. But Shikamaru didn't need to know that.

"Maybe," she answered vaguely, and Shikamaru grunted. Knowing what he thought, Akiya continued. "You have no right to judge him, Shikamaru. You reacted the same way when Hidan killed Asuma. How far would you have gone to avenge him?"

"I wouldn't have changed sides."

Akiya smiled a bit. "Who said he changed sides?" she asked. "He killed Orochimaru. He never harmed Konoha."

"He attacked his former teammates. He almost killed Naruto, and I think had Sai not intervened, he would have done so."

"I think," Akiya said slowly, "had he really wanted to kill Naruto, he could have done so easily."

Shikamaru looked at her silently for a while. "Why do you believe in him so much?" he inquired calmly.

"Because there is no one else who really does," Akiya replied. He shot her a questioning look, clearly asking why she thought Naruto didn't believe in Sasuke, so Akiya decided to explain. "No one believes in him enough to think that he can find his way back home without help. But there are ties that bind him to Konoha. He will come back – when he is ready for it."

Another moment of silence. Then: "Maybe you shouldn't trust in him so much."

Akiya smiled. "Maybe you should trust in him more."

Shikamaru chuckled and shook his head. "I cannot believe I really heard you say that."

Akiya had to admit he was right – what had happened to her, who once hadn't even trusted in Kakashi and Genma? The person who had pushed almost everyone away, afraid to let someone come too close, afraid to get hurt? Had she lost herself when falling in love with Sasuke?

No, she thought, she was still the same. She still wouldn't trust in anyone like that, it was just that once she had put her trust in someone and opened up to them, she really believed in them. It usually took her a long time to open herself to someone, but when she did so, she almost did so completely, and Sasuke was a person who had made all the walls she had built up around herself crumble away, and she hadn't even been able to stop this. Why it was like this, she would never know. Akiya had known from the beginning that their relationship would never be an easy one, that it would be dangerous, and that she would be worrying and hurting a lot. Her love to Sasuke would bring her into dangerous terrain, close to the edge, and she knew that had she been sane, she would have shied away from it.

But she hadn't.

She hadn't, because although it was so wrong, it felt right anyway.

* * *

Kakashi returned, looking incredibly tired. He only shook his head as he saw Akiya's questioning and nervous look. "We were delayed by an Akatsuki member."

"What about Sasuke?"

"I'm not sure," Kakashi sighed. "I think he is alive. But I also think that Akatsuki have him, and only Kami knows what will happen now."

Akiya opened her mouth, but snapped it shut when all of a sudden a member of ANBU appeared on the windowsill. "Akiya-san?" he asked. "The Hokage awaits you. It's urgent."


	25. Breaking

*** Chapter 24 ***

_The call to arms was never true  
Time to imbibe, here's to you  
I'll tell you stories, bruised and blue_

_- Placebo: Follow the cops back home -_

* * *

Akiya stared at the paper scroll in her hands, feeling a cold shiver spreading over her body and bit her lips, trying to swallow the sentiment of dread coming over her.

"That is –"

"Yes," Tsunade said softly. She sounded sympathetic and even kind of sad, and Akiya could hear a strain of anger in her voice as well, and then she knew where this mission had come from and who had insisted that she would be the one to do it. "Do you accept the mission?"

Akiya snorted and laughed sharply. "Tsunade-sama, you know just as well as I do that I am in no position to decline. No one is allowed to refuse a mission like that one." She was unable to hide the bitterness in her voice, even though she knew that her anger was directed to the wrong person.

"It isn't officially classified as a –"

"But you know it is," Akiya interrupted the blonde flatly.

"I am sorry."

The Hokage meant her words, but that didn't make it any better. Akiya strode out of Tsunade's office silently, not acknowledging her words, not biding her farewell. She just couldn't get herself to do it. Three months ago the mission wouldn't have shocked her like this, she guessed. She hadn't cared about her own life that much back then, because she hadn't had something to live for the way she had now.

She was eighteen years old.

With a chance of ninety-five percent, she would not survive the next week.

"I am sorry" didn't seem to be the right words to say to someone who was sentenced to death. They weren't enough. But then again, what could Tsunade have said?

Akiya swallowed thickly and leaned against the cool stone wall when she felt her knees begin to wobble and sway. How would she tell Genma? How would she tell Kakashi?

How would she tell Sasuke?

Akiya closed her eyes. The darkness wasn't half as comforting as it used to be. She couldn't do it. She couldn't do it. She couldn't –

But she had to.

A few minutes later she was standing in front of her and Kakashi's flat. She hadn't even realised she had been walking here. Her entire body felt numb, hollow. The prospect of dying on a mission, she found, was easier to take when it wasn't that certain. Shinobi could die on every mission, and her missions, being a spy, had always been especially dangerous. But until now, Akiya had never been told before that it was basically impossible to survive. She had always known that, if she gave her best and didn't make any mistakes, she would be able to handle the situation. This time, it was different.

Akiya went straight into the bedroom and began to pack her things. Kakashi wasn't there, probably visiting the memorial stone, and for a few seconds she thought it would maybe be the best to leave without saying goodbye, because she didn't know whether she would be able to do it.

She was just about to pull her ANBU-mask into place and leave when she heard the front door open and froze. Akiya turned around to face Kakashi wordlessly, and she knew he could see it on her face. His eyes widened in shock, pain and desperation.

"No," he whispered, but he knew just as well as she did that there was no going back.

Akiya was glad he didn't cry as he pulled her into her arms, because she had to fight the moisture rising into her eyes already, and she didn't know whether she would have been able to go had she seen his carefully composed mask break down. She knew he was broken, but that way she could at least pretend she wasn't the reason for his pain.

They stood like this for what seemed an eternity, and yet it was still too short. How much time do you need to say goodbye? How many goodbyes can a single person survive?

"I love you," Akiya whispered, her face buried in his chest, hoping it would give him the strength to go on.

"I love you," Kakashi replied simply.

It was a silent goodbye - there was nothing more to be said. He was reluctant to let her go, but Akiya softly separated herself from him, grabbed her supplies and strode towards the door, trying to ignore his feelings and thoughts that were basically screaming at her not to go. Even without using her kekkei genkai, she knew what he was thinking.

"Try to come back," Kakashi's voice sounded behind her as she opened the door, and Akiya paused to turn around once more, throwing him a weak smile.

"I always do."

Yes, she thought, she would try. She shouldn't just accept it like that. She would fight and she would not die, not now, not like that.

But first, she had something else to do.

As soon as Akiya had left the city walls behind and was within the shelter of the trees which were hiding her from curious looks, she bit her finger just enough to draw blood and slammed it onto the ground. Instantly, Jiyuu appeared in front of her.

"Did you find him?" she asked, hoping with every fibre of her body that the answer would be yes.

Jiyuu nodded. "Yes. I sent Keisho to him to inform him that you are looking for him."

"Can you take me there?"

Jiyuu nodded again. "Sit on my back, Akiya-san, and hold on tight."

And then Jiyuu flapped his giant wings and rose elegantly into the air, carrying her to a place far, far away.

* * *

This time, Akiya was the first to arrive. Jiyuu had dropped her off at this place almost half an hour ago, and since then she had been standing at a nearby cliff, staring into the width of the area surrounding her. It was a beautiful day – the sun was shining brightly, warming her skin gently while a soft breeze made the leaves rustle, and the sky was a clear and perfect blue. Akiya felt as if fate was mocking her. At a day like this, it should have been raining.

She turned around when she felt a familiar chakra signature behind her, but her smile died on her lips before it had even begun. One look at his face was enough to tell her that although he lived, something was terribly wrong.

It wasn't that his body was still wrapped with bandages, silent witnesses of a dangerous and hard fight. It was the endless and unendurable pain in his eyes that came from deep inside of him that made her heart stop and ache as if a knife had been stabbed through it. Sasuke looked at her and then Akiya _knew_. Pictures filled her mind of the massacre ten years ago, of the fight with Itachi, of the terrible truth he had gotten to know only after fighting his brother. For the first time Akiya realised just how much Sasuke had loved Itachi. It was no wonder he had pushed everyone away for so long. Slowly, Akiya walked to him and wrapped her arms around his body, trying to give him what little comfort she could offer.

And then Sasuke crumbled.

His whole body was shaking as they sunk to the ground, holding each other close, while he was crying wordlessly against her shoulder. Akiya, too, felt a silent tear running down her cheek, not only because she shared his pain, but also because she knew she couldn't ease it. All she could give him now was her company, and she wasn't sure whether this would be enough.

The sun was already sinking lower when Sasuke finally ran out of tears. Akiya had to admit she was surprised that he had shown her his weakness, because even in front of her, he had always wanted to be strong. He had never opened up to her so completely, letting her see all of his memories, everything that was inside of him. It made her wonder just how much pain a single person could endure.

It was Sasuke who finally broke the silence. "I still cannot believe it," he murmured. "I spent half of my life hating Itachi, trying to hunt him down and kill him, only to find out now that it is too late that all he ever did was to protect me." He closed his eyes. "I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to think anymore."

Akiya gently kissed his forehead. "You should sleep a while – your body needs the rest to recover. I'll be waiting here."

Surprisingly enough Sasuke followed her advice without a single contradiction, and despite everything that had happened fell asleep within a few minutes, proving just how exhausted he was, both physically and emotionally. Akiya sat by his side, watching him sleep, and tried to digest what had been revealed to her.

She had heard people talk about Uchiha Itachi, of course. Who had not heard about him and the Uchiha massacre? Every time he had been portrayed as a monster who had slaughtered his entire clan just to test his ability, and not few people thought he had been completely crazy. Kakashi had been the only one to paint a slightly different picture of a young, serious and composed man who always knew exactly what he did; what, of course, didn't make him any less dangerous – quite the contrary. It didn't seem to fit together, the stories and Sasuke's early memories of a loving and caring brother. Now she knew the truth. He had been ordered by the village elders to kill his clan. Being a ruthless murderer had been the role he had played so many years, but he had not acted or lied about how much he loved his younger brother. He had sacrificed everything for his brother, his family, his best friend, even his own life.

Akiya felt as if she owed him more than she could ever pay back.

When Sasuke awoke a couple of hours later, he had regained his composure. "Where are you headed?" he asked matter-of-factly when his eyes fell upon her gear.

"Iwagakure. I have a mission."

She tried to sound equally matter-of-factly and unconcerned, but there was something in her voice that betrayed her, she could see it in Sasuke's sharp look. To her luck, he decided not to ask. She wouldn't have been able to tell him how dangerous the mission was exactly right now, so she changed the topic.

"Here," she said, pulling the summoning scroll out of her pouch. "You will need a summon. I talked to Jiyuu, he agreed with this. It cannot hurt to have two people being able to summon the hawks."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow but signed the contract. He wanted to hand the scroll back to her, but Akiya shook her head. "You keep it. I would never take this with me on a mission, it is too risky – it might fall into wrong hands."

"Your mission is dangerous." It was a statement, not a question.

"When is it not?" Akiya attempted a small smile. "What will you do now?" she asked quietly. "Have you thought about that?"

"Yes." Sasuke's voice was firm, his face set. "I will seek out Danzo and the elders."

Akiya felt a hard knot form in her stomach, making her feel uncomfortable. "You want to kill them."

"Yes."

She swallowed, hard. "Sasuke..." Akiya began hesitantly. "Do you think Itachi would have wanted that? That you still nourish the hate inside of you and let your whole life be guided by it?" She shook her head slowly. "I don't think so."

"You don't know my brother."

"That is true," Akiya admitted. "But you know just as well as I do that I am right nevertheless."

Anger flashed in his eyes. "Are you questioning my decision?" Sasuke asked sharply. His voice was strained as he tried to suppress his ire, and failed. "Because if you are, then let me tell you that you have no right to do so."

"_Don't I?"_ Akiya wanted to ask, trying to ignore how much it hurt to hear these words fall from his mouth. She had every right to question his decision; after all she was his girlfriend, even if the term didn't really apply for them, because they didn't have a normal relationship. But she kept quiet – they weren't talking about their relationship right now, and Akiya knew that it would only make everything worse. She also knew that he was pushing her away right now because he was afraid of commitment, and of losing another person close to him. It had been the reason for him shutting himself away from other people ever since the massacre. After a loss like the one he had just experienced, she assumed, it was only natural that he tried to find a way out of this, away from her, to save himself from future pain. It wasn't that she didn't understand.

But it still hurt.

For the first time, Akiya found herself at a loss of words. "Sasuke, I just want to-"

"What?" he interrupted her sharply. "To come back to Konoha and pretend everything is fine?"

"I promised to never ask you to return."

"But you are doing it right now." His voice had lost some of the sharpness, but it was still cold and distant. "Although you know I cannot do it. I can't, Akiya. I cannot pretend nothing has happened. I am an avenger. Don't try to change what I am and who I am, because it's a fight you are going to lose."

Akiya inhaled deeply. Her body was trembling slightly, she realised belatedly, from fear and emotional stress. It was as if she could feel him slipping away, out of her hands, to a place where her words couldn't reach him, as if she was losing him in this very moment. Although he was standing so close to her, he was so far away. Akiya realised that she couldn't say anything to change his mind, and for the first time she feared her love might not be enough to safe him.

Akiya closed her eyes. "Sasuke," she said quietly. "You know I cannot and will not hold you back. It is not like they don't deserve to die for everything they have done. But you have to realise you cannot go on like this forever," she continued, opening her eyes again to look at his face. "One day, you will have to stop. And then you will see that revenge doesn't bring them back."

Sasuke's face darkened and something in his expression shifted, making him look even more distant and cold and angry. "I thought you understood," he almost shouted, sounding as if he had been betrayed. In a way, he probably had been. "I thought you felt the same."

"I did – I do!" Akiya desperately tried to explain. "Of course I understand. I wanted revenge just as much as you do. But then I met you, and – and everything changed. My priorities aren't the same anymore, also because I realised that whatever I do, it won't make my family alive again. "

"I know that," he replied, strained. "What are you even trying to tell me?"

"I am trying to tell you that you should at least consider the possibility that revenge won't make anyone happy. Not you, and not me," she whispered, not being aware that she used almost exactly the words Sakura had said to him the night he left Konoha. "I am trying to tell you that maybe you should begin to care about the living more than the dead."

Sasuke didn't reply but kept staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face, and Akiya knew it was no use. He would not listen to what she said. Suppressing the tears that were threatening to rise into her eyes she grabbed her ninja gear and her coat before turning around to him one last time.

"I love you," she said quietly into the hollow silence that filled the air. She knew it wasn't the right moment to tell him that, to really speak the words out loud, but she also knew it was very likely her last chance to ever say it. "Don't ever forget it. I want you to live. I want you to be happy. And regardless what will happen, this will never change. I will always be waiting for you – somewhere."

Akiya left without giving him the chance to reply, because she didn't think she would have been able to stand the pain his answer might have caused.


	26. Iwagakure

*** Chapter 25 ***

_Every time I start to believe,  
Something's raped and taken from me_

_- Korn: Freak on a leash –_

_._

_I will never change this thing that's burning in me_

_I am the one who chose my path  
I am the one who couldn't last  
I feel the life pulled from me  
I feel the anger changing me_

_- Korn: Did my time - _

* * *

Akiya moved through the forest, soundlessly and as fast as possible, never letting her concentration falter. She was nearing the housing of her targets – from now on every mistake would be fatal. She stopped when the huge building came into view, trying to catch her breath and go through her plan in her mind once again.

Her mission had read short and simple; eliminate the Saito clan. But carrying out this task was nearly impossible, and Akiya wasn't the only one who knew. It was no secret that the elders, despite her abilities and merit for Konohagakure, wanted to get rid of her, and had therefore assigned her this mission, although there might have been more suited ninja for this task.

The Saito clan was an ancient and very powerful clan that, although it never ruled in Iwagakure, always had had great influence on both the village's and the country's leaders. Lately, they had been setting their leaders against fire country and Konoha, trying to find a reason to start a war. But it wasn't only their power in politics that made the Saito clan extremely dangerous. The clan's members possessed a kekkei genkai that was unique and deadly – through their bodies flowed a strange poison, and whoever came in contact with their blood or even their skin dropped to the floor like a fly killed by some pesticide, and there was no cure.

Akiya knew that, being a midrange fighter with her weapons and ninjutsu, she wasn't really suited to do the job, not when she was forced to do it alone. Using ninjutsu against so many experienced and powerful shinobi – she didn't even know the exact numbers, in the information given to her they ranged from thirty to fifty-two – would drain her chakra and leave her defenceless. Using her weapons, like the sword Sasuke had given to her, would bring her too close to her enemy, inside his range, and then she would be doomed. Not that she wasn't anyway – who could fight so many strong enemies at once and survive?

For the lack of a better plan, Akiya had decided to drastically change her methods. No subtlety this time. No elegant and calm fighting in the style Kakashi had taught her. No complicated plan to gain the trust of someone and bring them down from the inside. This time, she would just walk in and blow the entire rotten place up.

Of course, that sounded easier than it actually was. Akiya had found a small, secret tunnel leading below the clan building where the entire Saito clan lived, but it was unlikely that it was left unguarded. And even if she should manage to get down there, she needed a huge amount of dynamite and explosive bombs to blow the place up and make sure no one survived. Which brought another problem with it – how was she going to get out of there, and out of the range of the explosion, fast enough?

The answer to this question was: not at all. Not even Jiyuu would be fast enough to get her out of there in time.

Akiya could have imagined a better death. But it was the only way to fulfil her mission, to prevent a war, and making sure at the same time no one escaped her. Whichever way she chose, with a probability of ninety-five prevent she would die on this mission. Then she at least wanted to do it thoroughly.

Akiya reached into her pouch to grab the map she had gotten of the tunnel below the building, but instead, her fingers brushed something small, hard and cool against her skin, and very familiar. She swallowed as she pulled out the amulet that Kakashi had given to her what seemed like an eternity ago. Sasuke must have slipped it into her pocket when she hadn't been looking.

Akiya felt an uncomfortable knot form in her stomach. It had been a gift, so why had he given it back? Was it because he didn't want it anymore, didn't want _her_ anymore, or was it because he thought she now needed it more than he did?

She didn't want to think about it. All she realised was that there was a great amount of chakra stored within the green stone, which could only mean that he had not used it during his fight with Itachi. Why had he not used it? He seemed to have stored so much chakra in it for an emergency, so why had he not drawn on this power?

Akiya shook her head. She had no time to think about this right now. She guessed she should be happy - an extra amount of chakra couldn't hurt. Actually, it might just be exactly what she needed to shield herself from the explosion...if she could use that barrier ninjutsu Kakashi had shown her a few months ago using this extra chakra to coat her body with it and protect herself...

Closing her eyes, Akiya inhaled deeply, trying to prepare herself for what was to come next, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she would survive.

* * *

Cautiously, Akiya sneaked into the dark and narrow tunnel, immediately cursing her luck as she felt her claustrophobia kicking in again. She'd had enough missions underground by now that she should have gotten over it, but her fear of places like those still hadn't vanished, and her nightmares continued as well, although they had gotten less.

Moving to the centre of the tunnel system, she pulled out a variety of explosives, setting them up in a way they – she hoped – would be the most effective. _"Maybe I should put some more into the tunnels as well, so that they collapse under the building and lessen the chances of anyone to survive,"_ she mused, eyeing her work._ "But then I will have less chances of escaping as well...I would have to set off the explosion from the outside, but I have no means to do so..."_

Suddenly, Akiya heard something crack behind her, as if someone had stepped on a dry branch that was now breaking under the weight. She stopped short. Yes, there was definitely someone down there. Grabbing into her pouch to pull out some of her senbon and kunai, Akiya inhaled deeply and concentrate on the light steps approaching her. She would have to choose the right moment – she couldn't show herself too early, because whoever was down there mustn't be able to alarm the rest of the Saito clan, but she also couldn't let him come much closer, or he would be so close that he could easily harm her.

Wait – wait – wait-

_Now. _

Akiya whirled around the corner, sending a kunai flying towards her opponent that should have hit him dead-on his heart.

He was faster.

The man – small and fat, so that one wouldn't have expected him to move so fluently – dodged the kunai easily and wasted no time before attacking her with a loud battle cry that was sure to warn every other person in the building above them. Akiya cursed under her breath and moved out of the way as fast as possible. She _had_ to win this fight, and she had to do it fast. Akiya wished she could use some wind-natured jutsu, but she was pretty sure the force of an attack like that would make the entire tunnel system collapse above her head, and she would rather avoid this.

There was only one way. She would have to let him closer, even if that included the risk of coming in contact with his blood. Or she could..._"Yes, that might be possible."_ She had never really used one of Sasuke's jutsus before, at least not his enhancements of the Chidori, but right now, the Chidori Senbon was exactly what she needed.

Not thinking about it any longer, Akiya waited for the opportune moment and then weaved the familiar hand signs she had seen Sasuke use once, praying to Kami that it would work. The electric weapons erupting from her hands caught the man by surprise, and he couldn't avoid the sheer quantity of them. His eyes widened in shock as they hit his body and fell to the ground. Akiya sighed, relieved. The senbon might not have killed him, but that was unimportant eight now – he would die as soon as she set off the explosion.

Hurried steps and loud voices sounded above her head, and she knew she would have to be fats now – they were coming down, into the tunnel system. She had to get out of here.

Unfortunately, the man's body was blocking the shortest way out, and Akiya didn't dare going nearer the little puddle of blood that had formed beneath his limp body. No, she would have to take another, longer way. After ripping some parts of her top and trousers apart to create a rope she could set on fire to give her more time to escape, Akiya hurried into the opposite direction, hoping she had not chosen the longest way out, and hoping no one of the Saito clan with water natured chakra reached the centre fast enough to stop the explosion.

She could see the tunnel being lit up by daylight as she neared the exit and doubled her pace. Thirty meters. Twenty. Ten. Five.

There.

_Not fast enough._

The force of the explosion hit her back and sent her flying forwards. She crashed onto the stony ground a few seconds later. Akiya could hear the unpleasant noise of cracking bones and the sickening sound of flesh being ripped open, despite the noise of the Saito clan's main building collapsing and disappearing in a huge ball of fire, dust and smoke. She didn't hear the screams of pain and terror coming from the building, nor did she notice the smell of burning wood and flesh, or the searing pain in her back or the warm, red liquid running down her legs as the world around her turned black.

* * *

He appeared out of nowhere. This seemed to be one of Madara's specialities and favourite actions, Sasuke thought. He wondered whether his ancestor just tried to catch him by surprise – which he hadn't managed until now – or whether he had something important to say. Something about his air made him suspect it was the latter.

Sasuke didn't turn around to greet Madara but kept staring at the endless sea and the sun that was slowly but surely sinking lower, waiting for the other Uchiha to break the silence.

Madara had more patience than he did.

"What?" he asked flatly, making it very clear that he did not like to be interrupted and rather would Madara to spill it out and keep it short.

"I have news from Iwagakure," Madara answered, completely unfazed by Sasuke's bad mood. It seemed he had already gotten used to his crabby and rude behaviour, and if he minded, he never let it show.

There was something in his voice, maybe just something he imagined, that made Sasuke tense. "What do I care about Iwagakure?" he replied arrogantly, trying to sound uninterested, although in reality he felt that there was something wrong.

"_Where are you headed?"_

"_Iwagakure. I have a mission."_

The edge in Akiya's voice. The tight look on her face that she tried to hide under her perfectly composed mask she wore usually. The way she bit her lower lip as always when she was nervous.

"Have you ever heard of the Saito clan?"

Sasuke blinked. He had indeed heard of that clan, and one of the most lethal kekkei genkais that was their own. And more than that. "I fought two of them once," he said coolly, leaving unsaid that he had only barely managed to get out of the fight alive. It had been one of the missions Orochimaru had assigned him almost a year ago, and Sasuke had to admit that they had been very strong – stronger than him. In the end, his Sharingan had been the reason for him defeating them, but only after being severely wounded. He had gotten lucky to not come in contact with their blood. "What's with it?" he asked, although he had a feeling he knew.

"_It would be too risky to take the scroll with me – it might fall into wrong hands."_

"Their base was attacked last night."

"_Your mission is dangerous."_

"_When is it not?"_

The forced smile. Her words that had sounded much more like a final farewell than like a normal goodbye.

Sasuke swallowed, hard. "Attacked?" he inquired, his voice sounding raspier than he had wanted it to. "How so?"

It couldn't have been Akiya. She couldn't – she would have known she couldn't go up against them and actually win. She was strong, very strong, but not as strong as him, and hell, he had had serious problems fighting two of them. She wouldn't go in there and try to fight the entire clan. She would have known she wouldn't get out of there alive...no, surely she wouldn't have...

"We don't know exactly – I sent Zetsu there to make a contract with them, they actually wanted to join us in our fight against Konoha. But when he arrived there, there was no one left to make a contract with. This time, Konoha moved faster than we did."

Sasuke's head perked up, and he turned around slightly to narrow his eyes at the masked Uchiha. "What happened?"

"It seems that someone infiltrated the tunnel system below the building and blew the entire area up."

A sharp pain as something tightened in his chest. "Any survivors?"

Madara made a sound that resembled a muffled laughter. "Survivors?" he repeated, amused. "No. They are definitely wiped out. The explosion destroyed a good deal of the forest surrounding the building within a three- mile-radius, and there is nothing left of the clan's mansion but a pile of dust. No one could have made it out of there alive. Not the members of the Saito clan, and certainly not the person who set of the explosion. This was pure suicide," he continued. "I have to admit, the elders of Konoha are quite good at making their ninja die willingly for their purposed," he added cruelly, before disappearing as soon as he had come.

The world seemed to spin around Sasuke. He could hear his own ragged breathing, but he couldn't concentrate on slowing it down as pictures and memories swirled in his head.

"_I will be waiting for you – somewhere."_

"_When is it not dangerous?"_

"_I love you."_

"_One day, you will have to stop."_

"_You will have to consider the possibility that revenge won't make anyone happy. Not you, and not me."_

"_Maybe you should begin to care about the living."_

"_Don't forget it. I want you to live. I want you to be happy. Regardless what happens..."_

She had known. Akiya had known she would die, but she had still gone to Iwagakure. She had chosen Konoha over her life. Over him. And he, although suspecting something, had been too angry at her to hold her back. And now it was too late.

How stupid had he been?

Sasuke felt like screaming, shouting his pain out into the world, but no sound escaped his mouth. It would not lessen the hurt. It wouldn't make anything better. He didn't even have many tears left to cry. Instead, he felt the pain fuel his anger and hate even more. Anger against himself for not holding her back, against Akiya for accepting the mission in the first place, against Konoha for sending her to a mission they knew she would not return from.

It was easier to direct his anger to someone else but himself – he already loathed himself enough for killing Itachi as well as for other things he had done in the past, and he knew he couldn't take any more blame on himself or he would break under it. Someone had to pay for taking everyone he loved away from him.

When Madara returned, Team Taka behind him, even the always bickering Karin and Suigetsu for once silent, Sasuke had made his decision.

He would destroy Konoha.


	27. Of pain and destiny

*** Chapter 26 ***

_And so it is  
Just like you said it would be  
Life goes easy on me  
Most of the time_

_And so it is  
The shorter story  
No love, no glory  
No hero in her sky_

_And so it is  
Just like you said it should be  
We'll be both forget the breeze  
Most of the time_

_Did I say that I love you?  
Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?_

_I can't take my eyes of you...  
I can't take my mind of you..._

_- Damien Rice: The blower's daughter –_

* * *

"Did you find anything?"

Jiyuu shook his head slightly after landing next to Sasuke. "Nothing that indicates that any members of the Saito clan survived the explosion. Or anyone else who might have been inside the building."

It wasn't like he hadn't expected this answer. He had known that sending Jiyuu to Iwa wouldn't change anything. And still, he had hoped...

"I found these, though. Outside_."_ Jiyuu dropped a pair of iron guard gloves to the ground, the ones the Konoha ANBU members wore. Like Kakashi. Or Akiya. It might have been reassuring – he could have given in to the thought that it could have been any other ANBU. But deep inside Sasuke knew they had belonged to Akiya. Despite the acrid stench of burnt earth and wood, he could swear they still smelt distinctly like her skin.

"She wouldn't have dropped them before entering the building," Sasuke murmured. "So when you found them _outside.._.she must have lost them _after_ blowing the place up. She must have made it out of there."

"I would not raise my hopes too high, Sasuke-san," Jiyuu commented cautiously. "I searched the entire region, but I did not find her or any signs of her trail. And there was a lot of blood where I found the gloves. Too much to assume that she could have been able to move out of the danger zone in time," he added. "I am sorry, Sasuke-san."

"You did not find her corpse, though." Somehow Sasuke managed to keep his voice cool and unaffected. It was easier, he found, when biting down on his tongue. The pain distracted him enough to not show any signs of weakness. It was always easier to deal with physical pain than with his feelings.

"Akiya-san was an ANBU," the hawk reminded him softly. "She would have known what to do in a situation like this. You know the rules. When heavily or even deadly wounded, or in danger of being caught by enemy forces, the top priority is to make sure no enemy will ever get any information from your body, and especially considering all the information she held this must have been of utmost importance. I do not doubt that Akiya would have hesitated to follow the rules. She was always loyal to Konoha."

"Don't say this as if it was something good," Sasuke hissed. "Her loyalty to the village cost her her life."

"She was a kunoichi. She knew her duties. Hatake Kakashi taught her that they fought to protect the ones who could not defend themselves, and I am convinced that although Akiya-san was not fond of having to kill others, she carried out her missions with pride because she knew how important her tasks were. And despite not being exactly trusted by and popular with everyone, she still loved Konoha." Jiyuu threw him a sharp look. "She would not have approved of your plans."

"Mind your own business," Sasuke snapped back. He didn't like to hear this, because he knew Jiyuu was right. Akiya, despite understanding his need to avenge his family and despite having been driven by the same need once, would not have wanted that he killed innocent people. Neither would have Itachi. They would not have seen that the civilians in Konoha weren't as innocent as the two had thought – they were responsible for their deaths, they were the reason why they had died. And, albeit unknowingly, they had taken everything from him. Of course both Itachi and Akiya would tell him this line of argument was stupid, because this was what shinobi did: sacrificing themselves for their village. But neither Akiya nor Itachi were here to stop him, and neither was feeling his pain and his anger that could make them understand why he had to do this.

"I know she would not have wanted it," Sasuke said through gritted teeth while turning away from Jiyuu to look over to his team. Juugo, Karin and Suigetsu were resting a few feet away from him, waiting for him to tell them to start moving again. "But Konoha took everything I loved away from me – now I will take everything from them. I _will_ destroy Konoha."

"I am afraid to say you are wasting your time." Again, Madara appeared out of nowhere. This time, though, he really managed to catch Sasuke off guard.

"What do you mean by this?" Sasuke inquired. "How did you even find us here?" he asked, throwing a glace backwards to where the rest of Team Taka was. Karin and Suigetsu were bickering, as always, while Juugo was sitting there with his eyes closed, probably trying to restrain himself from killing them.

"I have my means," was the uninformative answer. "Do not underestimate me, Sasuke. It would not be a wise thing to do. Especially not when I am angry with you for betraying me."

"I do not see where I betrayed you," Sasuke replied icily. "I have no affiliation with Akatsuki anymore. I brought you the eight-tails. And now we are headed to Konoha."

"What you brought me was not to the real Hachibi but merely a substitute. Frankly, I am disappointed that he managed to outwit you. As for Konoha – there's no use going there," Madara continued, unfazed. "Pain, my subordinate, crushed the village already. It is now nothing but a pile of dust and rubble. If you want to have your revenge, I suggest you pay a visit to the five Kages. They have called a meeting, and since Danzo, who was also responsible for the Uchiha massacre and your brother's suffering, has been appointed the new Hokage now that Tsunade died along with everyone else in this village, he will be there. Don't you think this would be a good opportunity to finish him?"

Sasuke balled his hands to fists as he contemplated everything he had just learned. "Fine," he said finally. "Take us there."

* * *

Utter darkness surrounded her like a thick cloak, pushing her down and crushing her with endless weight that never seemed to ease. She couldn't see. She couldn't hear. She couldn't move.

Still, it felt strangely soothing.

If this was death, it was nothing like Akiya had expected it to be.

"Do you think she will wake up now?"

"No, not just yet. She is still too weak. Her body needs more time to recover."

The quiet voices reached her ears, faded whispers, blurry like the sight under water as she slipped in and out of consciousness, but the words didn't make any sense to her. She tried to grab the thoughts, but she didn't have enough strength to catch them and keep the words with her. Fatigue washed over her again, and Akiya let herself sink back into the darkness, grateful for the quietness and peace it offered.

When her consciousness reached the surface again, Akiya would not have been able to tell how much time had passed since falling unconscious again. An hour? A week? A month?

The darkness was still around her, a warm and reassuring blanket, and a tempting promise of continuous peace. It would have been so much easier to just accept the offer and let herself be lured back. But there was a voice in her mind, a voice that did not belong to her, and it said _"You have to wake up now. You cannot stay in the shadows forever. There is something you still need to do."_

With a quiet groan, Akiya obeyed and blinked her eyes open, only to press them shut again as a flashy light blinded her. "Ugh." She grunted, raising her hand to hold her head with some difficulty. She could hardly move. Her head hurt. _Everything _hurt.

"Take it easy," a slightly amused voice commented. "It will take a while until you will be able to frolic and stomp around again."

Akiya opened her eyes again, slower this time, and only so much that she could just see the person sitting by her side. It was an old woman with snow-white hair and equally pale skin, yet she didn't look fragile because of her stoutly built body and bright eyes. Akiya was sure she had never seen her before, and yet, her face looked vaguely familiar. Maybe her mind was just playing tricks on her.

Assuming that she wasn't in danger at the moment, she let her gaze wander across the small but tidy room she was in, and then over her body. Even through the blanket she could see that almost every inch of her body was wrapped in thick bandages, making it difficult to breathe or move. Pictures of her most recent memories flashed her mind – Iwa, the Saito clan's building, fire, blood, screams... Sasuke. Somehow, it hurt the most to think about him, his anger, his pain. The feeling of losing him, of him changing into someone she didn't want him to be.

Akiya swallowed, pushing the thoughts aside. "What happened?" she managed to get out, her voice sounding raspy and being barely audible because her throat was so dry.

The woman noticed her discomfort and reached out to hold a glass of water to Akiya's lips. "Here. Drink first." She waited until Akiya had swallowed a few mouthfuls before speaking again. "You must have a lot of questions."

"I do."

"Well, then. Let me introduce myself first. My name is Hisa. Just Hisa," she added as she saw the surprised look on Akiya's face. "No family name. And this," she continued, gesturing around, "is my humble cottage."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Hisa-san. I am-"

"I know who you are," the old woman interrupted her gently, ignoring the confused frown she earned for that. "If I hadn't, I would not have brought you here to heal your wounds. I usually do not let shinobi cross my doorstep."

"But I _am_ a kunoichi, and from an antagonistic country as well," Akiya remarked quietly. "I killed every single member of the Saito clan, thus highly weakening your country. You must despise me for that." She inhaled deeply. "Why did you allow me to live?"

The old woman chuckled. "Firstly, I do not despise you for your actions – not more than you do yourself, at least, and probably even less. Secondly, and most importantly, I am not only both repaying a debt and fulfilling a promise by saving your life – I am carrying out the task that was assigned to me in this great play that we call life, and I am making sure you will play your part as well."

"What are you even talking about?"

Hisa chuckled again, amused by the distrusting look Akiya was giving her while she wondered whether the old woman was slightly insane. "Do you think the gods don't have plans for us, young girl? Do you think anything in this world happens that Kami does not want to happen?"

Akiya snorted. "You do not expect me to believe in that, do you?" she deadpanned, for once not caring how rude it sounded.

"Why would you not believe in Kami?"

Akiya raised an eyebrow. "Maybe that's just me, but I don't really see the gods around doing anything to save this world. And I do not believe in things I have no proof for."

"Of course not," Hisa smiled mysteriously, apparently unfazed by Akiya's almost aggressive tone. "They do not interfere themselves. There are people in this world who carry out their will for them. Like me. Like you." She looked at Akiya pointedly. "Most people never realize this – they make their own decisions, thinking it would not affect the future of everyone else. But even this is fine. The future is not set in stone, they say, and that it all depends on the decision you make in life. In some parts, this is true. There are many ways, one as good as the other, and the future might change slightly depending on the path you choose. But in the end, whatever route you may take, every single one will lead you to the same point. No one can escape his fate. Not even you, Umeko Midori."

Akiya sat up as if stung by an adder when hearing her name fall from the old woman's lips as if it was the most ordinary thing to say, and gasped instantly when her body was telling her in a very direct way that this had _not_ been exactly the smartest thing to do. She did not care much about the searing pain shooting through her limps, however. "How do you know this?" she whispered, temporarily forgetting all the confusing talk about fate and gods. "How do you know my name?"

A sad smile ghosted over Hisa's thin lips. "You look very much like your mother," she stated softly.

Akiya was stunned for a second. "You knew my mother?"

"Indeed, I did. And your sister. And you." The woman threw her an appraising look. "But you do not remember this, do you?"

"No." Akiya shook her head. "I was wondering whether I had seen your face before, but..." she trailed off. "What was she like?" she asked then. "My mother?"

"She was as kind as to waste her precious time and pay a lonely and known as crazy lady who had already then lived too long a visit now and then to keep her company, although her clan did not approve of it."

It seemed that the old woman was not inclined to give her further information. Akiya opened her mouth to speak, to ask more of the thousand questions that burned on her tongue, but Hisa cut her off before she could even begin to speak. "You should rest a little more now. Your body is not yet capable of enduring too much stress. You were heavily wounded, after all. I will have a look at your injuries before bringing you some soup, and then you should sleep. I will tell you everything relevant tomorrow."

Begrudgingly, Akiya accepted the deal. Her head was spinning already and her whole body was aching, so she figured that sleeping would be something reasonable to do right now. If she didn't she might just pass out while listening to Hisa's story.

"How long have I been here?" she asked quietly as Hisa removed some of the bandages. She was surprised that the wounds, although they were still hurting and itching, seemed to be relatively well healed. It was obvious that they had been pretty deep and that some scars would remain, but it wasn't as bad as she had imagined.

"You have been unconscious for two weeks and a half", Hisa replied casually. "Which is no wonder considering the state you were in when I found you. At some point my apprentice and I thought we would lose you. You were lucky to have this amulet of yours," she added. "Let me guess: you covered your body with the chakra stored in it to create an extra shield and lessen the impact of the explosion."

Akiya nodded, somehow not too surprised by the revelation that Hisa knew about chakra storing stones and the basic principles of jutsus. In fact, she assumed the old woman knew a lot more than that, too. "You are a medic-nin, aren't you?" she guessed.

"I used to be." Another mysterious smile. "However, I retired a long, long time ago. My story, however, is of little relevance. It is _your_ story we will have to talk about. But now, you should sleep." Hisa pushed her down resolutely, and as soon as Akiya closed her eyes, she drifted into sleep.


	28. The Umeko clan's story

*** Chapter 27 ***

_I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll  
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds  
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to  
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved, and I_

_I've woken now to find myself_  
_In the shadows of all the lie I've created_  
_I'm longing to be lost in you_  
_I've woken now to find myself_  
_I'm lost in the shadows of my own_  
_I'm longing to be lost in you_  
_Won't you take me away from me?_

_- Evanescence: Away from me - _

* * *

It took another three days until Akiya finally felt strong enough to stand up and walk again, albeit only a few steps under the ever-observant eyes of the old woman who took care of her. Her wounds were now healing fast thanks to Hisa's treatments and her regaining strength. The former medic-nin was almost constantly by her side when she wasn't sleeping, telling her interesting and entertaining anecdotes of her long life. Akiya found herself listening to them with increasing delight, especially since there was not much else to do for her apart from chopping some vegetables for their daily meal. However, despite her promise, Hisa had yet to reveal the truth about the Umeko clan to her.

Akiya had tried to be patient. She had thought Hisa would come around to tell her the story when she deemed the time to have come. After another two days of recovering and sleeping for a great deal of the day, it finally struck her that she had been stuck here for more than three weeks.

Three weeks were a long time. Anything could happen within three weeks, especially in the shinobi world. Akiya realized that she had no idea what had been going on in Konoha, nor did she have any means to contact anyone there. Although her body was healing rapidly, she did not yet dare use her chakra to perform any kind of ninjutsu or summon one of the hawks, fearing that it might knock her out again.

Contemplating all this, Akiya knew she could not stay much longer. But before she returned to Konoha, she wanted to know what Hisa had meant to tell her.

Strangely enough, the thought that there was someone who could give her information about her clan, her family, did not thrill her as much as it would have only half a year ago. Back then, she would have given anything to find out about her past. But ever since Orochimaru had called her by her real name she had realized she had no connection to her former life at all. Hearing her name had not brought forth any memories. She was still genuinely curious about it, but it wasn't her life-task anymore. She wasn't upset with Tsunade for not finding any information about the Umeko clan, she wasn't even upset that she hadn't been the one to kill Orochimaru, because she had long since accepted that, even if the memories returned one day – which she highly doubted – she would not be able to just return to her old life. She was Akiya now. She would only ever be Akiya. And that was fine.

So, while being interested in what Hisa could tell her about the Umeko clan, Akiya was much more intrigued by the remark the old woman had made concerning "her part in the play", as she had phrased it. All this talk about not being able to escape fate, about it all coming down to one final moment…what did she want to achieve with that? It had sounded as if she was convinced that she knew about Akiya's fate – something Akiya would have discarded as downright silly, had it come from any other person. She had never believed in destiny. She had no intention of starting to do so whatsoever.

Still, she had the feeling that the mysterious woman could be right.

Slowly, Akiya began to pack her things, grateful for the fact that Hisa had been as thoughtful as to pick up her scattered belongings when she found her. Almost everything was there, her weapon pouch, the sword Sasuke ad given to her, the headband she's been carrying in one of the pockets. Only her ANBU mask and her guard gloves were missing, as well the bag containing food, beverages and extra clothes, but that was nothing that couldn't be replaced. The worst thing, she thought while adjusting the sword on her back, was probably that, since the clothes she had been wearing on the mission had been shredded when the explosion hit her and her changing clothes had been lost, she was now forced to wear the only thing that Hisa had been able to provide her with. Namely, a white dress that hang loosely around her body, reaching down to her ankles. A _dress_. How impractical and unfunctional was that? Akiya had never worn a dress before, because how the hell was she supposed to fight in this? Not that she wanted to get involved in a fight during her journey home, but still. This was horrifying, and Akiya would have really liked to refuse it, had it not been for the fact that a) this would have been extremely impolite, and b) she would have had to go nude, which would have been way worse.

Akiya proceeded into the kitchen, where Hisa was seated, sipping tea. She looked up when she heard Akiya enter, and frowned. "You are not yet in the condition to travel such long a distance, Midori-san," she stated calmly. Although Akiya had asked her not to call her by this name, Hisa had never stopped to do so.

"I will go anyway," Akiya replied simply. "I cannot stay any longer. And I have been travelling in worse conditions than that." She cracked a tiny smile. "You took care of me well."

Hisa examined her for a moment, then nodded and beckoned her to sit down. "Take a seat, Midori-san. I have something to tell you before you go. It is about time you were informed about your clan's history – and about its future."

Akiya's head shot up, narrowing her eyes at the woman, but remained silent as she waited impatiently for her to begin.

* * *

"The Umeko clan's story reaches far back into history, into a time when the world was even rougher and crueler than it is now. I will not linger on the details about the countless fights that took place back then – I am sure you know all about the ninja world wars. The members of the Umeko clan, of course, participated in those fights as well, although less than other clans – their kekkei genkai was never really meant to use in an open fight, very unlike the Sharingan or other bloodline limits. They always worked more in the background, pulling the strings, forging alliances and spying on their enemies, much like the work you did, if I recall correctly.

However, despite their strong kekkei genkai and their efforts to fight for the land of earth and Iwagakure, the Umeko clan was never held in high regard for it. Instead, they were despised and rejected for almost never fighting in open battles, as well as for opposing the Tsuchikage several times by questioning his decisions. The shinobi of Iwa thought of them as weak cowards who didn't dare risking their lives for the cause, because thus, the Umeko clan lost far less members than the rest of them. It was because of this disdain displayed by the village residents that they didn't live in Iwagakure itself but in a small, closed-off valley nearby the village, where they found some peace. Still, they were always known to be loyal to Iwagakure and the land of earth, not once betraying their leaders or giving away information when caught, not even under torture, and despite being powerful never once reaching for the leadership of this country.

Also, unlike many other powerful clans like the Uchihas or Hyuugas, the Umeko clan was always very small, and, as Orochimaru already revealed to you, only the women in this clan could obtain the kekkei genkai, which is why girls were worshipped more than boys. Their bloodline limit was usually activated at very young an age, and the girls were always trained to use it to the fullest before they were taught how to hold a kunai.

Time passed, and the Third Great Shinobi World War came over the great nations. By that time I had already known your mother for almost fifteen years. She was a very strong kunoichi, I might add, even as a ten-year-old. Yet, she had always downright refused to kill anyone, which was why she wasn't sent on mission very often. People forgave her this eccentric behavior because she was the kindest, most charming and amiable person you could imagine – and because she was to be the clan head's wife.

I will not say your mother was unhappy in her marriage, but she was never really happy, either. Their marriage was one of convenience, arranged by their parents when they were only toddlers. She did not love your father and neither did he love her – and maybe that was a reason for her to come to me even more often than before. Your father did not like this very much, as I pointed out to you earlier; he, as well as the rest of the clan, distrusted me, because I had lived far longer than a human being would usually do, and he blamed me for corrupting your mother's mind and convincing her not to fight.

However, this did not stop her from visiting me. She came to me for advice when she was pregnant with your elder sister, and I was there when she gave birth to her, just as well as I was there when you were born. All she ever wanted was to protect the two of you – and to make sure you would never have to experience war.

This, of course, angered your father beyond words, and he would have none of it. Do not misunderstand me; your father was a good man, but he was as hot-tempered as your mother was stubborn. He was determined to make his daughters become the best kunoichis the land of earth had ever seen. And when another clan from Iwagakure questioned the Umeko clan's loyalty to Iwa _again_, he decided to prove them all wrong and led most of the shinobi and kunoichi of his clan into battle against Konoha.

I will not speak more about the suffering and sorrow this caused but that most members of the Umeko clan died that day, including your father. Your mother, already having suspected an outcome like this, had already packed her belongings and fled the country with you and your sister, but not before making me swear that, should anything happen to her, I would protect you with all means. Now being a traitor of her country and her clan, she turned to the most unexpected place: the land of fire, the biggest enemy of her former country, hoping that no one would ever think of searching for her there. You lived in a small village a few hours from Konoha, never revealing your true name or your abilities. How Orochimaru found out, I do not know.

But what is even more important is that, on the battlefield on which your father and so many other Umeko died, it became obvious that your clan's kekkei genkai was, next to the one of the Senju clan, probably the only one to be as powerful as the Sharingan. There are not many who can hold an Uchiha at bay or even defeat him, but some of the stronger kunoichis managed to take several Uchiha down. In them, they had found an even match. The Uchiha could copy their jutsu, yes – but on the other hand, the members of the Umeko clan could basically foresee their movements by reading their thoughts. I suppose I do not have to say the Uchihas were shocked about this development, becoming rather determined to wipe out the Umeko clan to the last member.

And it was on this day, that the prophecy was proclaimed. A prophecy which was as bemusing as it was frightening. It talked about a great threat brought upon the world by someone who was believed to be dead, and a Fourth Shinobi World War. It said: _To defeat the evil, an uncommon alliance must be made. Two bloodlines that both oppose and complete each other must overcome their former rivalry and fight together, so that one of them can defeat itself and purify its name. The last of their clans they will be, overstepping the boundaries and the limits of trust to bring a bit of peace to a war-ridden world…"_

* * *

Akiya sat stunned for a while, trying to asses Hisa's words. "So…the prophecy tells me that, in order to kill Uchiha Madara, I will have to make an alliance with the last remaining Uchiha, namely Sasuke….if the prophecy is speaking about us at all."

"I have no doubt she is," Hisa commented.

"Hn," Akiya grunted quietly, not entirely sure whether she liked what she had heard. She needed more time to think about that, but she would have plenty of time on her way back to Konoha, seeing that she couldn't move as fast as usually.

Another thought crossed her mind. "What happened to the rest of my clan?" she asked. "The ones who didn't die on the battlefield along with my father?"

Hisa shook her head. "Their small village was attacked a few days after that. I was not in the area, but instead healing the injured in Iwagakure, so I cannot tell you whether anyone survived and fled. All I can tell you is that I have never seen any Umeko again, except for your mother. And if the prophecy is true, which I do not doubt, then it would be obvious that you are indeed the last of your clan."

It did not surprise her, somehow. She wasn't even sure anymore whether she had wanted to meet any of them had they still been alive.

Akiya sighed and moved to stand up. "Thank you very much, Hisa-san. For everything."

She was already halfway to the door when Hisa's voice stopped her. "You cannot go just yet. My task is not yet fulfilled. I have something more to give to you. Come here."

Slowly, Akiya walked over to her and kneeled in front of the old woman. "What is it that you want to give me?"

Another mysterious smile played around the corners of Hisa's lips. "There will come the time when you have to decide whether or not to save a life. No, there will come the time when you will _have to_ save a life. But you cannot do this alone. A life for a life, this is how it is – it is always an exchange, nothing more. And you mustn't give your life for this, because you will still be needed. Therefore, it is my task to enable you to do this by giving you my chakra and storing it in your amulet so that you can use it when the time comes. All of it," she added lightly while watching Akiya blink as realization dawned on her.

"No," Akiya answered quickly. "No, Hisa-san, you cannot do this. How could I let you die like this, how could _you_ give your life away like this?"

"Akiya," the old woman interrupted her sternly, and the sound of her calling her by her new name made Akiya stop. "I have various reasons to do this. Firstly, because I promised your mother I would protect you and your sister at all costs. I failed your sister, but I will not let you take over my burden. Secondly, I knew this would be my fate for a long time and I will gladly fulfill it. I have lived longer than most men do, and I have had a full life; I do not regret it will come to an end here and now. In fact, I have only lived so long because I have waited for this day, for this moment, so that I could finally go. Death is just another journey we all have to make, and one I am not afraid of."

Without hesitating, Hisa put a hand on the cool, green stone of the amulet and began to let her chakra flow into it. "Do not dare to try and run away," she warned. "I may not look very strong, but be assured that I do have my means to prevent you from impeding me to do this. I have already made arrangements concerning my funeral as well, so there is nothing else you need to take care of. Once my task is fulfilled I want you to travel to Konoha as fast as possible for you, without lingering here, without looking back. I will have you have you promise not to forget what I told you."

Akiya felt moisture rise into her eyes. Over the last few days, she had grown to like Hisa, and the last thing she wanted was to see her dying before her eyes by giving her every single drop of chakra that flowed through her body. Hisa saw it and smiled. "Do not cry, Akiya-san. You will gain something much more valuable from my death than my life would have given you."

And then, a few moments later, her lifeless body slumped to the ground.


	29. In pieces

*** Chapter 28 ***

_In the time that passed  
You went down so fast  
You went down so fast..._

_Out of my reach, out of my hands  
I didn't understand  
I would have changed all my plans_

_Milow feat. Marit Larsen: Out of my hands -_

_**.**_

_The mind is poison  
Castles in the sky sit stranded, vandalized  
A drawbridge is closin'_

_Out where the dreams are high, out where the wind don't blow_  
_Out here, the good girls die and the sky won't snow_  
_Out here, the bird don't sing, out here, the field don't grow_  
_Out here, the bell don't ring, out here, the bell don't ring_  
_Out here, the good girls die_

_Now Cinderella, don't you go to sleep_  
_It's such a bitter form of refuge_  
_Oh don't you know, the kingdom's under siege_  
_And everybody needs you?_  
_Is there still magic in the midnight sun_  
_Or did you leave it back in '61?_  
_In the cadence of a young man's eyes_  
_I wouldn't dream so high_

_- The Killers: A dustland fairytale – _

* * *

"Dear Kami," Akiya whispered in horror as she looked down on the rubble that used to be Konoha.

The destruction was everywhere. Broken stones and wood trusses lay everywhere, covered with dust and earth, the streets seemed to be upside down and not even the forest that used to surround the village had been left unharmed. Tree trunks were broken, uprooted, shredded to pieces like the buildings that used to shelter the inhabitants of Konoha. Not the strongest thunderstorm or hurricane would have been able to cause such an utter damage.

Akiya felt her heart beat painfully deep in her chest, and she would have swallowed hardly if it hadn't been for the fact that every moisture had left her mouth the moment her gaze fell upon the shattered village, leaving her throat dry and her body trembling. She didn't even want to think about how many lives had been lost in this fight she had been completely ignorant of only a few minutes ago.

How could this happen?

It didn't really reassure her that she could see people climbing over the rubble, like busy ants, most likely trying to save whatever could be saved – which would probably not be very much. Akiya closed her eyes, trying to calm down her breathing. She wanted nothing more than to run towards those people, to search for Kakashi and Genma, to make sure they were alright, and yet, she dreaded nothing more than doing exactly that. For what would she do if they...

Akiya didn't even want to think about. She couldn't even finish this sentence in her own thoughts. And she guessed she understood them better now, Kakashi and Sasuke. She had lost people who had been precious to her, yes, but that had been in a former life, one she didn't remember. Now she didn't even know whether she had lost any of her friends, and still, she knew for sure that this was a feeling she never wanted to experience again. Never.

It was easier to go on a mission, knowing you would die, than bearing the pain of losing someone you love.

"Akiya? Akiya!" A familiar voice shouted her name and a blink of an eye later, before she even had the time to really register what was going on, Genma stood in front of her and buried her in a lung-crushing hug.

Akiya winced in pain as his arm pressed on the wound on her back, which, being the most serious of her injuries caused by the explosion, was still far from being fully healed. Noticing her discomfort, Genma pulled away a bit to examine her face.

"Are you okay?"

Akiya nodded weakly, and a smile flashed across Genma's face.

"Kami, I thought I'd never see you again. And – the hell, is this a _dress _you are wearing?" he spluttered.

Akiya chose to wisely ignore that last comment which was clearly aimed to rob the last part of her dignity. She frowned at him. "I never told you about my mission," she replied warily.

"Yeah, I'm kinda aware of that," Genma huffed. "You didn't say goodbye either. Just for the record, I'm still pissed about that, so-"

"Genma." Akiya interrupted him quietly. "What happened?"

It was almost funny to see how easily he could switch from one mood into another. Within a second, the smile had slid off his face to reveal his tired, solemn and bitter face. "Akatsuki attacked only two days after you left. As you can see, they didn't leave much for us behind."

"How many dead?"

"None."

Akiya whirled around, staring at him wide-eyed, convinced that she had heard him wrong. "None?" she repeated incredulously. That was impossible.

"Well, it depends on how you ask, I guess. A lot of people died when this Pain guy attacked – however, not a single one of them is still dead. It seems that Naruto talked to him and somehow made him resurrect all the people he had previously killed. I don't know how he managed to change his mind, but thanks to the power of the Rinnegan, they are all alive and kicking again."

Akiya exhaled. "So Kakashi is..."

"Yeah, he is alright again."

'_Again?' _She felt an uncomfortable knot form in her stomach as she realized that Genma had just told her, with a subtlety she had not know he was capable of, that Kakashi had been dead. She was incredibly thankful that he had told her that everyone was alive again first, because otherwise she would have most likely had a complete breakdown. "Thank Kami," she murmured. "Where is he now?"

"I'll take you to him," Genma promised. "...So, what happened to you?" he asked softly as they made their way through the rubble. "You sure look like shit."

"Thank you," Akiya commented dryly but smiled despite herself. It was Genma's way to show he cared, and she guessed he could have found worse way to express this. "That is how you look when you almost blew yourself up. I wouldn't recommend trying it if you don't have someone capable of patching you back together at your side."

"But you made it."

"Hai. I made it," Akiya answered slowly. "Because I had someone to patch my body parts back to one piece."

"That bad?"

"I don't know how bad it was exactly, and I am sure I don't want to know either."

"You should get your wounds looked at," Genma told her sternly.

"Later," Akiya said indifferently. She didn't care half as much about her injuries as for the spot of messy silver-white hair she had just spotted in the middle of the chaos, and she quickened her steps.

Kakashi sensed her before she was near enough to call him. She saw how he stopped abruptly in his tracks when he felt the faint signal of her chakra signature, how he hesitated before turning around, afraid that it was only his mind playing tricks on him. He waited for her there, watching her warily while she approached, until she stood right in front of him.

She smiled. "I'm back."

He pulled her to him, gently wrapping his arms around her, and let out all the air he'd held with a loud sigh when he realized that it was indeed her, in the flesh, and not some kind of ghost. Akiya could feel how the tension fell from his shoulder as he relaxed while she buried her face in his chest.

"I thought I'd...that you'd-"Kakashi swallowed hard, and his voice cracked.

"I know." Akiya said softly. "Sorry."

Then she looked up to his face and froze. She had expected him to look happy, relieved. Not...like that. So desperate and weary and broken. "Kakashi," she whispered, shocked. "What-"

"Let's go somewhere private. We need to talk."

* * *

"No." It was supposed to sound resolute, but it left her mouth as nothing more than a whisper. "No, this cannot be."

She didn't believe this. She couldn't believe this. She didn't _want_ to believe this.

And yet Kakashi's eyes told her that it was not a lie.

"I am sorry," he said quietly.

Akiya felt the warm tears running down her face and wondered just how much pain a single person could cause another. The day Kakashi had started to train her she had sworn to herself to never cry again, and yet here she was, unable to stop the tears from falling. Sasuke was good at that – making her cry. He had also been good at making her happier than anyone else, but what good did that when he could leave everything behind so easily and crush her, seemingly without regrets?

Not for the first time, Akiya mused that falling in love with an S-rank criminal was neither the smartest nor the healthiest thing to do.

She had always been so good at controlling her feelings, at hiding them, restraining them. It had been easier that way – it had kept her from getting hurt. Meeting Sasuke, though, had made both her feelings and her life go into a never ending turmoil, battering down all the walls she had so carefully built up over years, and now she had to pay the price for letting him come so close, for letting this happen.

Maybe she had just been stupid and naive.

Scratch that; she had definitely been stupid and naive.

Silently, Kakashi sat down next to her and slipped his arm around her shoulder. "This is my fault," he muttered darkly. "I guess I haven't really been a good sensei. I could have – I _should _have prevented this."

Akiya shook her head. "It's not your fault. It's mine," she said, her fingers playing with the cool, dark green stone of her amulet. It made her wonder whether this was the reason he had given it back to her - because he had known he would take another path, that he would leave her behind.

"I knew he was upset after the fight with Itachi, after finding out the truth. Upset and confused and angry," she continued quietly. "I should have stayed with him. I should have been there for him when he needed me, but – but I wasn't. I left for that mission, although I _felt_ him slipping away already, and – _I_ should have prevented this. _I could have._ I might have been able to fix him had I only stayed, but instead I left him to deal with this on his own and I – I failed him. I _let _him slip away when I should have been the one to drag him away from this hole of darkness. Had I known it would end like this, I wouldn't have gone. I never – I never believed he would fall that far. I thought he was stronger than that."

"You believed in him," Kakashi replied calmly. "There is nothing wrong with that. We all did."

"Believing in someone is different to leaving them hanging when they need your help," Akiya contradicted. "And the latter is what I did." And she knew she would never forgive herself that. But it was too late now. It was done. It was over.

Akiya had never thought it would end like this: the two of them standing on different sides in a war, and him trying to destroy Konoha and to kill her best friend. Biting her lips to prevent the sob which was threatening to force his way out of her mouth, Akiya wiped away the tears on her face. She couldn't think about this right now or it would drive her crazy. She needed something to distract her. Something to _do_, so that she wouldn't feel so extremely useless.

"Where are you going?" Kakashi asked as she pushed herself up and stood, wincing again as a sharp pain shot down her spine.

"First of all, I'm going to find myself a medic to have a look at my back. And then – I will find myself something useful to do."

* * *

Akiya didn't even look up from her charts and lists as she gave orders to the group of chunin who had been assigned to help her to remove the rubble and rebuild in a certain section of Konoha. "Inuzuka-san, please fetch me another shinobi who controls the lightning element, I need his assistance – we cannot remove those stones, they are too big, therefore we need to crush them by using lightning bolts. You two, go and find _something_ we can gather the bricks in, we don't want to carry them away piece by piece. Anything. And –"

"Akiya." Kakashi's sharp voice cut through the air. "What are you _doing_, for Kami's sake?"

"I am doing my job," Akiya replied harshly, "as you can very well see. So, for the –"

She was interrupted again. "Are you out of your mind?" he asked, exasperated. "You can't just work as if nothing ever happened; your body is too weak for that because you nearly _died-_"

"Well, at least unlike you, I didn't," she snapped and turned around to hand a scroll to the last chunin. "Please bring this to Tsunade-sama. And on your way back, please find Nara Shikamaru, I have something to talk to him about."

Kakashi sighed. "Akiya."

There was no reproof in his voice, yet Akiya felt her shoulder fall down. "Sorry," she murmured. "I'm just – oh, I don't even know."

"It is nearly nightfall. You should get some rest."

"Hn." Akiya leaned her back against the big stone and let herself glide to the ground, burying her face in her hands. "I don't want to rest. Working keeps my mind off...things."

"You cannot run away forever, Akiya."

"I know." She sighed. "I don't know what to do anymore. When Hisa told me about the prophecy, I thought it was about me and Sasuke. But now...what if it wasn't? What if he isn't the one I have to fight with, but the one I have to fight _against?_ Theoretically – if I am affected by this prophecy at all – any kekkei genkai could be the one that both opposed and completes mine, and I might never know. Because, strictly speaking, Sasuke is not the last of his clan, so it might be that they weren't speaking about an Uchiha at all. So what if he is the evil I have to defeat? What if – oh Kami!_"_ Akiya broke off abruptly, trying to suppress the moisture that was rising in her eyes. She felt pathetic.

"Could you do it if you had to?" Kakashi asked quietly. "Could you kill him?"

"If I were strong enough to do so, which, I might add, I am not?" Akiya stared into nothingness before shaking her head. "No," she whispered. "No, I couldn't. Not even after all he did."

"You love him," another voice commented.

Akiya nearly jumped. "Shikamaru!" she gasped.

_Well, damn._

Seeing how both she and Kakashi tensed visibly, Shikamaru sighed. "Don't worry; I am not going to run through the village telling everyone," he reassured them. "It's not like I only figured that one out today anyway."

Akiya guessed she should have known that. She hadn't exactly given much away the day she had gone cloud watching with Shikamaru, but for a genius like him, it would probably have been more than enough to draw the right conclusions.

"I just wonder what you are still doing here, though," he continued lazily.

"Pardon me?" Akiya stared at him incredulously.

"Well, aren't you going to search for him? Are you just going to sit here and do nothing? Because I think, if there was anyone able to make him see reason, it would be you." Shikamaru tilted his head, examining her. "Never figured you would be one to give up that easily."

"What do you suggest I do?" Akiya asked bitterly. "Walk up to him and ask him to come back, thus breaking my promise to never do that and making him even more angry?"

"Sometimes promised have to be broken to save a person," Shikamaru stated calmly. "Anyway, I thought you believed in him."

"I did. Before he tried to kill Kakashi and Naruto and destroy the entire village." Akiya closed her eyes. "This is not the Sasuke I know. I don't understand him anymore. I don't understand why he is doing this. When I met him the last time, he talked about killing the persons who gave the orders for the Uchiha massacre. I could comprehend this. But this is beyond comprehension for me, I – I don't know what changed him so much that he would do this."

"I think I might," Shikamaru said. "I have been thinking a lot about Kakashi's report and what Sasuke said while they were fighting. He said something about Konoha taking everything he cared for away from him, correct?" he asked Kakashi, who nodded warily. "But Konoha didn't take _everything _away from him, did it now?"

_Oh._ Akiya's eyes widened as she began to understand what Shikamaru was getting at.

"Akiya, when was the last time you saw or contacted Sasuke?"

"The day I left for the mission to Iwa," she answered promptly.

"And you haven't contacted him since?"

"There was no way to do so – I was unconscious for almost three weeks, and Hisa told me not to use my chakra until I had a medic check my chakra system, not even to summon Jiyuu or Keisho."

"Did he know what you mission was?" Shikamaru continued his interrogation.

Akiya shook his head. "He knew I was headed to Iwa, but nothing more."

"Well, it wouldn't have been hard to find out," Kakashi interjected gravely. "We heard about the explosion and the elimination of the Saito clan although we didn't have any spies in this area. The word spreads quickly, and I am sure he was smart enough to put two and two together. And I can see that the thought of you dying on a suicide mission could make him snap completely."

Akiya could see it, too. In her head, all the pieces were finally putting themselves together. How could she not have seen this before?

Without thinking, Akiya bit down on her finger just hard enough to draw blood and slammed her hand to the ground to summon Jiyuu.


	30. Reunions

*** Chapter 29 ***

_So tell me now  
If this ain't love then how do we get out?  
'cause I don't know_

_That's when she said:  
"__I don't hate you boy,  
I just wanna save you  
While there's still something left to save"_

_- Rise Against: Saviour – _

* * *

"Are you sure he is in there?" Akiya turned around to look at Jiyuu questioningly. The hawk had, after overcoming his surprise when seeing that Akiya was still alive, immediately brought her to the place where Sasuke had contacted him the last time – and that although he was still worn out from when Sasuke had summoned him to help him fight Danzo. Jiyuu had sustained several injuries during that fight, fortunately only minor ones, but Akiya was well aware that flying over great distances with high speed, like she had urged him to do just now, was still painful for him.

She trusted Jiyuu to take her to the right place, but she found it strange that the den seemed to be deserted. Akiya could not make out Sasuke's chakra signature at all, but that could be because he had cloaked his chakra – it wouldn't surprise her. What was suspicious was rather that there was no one else around; no member of the Akatsuki could be seen, and neither Suigetsu nor Juugo were there either.

Akiya just hoped she hadn't missed him again.

Jiyuu answered her question with a short nod. "Hai, Akiya-san, I am sure that he is still in there. Sasuke-san is still recovering from the fight with Danzo and the eye transplantation."

Akiya swallowed. It was a strange thought: that Sasuke would never look at her with his own eyes again. Ever. Of course she understood that, if the alternative was going blind, it was a logical action, yet she wondered whether she would still see Sasuke when she looked at him now – or Itachi.

"There is no need for you to be so worried," Jiyuu said softly. "He will be very glad to see you."

"I am not so sure about that," Akiya replied darkly.

The hawk tilted his head and examined her, contemplating. "You don't believe in him as much as you used to."

"He is not the person I knew anymore."

"I know," Jiyuu replied. "But he needs you to believe in him so that he can believe in himself. If you give up on him now, he will give up on himself as well - he is already very close to doing that. Deep in his heart, however, Sasuke is still not evil. He is doing what he thinks is the only thing he can do. It will be your task to show him there is another way."

Akiya closed her eyes. "I really hope it is not too late for that," she murmured. "However, I cannot rely on the hope that me being alive and talking to him will make him see reason. I have to make sure I don't go in there empty handed – I need to have something that will make him agree to help me to kill Madara by all means. Something he cannot decline."

And Akiya had a feeling she understood Hisa's words now: _There will come the time when you will _have_ to save a life._

Yes, she thought she knew whose life Hisa had meant.

Jiyuu threw her a sharp look. "You are going to offer him a bargain?"

"Yes," Akiya said. "That is exactly what I will do."

* * *

The den reminded her unpleasantly of Orochimaru's hideout – the corridors were narrow and dark, only faintly lit up by the candles that hung on the walls every few meters. Akiya moved cautiously to not trip over the loose stones which covered the ground, trying to suppress the already upcoming claustrophobia (again! Did this never end?) and inwardly cursing her stupidity to not change her clothes when being in Konoha, but there simply had not been the time. Now, the long, once white (and now extremely dirty) dress constrained her steps, and she would have given everything for a decent pair of trousers. Even wearing Kakashi's oversized ones would have been better than _that._ She just couldn't move properly with this stupid piece of clothing. If she were to run into a member of the Akatsuki right now, she would be totally screwed and –

Akiya stalled abruptly when she noticed a faint trace of a chakra signature not too far away. Narrowing her eyes, she concentrated on locating it and sneaked forward to where she suspected the source of chakra. It grew stronger, more perceivable as she moved nearer, and Akiya realized that, although it felt familiar, the chakra signature was different from when she had sensed it the last time: darker, colder.

She had found him.

Akiya didn't knock but instead slipped silently into the room to the left. Looking around, she saw that it wasn't much lighter than the corridors, and her eyes still had troubles adjusting to the darkness. Yet she could spot the figure lying on a thing mattress on the stone floor, chest raising and falling a little with the even breathing.

He was asleep.

Slowly, she walked over to his side and lowered herself to the ground, never taking her eyes off his face. Normally, Sasuke would have woken instantly when someone entered his room, but this time, he didn't even stir. It should have surprised her, but Akiya found it was only logical that he would have been exhausted after fighting so much, so many powerful people, and after an eye-transplantation. He certainly _looked_ exhausted. He was paler than she'd ever seen him, and even in his sleep his body was tense.

Akiya didn't know how long she sat there, staring at his face and waiting for him to wake up. Of course she should have rather woken him to tell him what she had to say and then leave immediately instead of sitting there and risking that a member of Akatsuki came back and found her, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. He needed the rest, she thought, and maybe so did she. At some point, not long after she'd entered the room, his body relaxed and his breathing became deeper, as if her presence soothed him unknowingly, but that was probably just her wishful thinking.

She longed to touch him, to brush the loose strand of hair out of his face, to run her fingers along the contours of his face, but she restrained herself. She couldn't afford to be sentimental right now. The man before her wasn't the Sasuke she had known – he was dangerous and filled with hatred in a way he hadn't been before, and she might now be able to change that anymore. She had to be on guard. Besides, this wasn't really about Sasuke and her; this was about Konoha, and how they could save it. This had to be her highest priority. Her relationship issues would have to wait. And it was better not to raise her hopes, to not expect anything. Maybe then she wouldn't be so disappointed if she couldn't save him.

Sasuke stirred slightly, causing his arm brush against her knee. Instantly, his eyes flew open, sharingan flashing into action and his arm shot up to grab the intruder and/or prevent an attack. Every normal person would have backed away, but Akiya didn't flinch – it was a reaction that had to be expected; it became natural after so many years of shinobi training. She always awoke like this, too, because she wasn't used to having a team with her who might shake her awake and not mean her any harm – when anyone came up to her and woke her up in the middle of the night, it was usually an enemy. At least he hadn't plunged a kunai into her chest out of reflex.

He stopped short in mid-movement when he saw her. Sasuke blinked, then frowned, obviously searching for the source of a genjutsu. Akiya sighed inwardly. Of course he'd think she was an illusion, but he should be good enough at genjutsu to realize she wasn't soon enough. She continued to examine him calmly and he stared back at her, his eyes black as ink and deeper than the ocean. She couldn't find any difference in the eyes, Akiya thought, nothing to give away that those weren't _his_ eyes. But she didn't have the time to dwell on that; she had already lost too much time. It couldn't be long until Madara arrived, and she preferred to not be in here when that happened. They had to go somewhere where he wouldn't find them.

"We need to talk," she announced calmly, observing his reaction – or rather, the lack thereof – before getting on her feet again. "I will wait for you outside."

* * *

Sasuke stared at her back as she left the room until she vanished from his sight, trying to process what was happening. His mind wasn't working the way it usually did, he thought. He felt as if his head was spinning.

"_Impossible"_ had been his first thought when seeing Akiya sitting there, right next to him, as if she'd never left. He'd assumed his mind was betraying him, but he couldn't find any genjutsu cast over him, and one thing was sure, with the sharingan he could detect and break _any_ genjutsu. The only one who _might_ be able to make a genjutsu he couldn't break would be Madara – he couldn't know that because he didn't know his ancestor's full abilities – but Madara didn't even know Akiya existed, so he wouldn't include her in one of his illusions.

There was only one logical solution left: Akiya was indeed alive, and she was here. This conclusion, however, raised more questions than it actually answered, the most important being: _How?_

Well, he certainly wouldn't find out if he kept sitting here. Slowly, still not quite convinced this was reality, Sasuke got up and followed her outside.

He found her standing at the shore, almost two miles away from the hideout, staring out at the sea. She water swirled around her feet as the waves crashed on the shore, but she didn't seem to mind as she stood there, unmoving like a statue and seemingly unreal.

Akiya turned around when she heard him approach. She had changed, he realized, as he stopped a few feet away from her, keeping a distance between them. Her face was carefully composed, her eyes distant. He knew the reason why when he saw the glimpse of disappointment, hurt and betrayal in her eyes. She must have heard about his attack at the meeting of the Kages, about his fight with Danzo, and also with his former team, when he had tried to kill Kakashi. Of course she didn't really trust him. Of course all the walls she had built around her had closed again, he couldn't even blame her for that, it was his own fault, wasn't it? And yet, she was here.

Then again...fuck, if she was alive, why hadn't she contacted him? It wasn't like it was much of an effort to send Keisho to him and tell him she was alright. It was only then that he noticed the edges of bandages covering her body and the small spots of blood on them, probably caused by moving too fast and too much when the wounds weren't yet fully healed, and he realized that he probably couldn't ask for that.

Sasuke felt all the mixed emotions swirl inside him, anger, hurt, relief, joy, as he thought of something to say. There was much he wanted to tell her, but on the other hand, there wasn't much he actually had to say. And what would she want to hear? That he was sorry, except that he wasn't, not really, because at least the village elders deserved to die by his hands, and that he still intended to kill them? That he felt lost, although the goal was right in front of him? That he loved her, but a small part inside of him almost hated her for choosing the village over him, regardless of how illogical that was?

In the end, he settled for: "I didn't think you would come." Somehow, it was a mix between 'I didn't think you were still alive' and 'I didn't think that you would come here after hearing what I have done', and her answer was just that as well.

"Neither did I," Akiya said matter-of-factly, but Sasuke knew her well enough to be sure that she wasn't as unfazed as she pretended to be.

He wondered why she had come, seeing how she clearly tried to keep her distance. Trust wasn't something that could be easily rebuilt when once destroyed, and he wasn't sure whether she would give him another chance to be close to her or whether she would tell him to go fuck himself and never see her again.

But she was here. So, maybe...

"I am here to make you a bargain," Akiya said finally.

Sasuke's eyes snapped to hers again. "Konoha sent you," he said, unable to hide the anger in his voice. So that was why she had come. She had come because they had told her to, not because she wanted to see him.

It hurt to think that.

Akiya shook her head. "No. I am here on my own accord," she contradicted coolly. "I want to propose a bargain."

"A bargain?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. The life of the elders against the rest of Konoha."

Sasuke blinked.

"I am sure you are well aware that it will be extremely difficult to get through to the elders – they are always surrounded by a lot of people to ensure their security lately. I, however, can help you get access to their residence, where you can fight them, and I can guarantee you will get out of Konoha again unseen, if that is what you wish," Akiya continued. "For that, I want you to leave the rest of Konoha's people unharmed."

Sasuke blinked again. It was easy to understand what she was doing. She was sacrificing a part or herself for Konoha – her innocence, as far as it still reached. Akiya had always been extremely loyal to the village, had never harmed anyone living there, but now she was willing to betray at least two of them for the sake of the others, and would probably also have to face the consequences for that. Even if she didn't kill them personally, their blood would be on her hands.

It reminded him of Itachi, of what he had done to save the civilians, and he wasn't sure whether he liked that.

He didn't want to see her do this, to see her throw away her principles. And yet, he knew it was a good offer. As he looked inside his soul, he realized that the anger he had held against all of Konoha had, although not vanished entirely, at least diminished. Deep inside, he had always known he couldn't hold the civilians responsible for everything that had happened – they'd had no knowledge of what Itachi had done, and they'd had nothing to do with the elders sending Akiya on a suicide mission. He could live with solely killing the elders, the ones really responsible for all the pain he had suffered. It would suffice.

However, Sasuke had to know something else. He had to know whether she was only doing this for Konoha, or because she didn't want to see him lose himself. "What if I refuse to accept?" he asked. "Will you fight me and try to kill me?"

Akiya swallowed. "No," she whispered finally. "You know I wouldn't. I _couldn't._ However, do not expect me to simply stand aside and watch you trying to destroy everything I have been fighting for, everything I love."

She looked at him, and Sasuke felt relief wash over him like a wave. It was easy for him to read in her eyes the answer he had been looking for, to see that she wasn't only talking about Konoha.

Sasuke tilted his head. "If I want to truly have my revenge, it will not suffice to just kill the elders," he remarked quietly. There was one more person he would have to fight.

Akiya tensed visibly. "I see," she said coldly, trying to keep her voice from trembling. Obviously she had misunderstood his words, thinking he had declined. "In that case, I have more to offer to make you leave the Konoha civilians unharmed."

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. It was official; she _had _misunderstood him completely. But the curiosity got the better of him – he wanted to know what else she had to say.

He hadn't expected her words to shake his world completely.

"I can offer you Itachi."


	31. Regrets and little wonders

*** Chapter 30 ***

_And the ground caved in, between where we were standing  
__And__ your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve_

_So give me reason, to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean  
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes  
Give me reason, to fill this hole, connect the space between  
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies  
Across this new divide_

_- Linkin Park: New Divide – _

_**.**_

_So let mercy come and wash away_

_what I've done, I'll face myself  
To cross out, what I've become  
Erase myself and let go of  
What I've done_

_- Linkin Park: What I've done – _

* * *

Sasuke just stared at her from those pitch-black eyes, not saying a word. His face, as always, didn't betray any emotion except for a strange flicker in his eyes, a mix between incredulity and something else Akiya couldn't quite determine because it was gone before she could really see it. She noticed his slightly accelerated breathing, however, proof that he had indeed heard her and probably understood where this was going. His reaction made her worry he had gone into shock, though, and she figured she should better go on before he had a heart attack or something.

"I know you want your brother to be alive more than anything," Akiya said quietly. "And I can warrant that."

"How?"

His interruption didn't surprise her. "There is a technique that enables you to revive people by transferring your chakra into their dead body. Elder Chiyo used it when reincarnating Gaara. It is forbidden, but I could perform it."

She was sure of that. It was exactly what Hisa had been doing when transferring her chakra into Akiya's amulet, and all she would have to do was to release said chakra again. "In exchange, however, I must ask something of you," Akiya continued. "I will have to fight Madara, but we all know I cannot defeat him alone. I will need your assistance."

Akiya looked at him, trying to find out what he was thinking, but it proved to be as impossible as tearing down a brick wall with nothing more than a blade of grass. "You know this is a good trade – one you can only benefit from," Akiya pressed on. "I get the village's safety. You get both your revenge and your brother."

His answer was short and as sharp as a kunai, for the first time showing that he was not as calm as he pretended to be. Also, it was not the answer she had been so sure to hear. "No," he said curtly, his voice not leaving any room for arguments.

Akiya felt the world shattering around her and closed her eyes, unable to keep her body from trembling. She had been so sure, so goddamn sure that he wouldn't refuse, that, even if he didn't do it for her, even if he was that lost, he would do it just to get Itachi back. She hadn't thought he was gone so far, that he would be so consumed by his hate that not even this offer could make him take back his plans to destroy Konoha. What was she supposed to do now?

The pain that shot through her body was surprisingly sharp, more painful than she would have imagined, worse than any physical wound that had ever been inflicted on her. She could see now why people died of broken hearts and crushed hopes.

"I see," she whispered, trying to keep her composure. She would _not_ break down in front of him. She wouldn't. She wasn't as weak as that. "In that case, there is nothing left to say."

She turned around to leave then, but she hadn't yet taken a single step when all of a sudden she felt him right behind her, his warm breath tickling the skin of her neck. He grabbed her arm so hard it hurt, making her stop dead at the contact.

"Akiya," he said darkly, his voice strained. "I am not stupid. I know how that technique you spoke of works. You trade one life for another. And as much as I want Itachi back, I will not stand there and watch you give up your life for that. I will not lose you again."

Akiya gasped.

_Oh._

So this was the reason he had declined the offer. Not because he couldn't give up his hate, but because he thought she would die if she tried to revive Itachi. So much for her impeccable knowledge of human nature. When had she become like that, she wondered, so distrusting towards Sasuke? When had she stopped to believe in him, and in her ability to read him? It had all been there, she had just been stupid to understand, because she had listened to others rather than herself. All the talk about Sasuke being evil and a lost cause had somehow influenced her, and she hated herself for it. She should have known him better than that.

Slowly, Akiya turned around, her eyes locking with his. With a sigh, she leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder while his arms slipped around her waist to pull her closer.

"Idiot," he murmured against her hair.

"Asshole," Akiya retorted, smiling as she remembered them having exactly this extremely eloquent conversation not so long ago after kissing for the first time. It had only been two month, but it felt as if years had passed since that day in Orochimaru's hideout.

"I am going to do it anyway, you know?" she told him quietly. "Reviving Itachi, I mean. I have the feeling I must."

Before he could protest, Akiya sent him the mental pictures of Hisa, focusing especially on her last memory of the extraordinary woman, the prophecy and her death. "You don't have to worry about me. The life has already been paid. And if her chakra alone shouldn't suffice, I won't be using my entire chakra to try and make this work," she reassured him.

Sasuke inhaled deeply, and Akiya knew he was fighting against himself here. On the one hand, he wanted his brother to be alive – on the other hand, he didn't want to endanger Akiya.

"It's worth a try," Akiya remarked. "And you will be there to keep me from being reckless."

Sasuke blinked. "You want to do it _now?_"

"Of course." Akiya frowned. "The sooner the better. Although I trust Madara to have taken good care of Itachi's dead body – after all, he was still able to transplant his eyes - , he _has_ been dead for a month now, and I don't know whether this will complicate the reincarnation. Furthermore, I need you to show me where his corpse is anyway. Given that you know its location, of course."

"I do," Sasuke replied shortly. "Itachi's body being here is the only reason why we chose this cave as a hideout."

Akiya nodded. "Show me. And let's hope Madara doesn't find us."

* * *

To say Akiya was surprised when she saw Itachi's body would have been an understatement. His skin was pale, yes, but hadn't it been for the lack of breathing and pulse, he might as well have been sleeping. He certainly didn't look as if he'd been dead for four weeks, and Akiya could only assume that Madara was using a special kinjutsu to keep Itachi's corpse from decaying. As to why, she had no idea, but at the moment they would profit from it, she guessed.

Sasuke couldn't explain how this jutsu worked, either, and neither did he know the reason for Madara's actions. "First I thought he was only doing this to make sure he could transplant Itachi's eyes, in case I ever requested it," he said quietly. "He hasn't stopped the jutsu after the transplantation, though, so I assume he has some plans with him still."

"His eyes..."Akiya began, unsure.

Sasuke understood what she was getting at at once. "I made Madara implant my eyes in his body," he said. "It felt like...giving something back."

Akiya nodded. This was comprehensible, both on Sasuke's and on Madara's part, because if the latter really had some plans with Itachi, whereof she was convinced, it would most likely play into his hands. "We will have to get him out of here as soon as possible after the resurrection," she stated. "I have no idea how this jutsu affects former injuries or maladies, but I highly doubt that by transferring Hisa's chakra into his body his lungs will be healed. He will most likely need medical treatment urgently, and although I know the basics of medical ninjutsu, I am not even remotely experienced enough to treat something like this, especially seeing that I don't know whether the coughing up blood thing was caused by a disease or by some strange poison."

"How do you plan to get him medical treatment?" Sasuke asked sceptically. "You cannot simply walk into the hospital of Konoha and demand they heal an S-ranked criminal."

"I will not bring him to Konoha," Akiya retorted. "I have asked Jiyuu to take me and Itachi to the Village of the End, and I sent Keisho to Tsunade-sama, asking her to wait for me there because I needed her help in a vital matter."

Sasuke didn't seem very happy with this arrangement. "Do you think you can trust her?"

Akiya sighed. "I don't know – I hope so. But I don't really have a choice. She is the best medic-nin in the world and I will need her help. Sakura might have worked as well – she is almost as good as Tsunade-sama – but...well. It's not that I don't trust her, although we don't exactly get along well, it's rather that she doesn't trust me, and even if she doesn't refuse to heal him I suppose she would tell Tsunade anyway...and the less people know about this the better it is."

"Hn."

"We will also need to make sure Madara doesn't find out. If he finds that Itachi's body is gone, you will be in trouble."

Sasuke shrugged, indifferent. "I will make sure of that. There is nothing you have to worry about."

Akiya inhaled deeply. "Fine, then," she sighed. "Let's get this over with."

With that, she placed her hands on Itachi's chest and began to slowly channel Hisa's chakra into his body.

It almost took fifteen minutes until she felt the flow of chakra ebb away, becoming weaker and weaker, and although she was surprised it had lasted that long, that Hisa had given her that much chakra, Akiya still wasn't sure whether it would suffice. What should she do if it didn't? Try to add more of her own chakra, hoping it would have the desired effect? As she felt the last drop of Hisa's chakra run through her fingers and then die out, she exchanged a worried glance with Sasuke. What if it wasn't enough?

Akiya was just beginning to fear she had failed when she felt a light pressure under her fingers, nothing more but a soft _thud, thud, thud,_ but inevitably there. His heart was beating.

"Kami," she murmured.

And then Itachi inhaled the cold air with one deep breath and his eyes fluttered open. A look of confusion flickered over his face, only to be immediately replaced by wariness and distrust. His sharingan flared into action and Akiya had no doubt he would have attacked her had it not been for Sasuke placing a hand on his brother's shoulder to prevent him from moving, drawing Itachi's attention to him for the first time. Itachi blinked, which, in terms of his facial expressions, probably meant that he was downright shocked. "Sasuke?" he whispered, his voice hoarse.

For the first time in ages, Sasuke smiled. "Welcome back to the living, Nii-san."

* * *

Tsunade already awaited Akiya near the Valley of the End, by the ruins she and Sasuke had once spent the night in, waiting impatiently for her to jump off Jiyuu's back. "So, what is so urgent that you wanted me to –"

Tsunade stopped short as she noticed the dark figure still lying on Jiyuu's back, still clad in his Akatsuki cloak. Itachi had been silent for the most part of their journey, quietly listening as she told him everything he needed to know, from her very first day in Konoha to how she had met Sasuke, about her mission in Iwa and Hisa, and Sasuke's plans to destroy Konoha and of course about how they how they now planned to take down Madara. He had lost consciousness shortly before they arrived at the Valley of the End, coughing up blood at times and his breath rattling in his throat, making Akiya worry about whether Tsunade would be able to heal him.

They had left Sasuke behind at the hideout, promising each other to always keep the other informed about the latest developments, because they had agreed that him leaving Madara now wouldn't help them at all. As much as Akiya hated to admit it, they needed Sasuke there to know what Madara was planning and when he was intending to attack Konoha again, so that the village could prepare for this day. She would need some rest as well, Akiya knew, some time for her wounds to fully heal, because she couldn't face Madara if she wasn't at her best. It was the only logical thing to do, but Akiya couldn't deny she hated the mere thought of Sasuke staying near this madman, and she didn't even want to think about what would happen if Madara ever found out Sasuke had betrayed him.

"Please tell me this is not what it looks like," Tsunade said sharply.

"Please, Tsunade-sama, I need your help. If you don't treat him, he is going to die!"

"I thought Uchiha Itachi was already dead," the Hokage commented dryly.

"He was," Akiya answered. "But at the moment he is alive – he won't be for long, however, if you just stand around and do nothing. Tsunade-sama, I beg you, you must trust me on this. I will explain everything later, but don't let him die."

Tsunade hesitated, clearly deliberating whether she should trust her words or not. Finally, she sighed. "Fine. Help me bring him in and I will see what I can do."

Akiya sighed, relieved. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

The Godaime snorted. "I hope you know what you are in for if you cannot give me a good explanation for this."

* * *

Akiya impatiently paced up and down the room she was waiting in while Tsunade tried to heal Itachi's lungs, desperately trying to find something to keep herself occupied with in order to not worry about Sasuke all the time. Sadly, the only device she had found in those ruins had been an old teapot and a couple of half-broken mugs, but making tea wasn't exactly on her top priority list to keep her mind occupied.

Finally, just when Akiya thought she was going crazy, Tsunade emerged from the room with a serious look on her face. "He's not out of the woods yet," she answered Akiya's question concerning his health. "There was not much left of his lungs that wasn't a bloody mush, but I managed to restore most of the cells and extract the blood that was making it difficult for him to breathe. This is no normal sickness, however, but instead caused by a strange poison I have never seen before. It is very aggressive, too – it is attacking his lungs again as we are speaking. I took a sample and will try to mix an antidote as soon as possible, but I cannot promise anything. For the time being, this" – she held up a small vial filled with a green liquid – "helps to slow the progress of the poison down. You will have to give him an injection twice a day, or more often should you notice his condition is changing for the worse, but never more often than four times a day, understood?"

"Hai."

"Good. We cannot move him at the moment, this would put too much strain on his body, so you will have to stay here and look after him for the next few days," Tsunade continued, pressing the vial into her hands, along with a pack of needles and syringes. Noticing Akiya's slightly puzzled look, she smiled half-heartedly. "He is asleep now, but he woke up during the treatment and gave me a good outline of what has happened – enough for me to believe I can trust you, at least. I just hope you know what you are doing."

"I do, Tsunade-sama."

The Hokage sighed. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time Sasuke squashed the hope we set in him. However, it is calming to know that there is someone fighting on our side who would risk almost everything to ensure peace and can also bring his brother to reason," she said with a pointed look back to the room Itachi was lying in. "You took a great risk there, offering him Itachi's life for Madara's."

"Maybe," Akiya shrugged. "But it was worth it."

"It worked," Tsunade acknowledged. "I just hope you didn't offer him anything else to ensure his assistance in killing Uchiha Madara."

With that, she left, not giving Akiya an opportunity to answer. She was glad about this; this way, she at least didn't have to tell a lie. Even so, Tsunade's words left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth, because she had indeed offered more.

She wondered when Sasuke was going to use the information she had given him concerning the elders, and whether Tsunade would already find them dead when she returned to Konoha.

It wasn't exactly the happiest thought she had ever had.


	32. Conversations over teapots

*** Chapter 31 ***

_I hold your hand as long as I can  
And start the last lap  
We both knew it and still repressed it till the end  
That time cannot be defeated  
Perhaps it would've been better it never happened that way  
But 'perhaps' is such a craven word  
We always fought and never wasted a single grain of sand  
And now we're standing here_

_Time is running against us, the last grain falls silently  
And the lap is slowly over  
We built on sand which took us a lot of strength  
But everything was worth it  
And I thank you for every day beside you _

_And I regret nothing  
Not a single step, not a single moment of it  
Even if it's lost  
Even if it's not enough for us  
It still wasn't for nothing  
I don't regret a single wrong word, not a single moment  
I'm not taking back any step  
Because I regret nothing  
Nothing of it_

_- Silbermond: Ich bereue nichts (Translation) - _

* * *

It had been a very quiet and uneventful night, and yet Akiya hadn't slept at all. Instead, she had paced up and down the room restlessly the entire night, anxiously listening for any sound coming from inside Itachi's room to assure her he was still breathing, or coming from the outside that might indicate they were being attacked because Madara had somehow found out about what had happened and had decided to put an end to it.

It was stupid and futile and absolutely paranoid, but Akiya couldn't help it. She had never been so tense before when being on a mission, but this was different. Although you could never quite predict the outcome of a mission, you usually at least knew what and who you were dealing with and what was going on. Now, she felt as if she knew nothing. She neither knew what was going on in Konoha nor what happened with Sasuke, and it unsettled her. At the same time, she chided herself for behaving rather like a little girl than a full-grown, experienced and strong kunoichi. Just when had she become so...so dependent on others? Akiya sighed. Life had been so much easier when she didn't have so much to lose.

When the first sunrays penetrated the fog which was lying over the landscape like a thick blanket and lit up the sky, Akiya decided that since she had nothing better she might as well put the stupid teapot she had found yesterday to good use. Groaning quietly, she stood up and went outside to collect a few branches of dry wood and fill the pot with water from the river. She didn't carry a lot of supplies, but it would suffice to make a small breakfast. Her stomach rumbled at the mere thought of food – thinking back, Akiya found that she couldn't even remember whether she had eaten anything yesterday. This combined with the sleeplessness probably explained why she felt so battered.

When she had collected enough wood, she went straight back to the ruins to start a fire, cooking some rice and boiling water for the tea. Akiya tried to make as little sound as possible in order to not wake Itachi up, but her efforts were in vain. She could hear him shift, the rustle of the sheets when he got up and then the quiet steps as he moved to the door which opened with a shrill creak that almost made Akiya shudder.

"Good morning," Akiya greeted him as he proceeded into the room, pale and tired-looking but his breath not rattling quite as much as yesterday. Tsunade seemed to have done her job well. "Tea?" she asked, offering him one of the mugs which he accepted muttering a low "Thank you" before sitting down close to the fire. Grabbing her own mug, Akiya moved to sit next to him and for a while, they just sat there in silence, staring into the fire.

"How are you feeling?" she finally asked.

"...Hn" he grunted, and Akiya fought the urge to chuckle; he reminded her so much of Sasuke it was ridiculous. "I have been worse."

"And I am sure you have been better, too," Akiya commented dryly. "Tsunade-sama gave me a few injections and an antidote I will have to administer to you twice a day," she continued, changing the topic. "I should probably start now – I don't want to take any chances of your condition changing for the worse."

Itachi regarded her calmly, contemplating. "Why are you doing this?" he asked after a moment of silence. "Why are you helping someone like me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" she counter questioned.

Itachi merely raised an eyebrow to indicate this was a stupid question considering that it was well known throughout the world that he was a dangerous criminal and no normal person would want to come into contact with him, let alone risk their lives to save him.

Akiya smiled. "I don't know," she answered finally. "It felt like the right thing to do. After all, I owe you."

Itachi blinked. "You do not owe me anything. We have never met before."

"Oh, but I do. You cannot even begin to grasp how much," Akiya said, shaking her head. "Without you, I would never have met the person most important to me. You gave me Sasuke. Had you not given up everything to save his life, I would never have met him...and I don't know who I'd be today. And I will never be fully able to repay that debt."

"I daresay the debt is more than settled."

"How so? Because you gave me my life and I gave you yours?" Akiya shook her head again. "That's not how it is. I was not really the one resurrecting you – I merely performed the jutsu. It's not because of me that you are alive, but because of Hisa-san."

"Perhaps it was Hisa-san who started all this, but you were the one deciding whom to resurrect, and when you did so, putting your life at risk," Itachi replied. "Which was, as I might add, extremely foolish, if not insane."

Akiya chuckled. "You know, you were supposed to say something like _'Thank you for saving my sorry ass'_, not slam me."

Itachi blinked again, as if unsure how to react to this. A second later, though, his facial expression softened visibly. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"You're welcome."

"The fact that your actions were slightly insane remains, though," he noted.

"Well, I feel that when dealing with an Uchiha it can be beneficial to be slightly insane, because otherwise you would just go nuts anyway when having to put up with them over a long period of time," Akiya chuckled. "Especially now that I will have to endure two of you. Only Kami knows what this will do to my poor nerves."

Itachi sighed. "I was being serious, Akiya-san. You should not have risked your life for someone like me. You could have died."

"I know," Akiya replied and turned to face him. "It was a risk I was willing to take. And I would do it again, because you are a good man, Itachi, and you deserve to live more than many people I know. Itachi, you must stop thinking of yourself as, I quote, '_someone like me'_. Cease the self-loathing. Yes, you have hurt and killed a lot of persons in your life, but you have also saved even more by preventing a war. We all have a past we aren't exceptionally proud of – that is part of the shinobi life. You take lives and you save lives, this is how it is. And it is about time you forgave yourself for what you did, because everyone else already has done so. Most importantly, Sasuke has done so."

"He could never forgive me that," Itachi contradicted, shaking his head.

Akiya smiled. "You have no idea how much he loves you, do you?"

This time, Itachi didn't reply. He just kept staring at his tea, as if the dark liquid could actually tell him the truth. Sighing, Akiya got up to retrieve one of the syringes Tsunade had given her and drew it up, filling it with the dark green liquid. "Okay," she announced, turning back to Itachi, "time for your medicine."

Wordlessly, Itachi rolled up his sleeve and waited for her to finish her work. "What will you do once Madara is defeated?"

Akiya frowned. That was a good question. One she hadn't even dared to think about until now. "I don't know," she shrugged. "It all depends on the outcome of the fight, I guess, and on Konoha's reaction. Somehow I doubt they will let Sasuke come back – after all, he is an S-rank criminal who is searched in all of the great nations, if not throughout the world. I don't even know whether he actually wants to go back, either, so...I suppose if we don't return to Konoha, we'll be on the run."

"Doesn't the thought of leaving all behind bother you?"

"Yes, of course it does. I know I will miss Kakashi and Genma...and probably even Shikamaru and Temari. Kakashi most of all. But if I had to do it, I could. I could leave them behind."

Akiya inhaled deeply as she realized momentousness of her words. When forced to, she would give up everything for Sasuke. It was a scary thought, somehow. Then again, not too long ago, she would have done the same for Kakashi. Only that back then giving up everything hadn't meant so much to her, because she hadn't had so much to lose.

Itachi nodded understandingly. It made Akiya think that they weren't so different at all. She wasn't sure whether she would've been able to make the same choice he had made so many years ago, to sacrifice everyone he loved for the sake of peace, and to be honest, she didn't even want to think about it. It was an impossible choice, and somehow she thought the persons forcing a thirteen-year-old to decide something not even grown-ups would be able to decide were even crueller and worse than said child that had been forced to choose between his family and peace.

"Do you already have a plan in mind for our fight against Madara?" Itachi asked.

Akiya raised an eyebrow. "_Our _fight?"

"I hope you did not expect me to stay passive and deedless in this matter."

"You aren't in any condition to fight."

"You are injured as well," Itachi commented matter-of-factly.

"Yes, but my wound are almost fully healed. And I have fought with worse," Akiya retorted.

"So have I."

Akiya sighed, sensing that he wouldn't give in; he appeared to be just as stubborn as Sasuke – the only difference between them was that he, unlike Sasuke, stayed polite when arguing back.

"Fine," she gave in. "I suppose it will improve our chances, especially considering that you probably know his fighting style and abilities better than Sasuke and I do. However, I should warn you: should you die just because of your stubbornness, Sasuke and I will revive you again just to personally rip your head off. And then I will probably have to resurrect you _again,_ because Sasuke will regret it later."

Maybe she was mistaken, but she thought she saw Itachi's lip twitch lightly, turning into something that sort of resembled a tiny, weak smile. He didn't reply, though, but instead continued where he had left off before starting their argument. "When fighting against Madara, it will be indispensable for you to be able some genjutsu."

Akiya almost groaned.

"I believe you could still improve your genjutsu skills," Itachi continued, unfazed.

"Probably," Akiya sighed, because she knew he was right. She needed genjutsu training. Badly. "I am able to dispel most genjutsu, but when it comes to casting genjutsu myself, my skills are very limited."

"Then we have something to work on while we are waiting for Sasuke's message."

* * *

By the end of their training session, which, despite neither of them being at their best ability, lasted over three hours, Akiya was pleasantly surprised by how much she had learned. She would never be good with genjutsu, she thought, but still, she had been able to pick up a few useful techniques on how to dispel genjutsus without wasting too much chakra as well as some not so complicated yet effective jutsus she was actually able to perform.

Had it all been different, she mused, Itachi would have made a splendid sensei – his patience, his vast knowledge and calmness as well as his ability to explain even complicated techniques using simple words and demonstrations made him a perfect teacher. He was also very strict, though, and kept pushing her to do her best, even when reaching her limits. Akiya thought she hadn't learnt that much and that fast in ages, and she really couldn't say she'd had bad teachers. Kakashi and Genma were some of Konoha's strongest shinobi, and she had already been surprised when she had seen Sasuke exceed their abilities seemingly with ease, but Itachi definitely by far surpassed Sasuke as well.

It made Akiya wonder just how strong Uchiha Madara was. She was sure that, had Itachi been able to defeat him, he would have done so long ago. However, if not even Itachi could beat him...Akiya felt the fear creep through her veins, not so much for herself but for the ones she loved. What if they weren't able to stop him? What if he would destroy Konoha and all their efforts were futile, regardless of what the prophecy had said?

Then again...fuck the prophecy, she thought. Prophecies could be wrong, and it seemed that this was indeed the case, because Hisa had never mentioned her reviving Itachi...or anyone. At least it hadn't been in said prophecy – it surely would've been foreseen as well if there was something like "fate", right? But no, it had all been Hisa's doing, nothing else. And to be quite honest, Akiya preferred it this way. Sure, it would have been nice to go into battle knowing for sure that they would win, but all in all she'd rather choose her own fate. And, if it had to be, her own battle – her own death, even, if it came down to it.

They stayed within those ruins for four terribly long days, spending their days with sparring and training and nervously waiting for a word, no, _anything_ from Sasuke. Neither of them acted on it, but Akiya knew Itachi was just as anxious about his brother's well-being as she was.

On the fourth day, Keisho finally came and dropped a tiny piece of paper into Akiya's hand. Written on it was only one word:

_Tomorrow._


	33. Final clash

*** Chapter 32 ***

_Did you ever believe? Were you ever a dreamer?  
Ever imagine heart open and free?  
Did you ever deny? Were you ever a traitor?  
Ever in love with your blood, lust and need?_

_Ever want to be free? Do you even remember?  
Want to be god and devil like me?  
Ever want to just stop? Do you want to surrender?  
Or fight for victory?_

_Darkness falls, here comes the rain to wash away the past and our names  
Darkness falls, here comes the rain to end it all, the blood and the game  
Far, far away in a land that time can't change  
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and ghosts_

_This is a call to arms, gather soldiers,  
Time to go to war  
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters  
Time to go to war_

_- 30 seconds to Mars: Vox populi – _

* * *

Akiya frowned and chewed on her lower lip as she slipped on her iron guard gloves and shoved a bunch of kunai and senbon into her pouch. She couldn't deny that she was nervous. Afraid. Restless.

Sighing, she checked her armour yet _again_ and, when she deemed it sufficient, turned around to find Itachi, who was, despite her protests, still determined to fight with them and therefore preparing for the oncoming battle as well. The sky was lightening up slowly, but the sun had not yet risen. Akiya and Itachi had decided it would be best to reach the village before the day really began, because they didn't know at what time Madara planned to attack. He might try to use the cover of the dark to his advantage, but then again, he was powerful enough to not have to resort to this. They would hide outside the village and wait for him, Sasuke and Zetsu to arrive, while Keisho and Jiyuu would watch out for them from above to warn them as soon as they approached the village without using Madara's space-time jutsu. Akiya certainly hoped they would come the regular way, because it might give them an advantage if they didn't just appear in front of them out of thin air.

Akiya had sent a message to Konoha, telling Tsunade that they expected the attack to be this day, so she suspected everyone in the village was busy preparing for the battle as well. She found her thoughts wandering to Kakashi and Genma, trying to imagine what they were doing now. She wondered how much Tsunade had told them, and the rest of the shinobi. Did they know what to expect? What were they planning to defend the village?

She really hoped someone had been smart enough to evacuate Konoha exclusive of the shinobi. There really shouldn't be any civilians left. If they were to fail...Akiya shook her head. She didn't even want to think about it. She shouldn't even consider this. They must not fail.

They mustn't.

Akiya almost laughed bitterly. If it only were as easy as that.

Itachi looked up when she entered the room.

"Ready?" she asked.

He nodded, unsmiling.

"Let's go, then."

* * *

"Wait for me here," Akiya murmured and shoved Itachi towards the bushes they had decided would be the best to hide in and await the attack. "I will need to see Tsunade-sama before this fight begins, I suppose."

Itachi nodded. "Be quick, though. I will contact you if something happens."

"Stay out of sight," Akiya reminded him sternly. "Only a handful of people in this village know the truth about the Uchiha massacre so they would probably get a heart attack when seeing you – or they would attack you, and you having to fight against them is the last thing we need."

Itachi flinched slightly as she uttered the word 'massacre' and Akiya immediately felt sorry for reminding him of this dreadful event. She really shouldn't. Then again, it had happened, and it was important, and there were no other words for it. Saying 'that incident' or something similar wouldn't make anything better. However, she laid a hand on his shoulder, a brief moment of comfort before she sprinted towards the main gate.

It didn't take her long to find the Hokage, who was shouting commands at everyone who passed by, trying to organize the defence as good as possible. Tsunade narrowed her eyes when she became aware of Akiya standing in the shadow of a tree and made her way towards her. "You could have warned us earlier," she almost hissed.

"I warned you as soon as I learned when Madara was going to attack," Akiya replied calmly. "I apologize that I couldn't inform you earlier. If everything goes the way it should, though, the village should not be in danger."

"You have a plan to take him down then?" Tsunade asked sceptically.

Akiya felt a pang of guilt. Actually they didn't have one. Or well, _she_ didn't exactly have one – but she was sure that one of the Uchiha geniuses would be able to come up with a better and more efficient plan than hers could ever have been. Until now, they had only agreed to take on Madara together, all three of them, with Akiya coordinating her attacks by using her kekkei genkai to communicate with both of them. It would take her a lot of concentration and cost her a lot of strength, she thought, to make sure all three of them always knew what the other two were thinking and planning at every millisecond of their fight, but she knew they would need to do this. If they didn't coordinate perfectly, flawlessly, they probably couldn't beat him.

"We will try to confront him before he comes too close to the village," Akiya said. "This way he won't be able to harm anyone, I hope."

Tsunade's lips were pressed to a thin line. "Akiya, I will only be asking you this question once, so I want you to really think your answer through and be completely honest with me: where does your loyalty lie?"

Akiya blinked. "Pardon me?"

"I believe you've heard and understood me quite well."

"Indeed I have heard you – I just don't see why you would ask me such a question," Akiya explained.

"Both elder Homura and elder Koharu were found dead this morning."

Akiya swallowed.

_Oh._

Sasuke had wasted no time to use her information, then.

"I am no fool, Akiya, but even for a fool it was unmistakingly clear who killed them. Sasuke left a piece of paper with the Uchiha crest on it. And we all know even he couldn't have entered and left Konoha – much less their apartments, which were heavily secured and guarded – without anyone noticing if he didn't have valid and classified information." Tsunade's voice was as icy as the look she regarded her with.

Akiya sighed. "Can you blame me?" she asked quietly. "Itachi once sacrificed his entire family to save Konoha and you question my decision to sacrifice two persons for the sake of everyone else here?" Akiya met Tsunade's eyes firmly. "I am not proud of it. But I know you realize it's the lesser of two evils. Besides – we all know he would have found a way to kill them one day anyway, and I very much prefer he did not need to harm anyone who got in his way."

Tsunade frowned. "I understand why Naruto would risk so much for him. And I am sure I know why _you_ would go so far for him, too. But is it worth it, Akiya? Is _he_ worth it?"

Akiya smiled weakly, and there was not the slightest hesitation in her answer. "Yes."

He'd always been worth it. Somehow. Just like Konoha had been worth it. Because she was who she was, and he was undoubtedly a part of her, just like Konoha was, and maybe even more important.

Tsunade was just about to say something else when they heard Jiyuu whistle above them. Akiya tensed. "Get everyone in position," she told Tsunade sternly. "They are here."

* * *

"Finally."

Sasuke's eyes shifted to the figure standing beside him, his face as composed and unemotional as always. It actually surprised him to hear Madara uttering the word in such a smug, satisfied and impatient way. Then again, the bastard had planned this for years, so impatience was probably only logical.

They proceeded towards Konoha, Zetsu following behind them, half-stuck in the soil. Sasuke would never cease to wonder where Madara had managed to get a hold of his collection of weirdoes and half-monsters, but he had to admit they had mostly done their job well enough. It was good, though, that there was only Zetsu left, who wasn't really that much of a fighter. One thing less they had to worry about.

The main gate of Konoha came into view, then, still not completely rebuilt, not looking as impressive as it used to do but rather dismal and bleak, evoking misery. Sasuke found that he didn't like the sight all too much. He hadn't liked the sight he had been confronted with when sneaking into Konoha to kill the elders the night prior, either. He had thought that seeing the destruction which was still omnipresent would make him feel better, pleased, satisfied, but his feelings had been none of that kind. Entering his former hometown had actually almost made him feel nostalgic. He didn't like to admit it, but he hadn't liked to see all those places he had childhood memories of being reduced by a pile of rubble and dust. Not at all.

"Ah," Madara said quietly. "The welcome committee."

Sasuke's head snapped up, and he cursed inwardly when he saw the gates open to reveal the Konoha shinobi flooding out of the village like a dark river. Hadn't Akiya told them to stay out of this? And where were Akiya and Itachi anyway?

Looking around, he spotted something orange within the grey-blue-black mask that was most of the shinobi clothing and frowned. That was _exactly_ why he had wanted them to fight outside of Konoha. The dobe would only get in the way, he was sure of that.

Something rustled in the bushes next to him, something that was definitely neither of the two persons he was currently looking for. As the creature broke through the branches Sasuke reacted quickly – only to blink in surprise to find the blade of his katana being held against the throat of a child, looking up at him from huge, fearful eyes, the entire body trembling. _A fucking_ _child._ Probably no older than seven.

Were the people out of their fucking minds to let the kid run around here alone?

The shinobi had approached them enough that he could hear their gasps and see the shocked looks on most of their faces. Madara saw this, too, and chuckled maliciously.

"How very convenient," he remarked smoothly. "They already throw themselves at our swords voluntarily. It appears to me that you will have the honour of making the first kill today, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke inhaled deeply and kept his expression as cold as ever as he raised his katana slowly. Someone screamed. Madara was looking at him, and he could swear he could see his cruel smile even through his ridiculous mask.

His movements were so fast Madara barely had time to avoid the blade that cut through the air before it was buried deep inside the wood of the tree next to him.

Madara froze for a splint second before turning towards the source of the weapon.

"In this case," Sasuke said calmly. "I'd much rather kill you. You are the only one left on my list."

Madara tilted his head. "The only one left?" he repeated. "You promised you would assist me to destroy Konoha."

"Did I now?" Sasuke asked mockingly. "I must have been lying, then."

Madara snarled. "Do you think you will get away with this, brat? Do you really think you can fight me alone?"

"Who said he would be fighting alone?" another familiar and pleasantly unagitated voice cut in. Sasuke smirked as he turned around to find Itachi and Akiya seemingly appearing out of nowhere. He was sure Madara's expression must have been priceless when seeing Itachi.

"This is impossible. You are dead," he stated, his voice dangerously calm.

"I was," Itachi admitted almost nonchalantly. "But now I am here to complete something I should have done a long time ago."

His ancestor stared at him. "Zetsu," he commanded then. "Take care of the others."

"With pleasure."

Zetsu rose out of the soil and split up into his two halves. Unfortunately, it wasn't only one Zetsu emerging from beneath – there were hundreds, if not thousands, making their way towards the Konoha nins. Sasuke blinked. Well, if this was Zetsu's ability then he could finally understand why Madara had admitted a non-fighter like him to Akatsuki. Even if he couldn't use a lot of jutsus the sheer quantity of enemies would keep the shinobi occupied.

Madara smiled cruelly under his mask. "Now, this should be interesting. Let the games begin."

Madara charged so fast Akiya barely had the time to push the kid out of the way, into the relative safety of the bushed and tell him to run before some shuriken almost hit her in the back. She avoided them just in time, and, after a quick glance towards to Konoha shinobi who were already busy fighting a seemingly endless number of Zetsus, ran towards Itachi and Sasuke. She activated her kekkei genkai as she went, Itachi's and Sasuke's thoughts suddenly filling her head.

"_Make sure never gets a chance to cast a genjutsu at you,"_ Itachi's voice sounded through her head, and she didn't have to nod to confirm she's understood. _"If he does, and it is too strong for you to dispel it yourself, either Sasuke or I will do the job."_

"_Do we have a _plan_ at all?" _Akiya asked dryly.

"_Yes,"_ Sasuke's thought reached her mind. _"You will have to enter Madara's mind and keep us informed about his plans and actions to make sure Itachi and I have the time to 'amaterasu' his ass. Can you do this?"_

Akiya frowned. _"You are trying to keep my out of the fight."_ It wasn't a question.

"_As much as possible, yes,"_ Itachi confirmed, his hands forming seals faster than Akiya could even see.

"_Well, fuck you. I'm not standing around doing nothing."_

She could almost hear Itachi sigh. _"You aren't doing nothing, Akiya. Don't you see that you are the most important part of all this? Without you using your abilities in every way you can, Sasuke and I have no means to operate against him and actually succeed in anything we do."_

Akiya sighed and gave in. _"Oh well. I have never entered that many minds at once before, but I guess it's worth a try."_

"_How long will you be able to keep this up?"_

"_Until I pass out from chakra depletion,"_ Akiya replied grimly.

Their conversation ceased after that, because they really needed to concentrate on blocking Madara's attacks. Akiya retreated a tiny bit, staying close enough to step in if necessary but with enough distance to guarantee she did not have to worry about being hit by any of the jutsus which were rapidly exchanged. Thus she could concentrate on her part better.

Entering Madara's mind was beyond doubt the most disgusting thing she had ever done. She had read the memories of a lot of fucked-up minds before when being on her missions, but no one had been as sick and twisted as his. Akiya immediately made an effort to put her main focus on his current thoughts about the battles, pushing everything else aside. She felt like throwing up when only so much as glimpsing at some pictures of his bloody past, and she could tell both Itachi and Sasuke were quite shocked as well when the pictures reached their minds. But at least _they_ might be able to forget this one day – Akiya knew, though, that those pictures would never leave her mind. They never did.

Sometimes she cursed her kekkei genkai. And she would never stop fearing that all this madness would have its impact on her one day. But sometimes she had to admit it was useful.

Watching the two brothers made her feel a bit unnecessary, though; they listened to her advice and commands, but Akiya had the feeling they could have very well managed without her. Once, she had thought Kakashi and she were good at teamwork. Then she had fought with Sasuke and realised that their teamwork and combined attacks far exceeded the ones she did with Kakashi.

But Itachi and Sasuke took this to a whole different level.

Despite not having seen each other for ages (excluding the sparse occasions on which they had fought and the day they had resurrected Itachi) they were moving in perfect synchrony, always knowing exactly what the other was going to do before either of them had even actually thought about it. It was a sibling thing, Akiya guessed. A familiarity and a connection that they had been born with and that couldn't be shattered, regardless of what had happened. Blood was thicker than water, after all.

They were trying to keep Madara too busy dodging their attacks to be able to cast a genjutsu, reducing him to nin- and taijutsu and weapons. It was a good plan, Akiya thought, because although Itachi and Sasuke were both masters at genjutsu, Madara still surpassed them. However, they beat him in speed. And the longer their continuous attacks went on, Akiya occasionally using her wind natured chakra techniques to intensify Sasuke's Katon ones, the more Madara seemed to have trouble avoiding them.

"_He can only keep his space-time jutsu up for five minutes straight," _Akiya told them somewhat surprised when this thought flickered through Madara's mind. _"If he keeps on using it to avoid your attacks, his time limit will soon be up, and you will be able to injure him."_

"_Good,"_ was Sasuke's response. Akiya couldn't help but notice that he and Itachi were gradually growing tired, too. Glancing back towards the gates of Konoha, she spotted Kakashi standing next to what had to be a shadow clone of Naruto (because there were quite a few of them, too) beheading another Zetsu clone with relative ease. She could see some of the shinobi going down, but most of them were doing well. It seemed they were winning this fight over there, so they had better end this one soon, too.

Akiya only just turned her head around in time to see that Madara had gotten dangerously close to Sasuke who had no chance to prevent the blow this time. The only that impeded Madara's kunai from cutting Sasuke's chest was a hastily shot senbon from Akiya that bore into his hand, blocking his nerves and making him drop the kunai. Akiya felt like grinning. The senbon certainly wouldn't kill him, but not being able to use his right hand for a while (regardless that the hit had been rather luckily and not exactly planned this way) would hinder him, slow down his attacks.

And then she blinked as she realized she had _hit_ him. This was Uchiha Madara they were talking about, so there was only a quite nonexistent chance that he actually hadn't seen the senbon flying towards him. And this meant that he probably couldn't use his space-time jutsu to teleport some parts of his body into other dimensions temporarily anymore.

Sasuke had obviously come to the same conclusion; his hand flew to his katana, but before he could draw it, Madara had vanished. Not even a blink of an eye later, Akiya felt the pressure of cold metal against her throat.

_Damn._ He was using her body as a fucking shield? How had she not been able to react fast enough to avoid this?

"If either of you only so much as _thinks_ about making a move to get behind my back, she will die," Madara announced calmly.

Both Sasuke and Itachi stopped short. Akiya could see Sasuke's knuckles turning white as he clutched onto his sword even tighter than before.

"I knew you would be reasonable." One could almost hear his smug smile. "Now we can negotiate."

"There is nothing to negotiate," Akiya shot back, struggling against his hold. "There is no reason why anyone would spare your life."

"I beg to differ," Madara replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. "It is your life or mine, and I have the feeling neither of them would be inclined to hurt you. Especially not Sasuke. But, you see, as I said before, if they try to get my back, I will kill you before they can strike. Therefore, the only possibility to kill me, now that I cannot use my space-time jutsu anymore, would be to strike head on, which would inevitably cause your death as well."

"_Don't you _dare_ to hesitate,"_ Akiya hissed, using her kekkei genkai again to communicate her thoughts. _"For Kami's sake, Sasuke, do it already!"_

"_No,"_ Sasuke's thoughts sounded strained. _"I am not letting you die. And I will certainly _not_ kill you. Are you out of your fucking mind?"_

"_This shouldn't even be a question, Sasuke! What do you think you will do? Exchange my life for the rest of the world? Yeah, because that would be so effective because he won't kill us all later anyway at all,"_ Akiya fumed.

Sasuke ignored her completely. Instead, he first glanced up to the dark thunder clouds covering the sky and then turned his head towards Itachi. _"How fast can you be?"_

Itachi understood at once. _"As fast as I must."_

"_Faster than lightning?"_ Akiya snorted. She, too, had understood what Sasuke was getting at. _"I highly doubt this is possible."_

"_I wasn't Shisui's best friend for nothing,_" Itachi replied, unfazed. _"I am fully able to use the _shunshin _as fast as he did and I might add that he was as fast as the Yondaime."_

Madara's taunting interrupted their internal conversation. He chuckled. "I knew you didn't have it in you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "You have no idea what I can do," he said threateningly as he raised his arm and began to channel the lightning energy from the clouds.

From that point on, everything went so fast that Akiya couldn't actually recall what had happened. One moment, she was still within Madara's grasp, the next she was knocked away so fast she only saw a blur of colours before the sound of the explosion Sasuke's _Kirin_ created almost deafened her momentarily and the force of the jutsu knocked her and Itachi to the ground.

Akiya coughed and sat up with a groan. She couldn't really move – it seemed that the wound on her back had opened again, but that was something she didn't care much about right now. When the dust settled, she was able to see a single figure standing in the middle of the destruction the jutsu had caused. She panicked for the fraction of a second before realizing it was indeed Sasuke standing there, panting heavily – although standing wasn't quite the appropriate term for it; it was a wonder he was still on his feet because the jutsu had heavily injured him, too – and that the almost unrecognizable mass on the ground was what was still left of Madara.

She staggered to her feet as Sasuke unleashed an _Amaterasu _on Madara, just to make sure he was irrevocably dead, and stumbled towards him, into his arms and buried her face in his chest, not caring that they were both covered in blood and dirt and Kami-knew-what-else. Their moment of peace lasted approximately three point five seconds until an ear-deafening voice sounded through the air:

"SASUKE-TEME! OH WAIT TILL I KICK YOUR SORRY ASS FOR NOT COMING BACK EARLIER AND FOR NOT LETTING ME RIP MADARA'S HEAD OFF!" Naruto screamed at him while he rushed towards them.

Sasuke groaned against her skin, exasperated. "I'm going to kill him," he murmured.

Akiya giggled and took one step back before Naruto arrived. The blonde stood in front of his friend, hands on his hips, trying to give him a stern look (which was completely ruined by the large grin making its way on his face) and looked him up and down. "Well," he said in the end, "I guess I will have to make Baa-chan patch you back together before I can kick your ass."

Akiya figured it was probably a good thing Sasuke was too exhausted to resist when Naruto grabbed his arm and dragged him away.


	34. Epilogue

*** Epilogue ***

_The sky is blue  
And the rest of your life lies ahead of you  
Maybe it would be smart  
To look back once more  
You don't exactly know why  
But somehow curiosity grabs you  
The sky is blue  
And the rest of your life will be great_

_You have a good feeling  
You think of all those good times  
It's almost too much  
To stand next to you in this moment  
You have no explicit goal  
But a million possibilities  
A good feeling  
And the rest of your life will be great_

_The world is yours  
What will you do with it, tell me  
Can you feel the time flying by?  
Now you're standing here  
And you don't stop laughing  
The world is yours  
And the rest of your life begins_

_Die Ärzte: Himmelblau (cerulean) - _

* * *

_**Three years later**_

Akiya hummed blithely as she added soy sauce to the vegetables in the frying pan before throwing a glance at the clock. Seven pm. It was dawning already and the sun was colouring the sky a fiery red as if being set ablaze. However, Akiya didn't take the time to marvel at the nature's beauty, for her mind was elsewhere. Seven pm already and he _still_ wasn't back.

The door creaked open and Itachi slid into the room soundlessly. Akiya greeted him with a smile.

"Do you need help?" he inquired, walking over to her.

She didn't, but handed him a knife anyway and they worked in silence. It was nice, she mused, to have his company. It was calm and reassuring, especially when waiting for Sasuke to return from a mission. Akiya was well aware that Itachi was as worried as she was every time Sasuke had to go on a solo mission – regardless of how needless her concern usually was because they both knew he could defend himself without problems – and it was comforting to have him around.

Itachi saw her glancing at the clock again and said softly: "He should be back soon."

Akiya sighed. Sometimes she felt he had more confidence in his brother than she had. And sometimes she thought he could read her too easily.

Three years had passed since their fight against Madara, and a lot had changed after that. _Everything _had changed after that.

It had turned out that there was a massive confusion and disunity on how to deal with two S-ranked criminals who had saved Konoha (and the rest of the ninja world by preventing Madara's "Eye of the Moon"- plan). While their various wounds and Itachi's lungs had been treated, a heated discussion about what to do with them had split Konoha in two lines. Some people had acknowledged their actions, and, although still being suspicious, voiced the thought that it would be good to allow them back into the village and pardon them. Some people had argued that the Uchihas were too powerful and better locked up or executed to guarantee Konoha's safety.

When Tsunade had come to them, telling them that they might have a bigger chance to be pardoned if they agreed to having their chakra bound by seals and stay under ANBU surveillance 24/7, Sasuke had blatantly told her the members of the council could 'go fuck themselves for all he cared' and that if they didn't want him and Itachi back in the village, he didn't care at all and that they were too strong to stop them from leaving if they wanted to. Tsunade had half-smiled and ordered Akiya to make sure he didn't get away until they had come to a decision.

If it hadn't been for Naruto throwing a tantrum and announcing he would leave the village as well if they didn't pardon Sasuke and Itachi, Tsunade threatening to resign on this very day and all potential successors (namely Naruto, Kakashi and Shikamaru) taking this side as well, the council most likely would have decided to execute them both. Thanks to this, however, they had won the voting by one voice, provided that he stayed under observation for at least a year. Akiya still remembered clearly how Tsunade had walked into the hospital room again, a smug expression on her face and telling with her sweetest voice that if he didn't agree to those terms she would personally kick his sorry ass to the moon.

Akiya had been the one to be officially assigned to watch him every day and every hour of the week, and Kakashi had been set on Itachi. Of course this was basically only an excuse to make sure they could spend their time together (something Akiya was still grateful for), but she also knew Tsunade had picked her because she was the only one to talk him into staying. Sasuke always emphasized how he didn't care whether he was here or not, but she knew that deep inside he was just as happy as Itachi to be back home, despite all the sad and awful memories connected to this place. He was even happy that Naruto was still his annoying self, she knew, no matter how much he complained about him.

Funnily enough, although Naruto was around them a lot (too much for Akiya's – and probably also Sasuke's – taste) he was probably the last one to figure out the main reason why she had been assigned his 'bodyguard'. To be precise, it hadn't been until he had walked in on them making out, faces flushed, lips intertwined and his hands way up her shirt that he finally grasped it.

Needless to say, Sasuke had been extremely pissed and had made sure to express this quite clearly to his best friend by beating some manners into him. Naruto never forgot to knock again after this incident.

Since neither Sasuke nor Itachi were allowed on mission during their first year, they had started to clean the area of the Uchiha compound of the leftover rubble and built a small house, because, after all, the land still belonged to them and the villagers were happy to have them live in a section of the village that was remote and close to the city wall, not anywhere near the centre, and the brothers were glad about it, too, as it provided some peace and tranquillity. Even now, three years later, they still got some disdainful and queer looks from some villagers, which they deliberately ignored, as well as the gossip that had spread all over the town when Akiya had moved in with them.

It wasn't easy, and far from perfect, but she didn't care. It never was and never would be, and still Akiya thought she had never been so happy in her life. Kakashi and Genma came over almost every day; in fact, they spent so much time at their estate that Akiya once pointed out that they could as well move in with them, because it seemed they didn't have apartments of their own, but they all knew she was just teasing them. Naruto was also a regular visitor – sometimes he dragged Sakura and Sai along, but Akiya could tell neither was really comfortable with that; Sai, because he distrusted Sasuke and Sakura because she still couldn't accept that Sasuke and Akiya were together.

Akiya found she got along really good with Itachi as well, and she often thought that she had never met a kinder person before. He was always there, and she could rely on him completely, just like he could rely on her. On the tenth anniversary of the massacre, she had sneaked out with him during the night, and carved Shisui's name on the memorial stone. From that point on, it had been clear that they, too, could understand each other without words. And she didn't care that some people made snide remarks on how there seemed to be three persons in this relationship, if not four – she was and would always be with Sasuke, but she couldn't picture a life with just the two of them anymore, without Itachi and Kakashi being there, because they just belonged together like an extended family. They were a package deal, somehow. And that was fine.

"Are you alright, Akiya?" Itachi's voice brought her back to reality.

"Of course. I was just...lost in thoughts."

"Maybe you should go to bed early today. You look tired," Itachi remarked, concern clear in his voice. "I will do the dishes."

Akiya flashed him a smile, thinking that this wasn't such a bad idea, although she knew she would get no sleep until Sasuke was back from his mission. She never slept well when he was gone. Surprisingly enough, though, the nightmares which had haunted her for years ceased completely whenever they slept side by side – maybe it was because she felt _safe_ around him. Then again, she'd always felt safe around Kakashi as well, but that hadn't stopped her from dreaming, only from waking up screaming. "I think I might just do so," she sighed. "I have been feeling rather tired these days."

Itachi frowned. "You should go see a medic, then."

"I am not ill, Itachi. Don't worry about me," she reassured him, smiling, and got up. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

* * *

Just as predicted, Akiya couldn't find any sleep, so she just lay in the bed that seemed too big to lie in there alone, staring into the darkness and biting her lip nervously. Then, suddenly, she felt the familiar chakra signature just a second before he slid under the covers behind her, once warm sneaking around her waist and his warm breath against her neck, making her relax immediately.

He was back.

"Hey," she murmured quietly and turned around to face him. He didn't make an effort to answer but just kissed her instead, efficiently making her forget all her worries and occupying her mind with more important things. She loved this about him – those moments when he showed her exactly what he felt for her. Sasuke wasn't good at expressing his feelings with words (then again, neither was she) and he certainly didn't do so in public. The protective slash possessive way he looked at her every time someone was around made it inevitably clear whom she belonged to, though. Akiya didn't mind at all; however, with him the alone time during the nights was the most precious one, when he didn't care about keeping his composure anymore.

Later, as she lay cuddled up against him, her head resting comfortably on his left shoulder and her left arm tracing lines on his chest, Akiya thought back to waking up beside him in Konoha for the first time and how happy she had been because he was _there_ and because he would _stay_ by her side. It still overwhelmed her, the realisation that it would always be this way – that she didn't have to worry about one of them dying (not more than any shinobi at least), about never seeing each other again, about him leaving her.

She smiled and closed her eyes when he took hold of her left hand, caressing it with his fingers. And then her eyes flew open again as she felt cold metal touch her skin.

Sasuke grunted in approval. "It suits you."

Amazed, Akiya shifted so that she could see the ring he had slipped on her fingers. The jewel glistened in the feeble moonlight shining through the open window. "Sasuke..." she whispered.

He shrugged lightly. "It is about time you got a last name again, don't you think?"

"I suppose so," she said, smiling weakly, still not quite sure what to say. This was not something she had expected to happen...well, ever, so she hadn't been prepared in the slightest.

"Good," Sasuke said flatly, and proceeded to pull her down to him and kiss her. When they finally broke for air, Sasuke mumbled a faint _'I love you'_ against her skin, and Akiya could feel herself starting to grin like crazy, because in all those three years, he had never uttered those words before.

"I have a surprise for you, too," she said calmly.

Sasuke blinked, bemused. "Really?"

Akiya smiled and laid a hand on her still flat stomach that didn't yet give the secret away, and suddenly, the world was full of opportunities.

* * *

_**A/N.:** Editing this now to eradicate the typos I have found while re-reading this. If you liked this story (and even if you didn't), it would be nice if you left a review._

**_I have now joined the help_japan community on livejournal. That means I am offering fics to people who will spend money to any of the organizations listed on the community in order to help Japan after the devastating earthquake, tsunami and nuclear catastrophe threats. Please visit the following link for further information and/or bidding (remove spaces): _**

http: /community .livejournal .com / help_japan/2978. html? thread=154018#t154018


	35. Important Note

This is not an update, but an important note (yes, don't kill me for it, I know you are all annoyed when getting email notification that turn out not to be a new chapter, but this one is actually really important)

FFnet has given me some seriously annoying technical troubles in the past months (occasionally not letting me log in, not letting me update stories or not letting people access newly uploaded chapters, not letting me reply to reviews, all that along the new rule that you can't put link on your profile page anymore), which is one of the many reasons **I have decided to move to AO3** (Archive Of Our Own).

For those who don't know, this is a rather small, fan-run website for fanworks that has some seriously awesome features for writers and a really nice tag system, and it's generally very shiny and glorious and I already love my new account to pieces.

I have already transferred approximately 80 percent of my fics to this site (whether the rest will follow, I don't know yet; I might just leave the stories I'm not that proud of), and while I might not remove the stories from FFnet and delete my account here (at least not yet - I might consider doing this at a later point, but I will leave them up for now, just in case FFnet decides to become awesome once again and I want to move back here, although I doubt it), **from now on I will only post my stories to (and update WIP fics on) AO****3. **

**So, if you want to follow my stories, and my writing in general, you'd better bookmark it or something. I do hope to see you all there:**

archiveofourown (dot) org (slash) users (slash) Rena


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